I find this a bit odd

missbiggles1

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Usually, the first year after someone dying, they don't send Christmas cards.

Maybe not send one either as a sign of respecting the dead (not sure if it's done the other way round or not)?

Certainly don't send her one wishing her a happy or merry Christmas!

Proxima_Centauri

Does Facebook have an option for 'widow'? (I don't use facebook, so don't know all the ins and outs)

Another one here who hasn't heard of the 'tradition' of not giving Christmas cards the year after someone passes!

seashore22

So is the tradition that you don't send cards to the bereaved or that the bereaved don't send cards?

seashore22

Is this an Irish custom? It sounds like it might be.

splishsplash

I wonder if it's an Irish thing? It's standard here not to send/receive cards or put up decorations the first Christmas after a close family member dies - especially if the death happens towards the end of the year.

lika_86

'til death do us part.

She can do whatever she wants (and should be free to). As for a Christmas card, maybe just send a condolence card and say you'll be thinking of her over the festive period. Pop it through the letterbox or hand-deliver it to avoid the name issue.

hazyjo

Also not heard of the tradition - my mum gave us a card when my dad died (in the July).


Is it just widows/widowers, or other family members who aren't traditionally meant to send cards?


Jx

mumps

My father died 50 years ago leaving a widow and 3 children, the youngest only 7. Family were a bit disapproving that we still celebrated Christmas but although my mother didn't want to go shopping I was sent out with money and a list and bought presents for little brother and food etc. On Christmas Eve when it was already dark mum suddenly grabbed her coat and said come with me. We went out and topped up what I had bought and had to drag the shopping back as we couldn't carry it. She decided we had missed out on enough and shouldn't miss Christmas.

I think people should do what they feel is right for them.

bugslet

peachyprice wrote: »

What's more bizzare, the fact that she's changed her name and status already or the fact that at a time like this she's on freakin' facebook?

When Mr Bugs shuffled off, I rang immediate family and friends and then about three hours later posted on a small forum that I've been a member of for some years. The ladies there had been an invaluable support whilst he was ill and there kind thoughts meant a lot when I told them he passed.

Whatever floats your boat really.

amibovvered

duchy wrote: »

My Mum didn't the year my Dad died.
I was very much under the impression it was convention.

My dad died in October (1973). We very specifically sent the Christmas cards out early that year with a note so that people we didn't see often knew that he had died and could address their cards accordingly. Not sending cards out wouldn't have stopped others sending cards to us, seeing my dad's name on the envelopes would have distressed my mum and people had the opportunity to send timely sympathies and weren't embarrassed if they found out later from another source.