I find this a bit odd

DevilsAdvocate1

orangesandapples wrote: »

Facebook is a community just like any other, she may have friends that she wishes to communicate with.
Would you think bad of her if she was phoning people, that is a form of communication after all. Maybe she finds it easier to type rather than get involved in emotional conversations right now.

It wasn't the fact she was / is on Facebook at all. What shocked me was the name change back to her maiden name and the status to single. This was before the funeral.

And although I mentioned not being sure what to do re a Christmas card, the discussion around Christmas did not start with me.

If I was being judgemental, I would go to my friend and ask why she's done this. But I'm not going to do that as I don't want to make things harder for her. That is why I came to a forum where I could ask without upsetting her further, as I was interested in why someone would do this.

Izzy8484

When my uncle committed suicide very surprisingly two years ago, it brought to light a whole bunch of surprising details about him. He was leading this complete double life.

A woman called us and said she had a son 35 years of age with him (I am 32). My uncle had a longtime partner when he died. He had also been married twice throughout my life, yet this lady with the son claimed to have been seeing my uncle for over 35 years still so this had been going on my whole life. She was able to describe details of his flat and so on.

I am not saying this is the case here but some food for thought. We do not always know what goes on behind closed doors.

Coinmachine

Maybe she didn't have the page on full screen and if widowed is the last option she may not have noticed it or would have had to scroll to spot it. I don't use the site but this seems a plausible suggestion to me.

clairec79 wrote: »

I just checked and in relationship options it has

single,
in a relationship,
engaged,
married,
in a civil partnership,
in a domestic partnership,
in an open relationship,
it's complicated,
seperated,
divorced,
widowed

prosaver

i remember Esther Rantzen told a sad story after her husband died . at the next christmas time she was going to celebrate it in the family home and invite family and celebrate it like if he was there.
She said it made it worse and made her miss him even more, after that she sold the family house and moved to a small house.

and now for cyril on some oddy shaped veg..

jemb

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Usually, the first year after someone dying, they don't send Christmas cards.

Maybe not send one either as a sign of respecting the dead (not sure if it's done the other way round or not)?

When is this a 'rule' from? My Dad passed away from cancer last year, was married to my Mum for 35 years. She went out of her way to be 'normal' and send cards. Maybe nobody told her your 'rule'.

GobbledyGook

People deal with death very differently.

My best friend lost her husband in May. For the rest of May, June and July you wouldn't even have known she'd been married. She changed her name back, she went out partying constantly, she did a tonne of things he wouldn't have liked (skiing instead of a sun holiday) and then at the end of July she finally had to accept that he was gone and she crashed. She'd done a good job of conning herself into believing she was ok until then...

As for the 'single' part - perhaps the word 'widow' is just too much to face yet.

DevilsAdvocate1

GobbledyGook wrote: »

People deal with death very differently.

My best friend lost her husband in May. For the rest of May, June and July you wouldn't even have known she'd been married. She changed her name back, she went out partying constantly, she did a tonne of things he wouldn't have liked (skiing instead of a sun holiday) and then at the end of July she finally had to accept that he was gone and she crashed. She'd done a good job of conning herself into believing she was ok until then...

As for the 'single' part - perhaps the word 'widow' is just too much to face yet.

I'm thinking it might be this. She seems almost manically happy. Think there might be a crash at some point, so will try and keep a check on her.