Child free (by choice. )All of our friends now have children.

missbiggles1

mumps wrote: »

Yes I remember friends being in them in the 70s, I never joined as my mum always looked after mine if I was going out. I occasionally used to babysit for friends or neighbours but it was done as a favour not for money or for them to babysit for me but the people I did it for did other things for me e.g. when I didn't have a car they would offer me a lift to the supermarket.

I think most young mums are working now so the idea of going out at night to babysit doesn't really appeal, at least that is how it appears to me.

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I never felt it made much difference whether I sat in front of someone else's TV or my own (if nothing else, it made for a change of scenery!) and obviously my husband did his turn so it only meant doing it a couple of times a month.

Definitely worth spending an evening separately once a week for the opportunity of spending an evening out together the same amount.

I remember doing it as part of a LETS scheme as well - it was about the only skill or service we were able to offer!

LannieDuck

Yeah, babysitting's expensive, and then I have to add on top whatever cost is involved in the evening out. Plus I normally want to get home for an 11pm bed because the girls will get me up at 6am *sigh*

It's not that I don't want to go out with friends, it's just that logistics change when you have kids

FBaby

hat doesn't strike me as a great way to make really genuine, valuable friendships, even if it does get you out of the house more in the short term.

There's friendship and friendship. There are the friends who we like to get together with regularly because you share circumstances, interests, events, and understand each other with what matters to you at that time.

Of course that is totally different to the friendships which are much deeper and resemble more what you experience with close family members. However, I believe that with such friendships, it doesn't matter that you don't share common grounds on regular basis, so I don't think this is the type of friendship OP is referring too.

I have very little in common with one of my closest friends, although the friendship did build on common grounds but we have evolved very differently. It doesn't matter though, we always really look forward to meeting up. The difference is that we are happy to get together every few months because we wouldn't have as much to talk about if we met weekly or even more often.

dirty_magic

Eurgh, soft play centres. I went once and came back with a terrible stomach upset and a cold at the same time. It wasn't fun!

Our friends have a baby and I've only met her once! We either go to theirs after she's gone to bed or their parents babysit. Obviously we talk about the baby but they're no different to how they were before except they don't really drink now because of having to get up.

With the presents thing I'd just stop doing it. It gets too expensive buying presents for everyone. We only buy for our nephews.

enthusiasticsaver

mai_taylor wrote: »

It feels like I've just written this. We organised a Christmas party / get together at our house (babies invited), thought this would be easier than arranging a Christmas meal or drinks out but hardly anyone could make it so I've just cancelled it. One couple wanted to come at 6 (started at 6.30) and leave at 7.15 so their 18 month year old could go to bed. We gave them 2 months notice.

Maybe they don't have family nearby to babysit. You can't leave an 18 month with just any old babysitter and a grumbly overtired toddler is no pleasure to take out at night. Giving 2 months notice would make no difference if they have no one to leave him/her with. Sorry you have had to cancel though. We always find an open house mid afternoon thing at weekend going on to evening for older couples/singles or those without kids works better for everyone as young families can come late afternoon.

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I never felt it made much difference whether I sat in front of someone else's TV or my own (if nothing else, it made for a change of scenery!) and obviously my husband did his turn so it only meant doing it a couple of times a month.

Definitely worth spending an evening separately once a week for the opportunity of spending an evening out together the same amount.

I remember doing it as part of a LETS scheme as well - it was about the only skill or service we were able to offer!

I suppose it depends if they are likely to be out late. It is a cost effective way to do it. I think my sons will stick with mum doing it.

enthusiasticsaver

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, I've never known anybody whose parents would babysit for them except in emergencies and everybody I know has used paid babysitters on a regular basis, so perhaps it's a regional thing?

There are also lots of people who organise a baby sitting circle with friends. We were in a babysitting triangle once (too small a village to have more than three couples with children:rotfl:) which was rather limiting but at least ensured we could go out on our own a couple of times a month.

When we moved down to the south west we had no family so we set up a babysitting circle with vouchers for an hours babysitting. They fell out of favour though when we all went back to work. Last thing I wanted to do was work then babysit someone else's kids and hope OH not working late so he could look after ours then be up during the night with our own children.

Now I babysit quite happily for our granddaughter during day, evening or overnight but my daughter and her husband have never left their 15 month old DD with anyone other than us or other grandparents.

onomatopoeia99

mumps wrote: »

People don't seem to trust the 15 year old neighbour these days

I made some money that way when I was 14/15 babysitting a neighbour's infants school age children once a month. A tenner for the evening was a lot to me in those days and it was easy. The children were already asleep when I arrived, I read or watched TV for a few hours, the parents got home, paid me and I walked home the 100 yards or so. It was in an age before mobiles, so I had the number of the restaurant or friends they were going to in case of emergencies, which there never were.

missbiggles1

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

When we moved down to the south west we had no family so we set up a babysitting circle with vouchers for an hours babysitting. They fell out of favour though when we all went back to work. Last thing I wanted to do was work then babysit someone else's kids and hope OH not working late so he could look after ours then be up during the night with our own children.

Now I babysit quite happily for our granddaughter during day, evening or overnight but my daughter and her husband have never left their 15 month old DD with anyone other than us or other grandparents.

We usually went out at the weekend rather than in the week and, as I said, it was just a question of walking across the road and sitting in front of a different TV before walking back.

Even if I'd lived near my parents, they would have been in their 70s at the point when we would have had a baby and I wouldn't have asked them to take that responsibility, it would have worried them too much.

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, I've never known anybody whose parents would babysit for them except in emergencies and everybody I know has used paid babysitters on a regular basis, so perhaps it's a regional thing?

There are also lots of people who organise a baby sitting circle with friends. We were in a babysitting triangle once (too small a village to have more than three couples with children:rotfl:) which was rather limiting but at least ensured we could go out on our own a couple of times a month.

The only babysitters I have ever used are my parents and a family friend. I wouldn't know where to start with finding a paid babysitter and I don't know enough people locally to ask. Until recently my parents lived over 200 miles away and so opportunities to go out without the kids were thin on the ground.

As for socialising with child-free friends, I was the first of my uni friends to have kids. Over the years we have all met up for various activities and there was never any question that the kids were not welcome. A typical day out would involve meeting in London to visit a museum or other attraction, or have a picnic in the park etc, and then head to a pub or restaurant for a meal. Soft play places? Not a chance. They are hell-on-earth for parents and there's no way I'd subject a child-free person to one.