I find this a bit odd

duchy

It's all to do with intention but sending a Merry Christmas rather than Seasons Greetings card to someone recently bereaved does seem crass and unthinking. Some people however don't think or have any imagination.

tea_lover

duchy wrote: »

It's all to do with intention but sending a Merry Christmas rather than Seasons Greetings card to someone recently bereaved does seem crass and unthinking. Some people however don't think or have any imagination.

and some people appreciate that a less than ideally worded card is better than ignoring someone recently bereaved.

missbiggles1

tea_lover wrote: »

and some people appreciate that a less than ideally worded card is better than ignoring someone recently bereaved.

Of course, but that isn't the choice.

missbiggles1

hazyjo wrote: »

Bloke at work has just lost his dad - I sent him a message and he said a bit about it, then said 'enough of this humbug - roll on Christmas!'.


As said, we're all different and I try not to judge on what others think is acceptable. It's not necessarily thoughtless just because it's not what you'd do.


I don't like it when people tell me my dad's watching me or looking down on me. I actually find it upsetting. I wouldn't tell that person though as I'd find that more offensive as they're only saying what they think is right or nice. I certainly wouldn't hold it against them and take it in as nice a way as I could.


Jx

That sounds fine until you realise that what it actually means is "I don't care if I offend or upset someone".

bugslet

Pretty much everone who knew me, knew that Mr Bugs was going to die around about Xmas Day.

I'm fairly sure that some of the cards probably said Happy or merry on them - didn't find it insensitive, it's a card, it'snot mean to be taken literally. It's an anodyne saying. I was just happy that people bothered.

Maybe I am the most easy going bod on the planet.;)

hazyjo

missbiggles1 wrote: »

That sounds fine until you realise that what it actually means is "I don't care if I offend or upset someone".

Was talking about others actually, when they say things that I find offensive - would like to think I wouldn't say or do things that some might take offence to or find upsetting, but then perhaps I have done without realising it! I would always be very careful about what I send to someone grieving!


I mean that I try not to judge them from their comment or gesture as a lot of the time things are done or said from people's hearts.


Some people just seem to think a little less than others and aren't quite so empathetic.


Jx

Kim_kim

Mojisola wrote: »

The Irish side of my family must have missed the memo on this.

http://www.rollercoaster.ie/Discussions/tabid/119/ForumThread/141247507/Default.aspx

I can't find any formal links to it, but I can find the practice being discussed as the norm on this Irish message board & many more similar.

It's probably linked to the year & a day formal morning of the Catholic Church.

Mojisola

Kim_kim wrote: »

http://www.rollercoaster.ie/Discussions/tabid/119/ForumThread/141247507/Default.aspx

I can't find any formal links to it, but I can find the practice being discussed as the norm on this Irish message board & many more similar.

It's probably linked to the year & a day formal morning of the Catholic Church.

Doesn't matter how many links you find on the internet, it's not going to change the fact that this wasn't done in my Irish family.

Kim_kim

Mojisola wrote: »

Doesn't matter how many links you find on the internet, it's not going to change the fact that this wasn't done in my Irish family.

Fair enough, your family have every right to pick & choose what practices & customs they follow.

What I & many others can assure you, it is common practice in Ireland.

Mojisola

Kim_kim wrote: »

Fair enough, your family have every right to pick & choose what practices & customs they follow.

What I & many others can assure you, it is common practice in Ireland.

They didn't 'chose' not to follow this 'common practice' - they've never heard of it so maybe it's not quite as common as you think.