I find this a bit odd

DevilsAdvocate1

I find this a bit odd and wondered if anyone else did as well.

My friend's husband died suddenly last week in a car crash (not his fault). His funeral is tomorrow.

I noticed this morning that she has changed her Facebook profile to say that she is single and also has changed back to her maiden name. They have a son who is 6 who has her husband's surname.

I find this a bit strange and I'm not sure what to make of it. Also, what name do I put when I post her Christmas card (might just leave the surname off altogether).

peachyprice

What's more bizzare, the fact that she's changed her name and status already or the fact that at a time like this she's on freakin' facebook?

arbroath_lass

Grief affects people in many different ways, I wouldn't make anything of it.

meg72

Sudden death is hard to cope with, your friend will be in shock, I wouldn't make too much of it to be honest and just address the card as you would normally do.

Gloomendoom

I'd be getting CSI to check the car over.

onomatopoeia99

peachyprice wrote: »

What's more bizzare, the fact that she's changed her name and status already or the fact that at a time like this she's on freakin' facebook?

I'm astonished. Should someone that's grieving put their entire life on hold, so no leisure activites at all, just organsing the funeral, closing accounts and drinking tea to fill their waking hours?

Is (say) watching TV more or less acceptable than being on facebook? Should that be given up as well? And the radio? Reading?

hazyjo

He could have been on his way to see his bit on the side... who knows!


Yes, it's a bit strange, but then some people think legally they have to go back to their maiden name and become a Miss. We had a similar question on here which, although hard to believe, appeared to be genuine. I know plenty of elderly people who will always be 'Mrs', despite losing their husbands.


I'd either wait until I could hand her a card (with just her first name on), or would probably use her married name but leave the 'Mrs' off. If they have kids, I'd just say '[HER NAME] and family' on the envelope.


Jx

thorsoak

And what business is it of yours, DevilsAdvocate?

Are you going to comment upon the fact that her funeral clothing is too short/too bright/not appropriate?

The facebook posts may be her way of informing people.

Soundgirlrocks

She is grieving and people do unexpected or unusual things when they are grieving I wouldn't read too much into it.

peachyprice wrote: »

What's more bizzare, the fact that she's changed her name and status already or the fact that at a time like this she's on freakin' facebook?

Again different people have different ideas about what is acceptable, when my father died once immediate friends and family had been told I put a brief Facebook status update to let people know he had past away (he'd been ill for a while so it wasn't unexpected) I couldn't face months of telling friends and acquaintances that he had gone and just wanted the news out there. Years ago it would have been a notice in the local paper and I felt it was the same thing. However my stepmum wasn't happy about it she felt it wasn't appropriate. I'm glad I did, it made the following months that bit easier (I work with a lot of freelancers who I don't see on a regular basis but consider friends)

gettingtheresometime

My mum is a Mrs still despite being divorced.....and if you really want to see get angry just ask her if you can speak to her husband lol!

A friend of mine has just changed her name on Facebook - still happily married though.

pollyanna24

Usually, the first year after someone dying, they don't send Christmas cards.

Maybe not send one either as a sign of respecting the dead (not sure if it's done the other way round or not)?