Child free (by choice. )All of our friends now have children.

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

People are more likely to live far away from parents and siblings (which I believe you think is to be encouraged, no?) and even if they are nearby then grandparents are far more likely to still be working and busy themselves these days. I've never heard of anybody I know paying for a babysitter, or of anybody who babysits for a living.

Well, I've never known anybody whose parents would babysit for them except in emergencies and everybody I know has used paid babysitters on a regular basis, so perhaps it's a regional thing?

There are also lots of people who organise a baby sitting circle with friends. We were in a babysitting triangle once (too small a village to have more than three couples with children:rotfl:) which was rather limiting but at least ensured we could go out on our own a couple of times a month.

mumps

Person_one wrote: »

Thanks for posting that, I met one of my closest friends on the first day of secondary school too, we are also very different in lots of ways and she is a single mum now while I am CFBC. I hope our friendship lasts as long as yours.

I hope so too. I think when you are different anyway it is easier to accept you went different ways. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, I've never known anybody whose parents would babysit for them except in emergencies and everybody I know has used paid babysitters on a regular basis, so perhaps it's a regional thing?

There are also lots of people who organise a baby sitting circle with friends. We were in a babysitting triangle once (too small a village to have more than three couples with children:rotfl:) which was rather limiting but at least ensured we could go out on our own a couple of times a month.

I haven't heard of baby sitting circles for years. My kids have never used them but then I babysit for them as mine did for me. Maybe it is regional. From my kids point of view I beat a babysitter handsdown because the children come and stay with me and they can have a lie in as well as a night out.

FBaby

The irony with babysitters is that when you when you have small kids and therefore tend to hang around friends who do to, you find yourself not knowing anyone with teenagers who you would trust to babysit your kids. Even when you do, the going rate is still shocking! Paying £25 for an evening just to catch up with old friends is a lot of money spent for many parents.

I think the way you feel about kids evolves with time. I adores being around kids when I was a teenager and couldn't wait to be a mum when I was in my 20s. Now that they are teenagers, I really don't like little ones any longer. All I can think of is how annoying they are, noisy and attention graving! I expect I will resort to thinking that little John babbling is the cutest thing on earth that needs to be shared with all my friends when I become a grand mother some day.

That's why it's good to mix with like-minded friends because you are on the page at the same time!

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, I've never known anybody whose parents would babysit for them except in emergencies and everybody I know has used paid babysitters on a regular basis, so perhaps it's a regional thing?

Probably a social circle thing rather than a regional thing. I've never even heard of paid professional adult babysitters tbh.

I used to babysit for pocket money as a teenager, because my parents were young parents and a lot of their friends had much younger children, but only when I was about 15/16 and only when the kids were old enough to be not much trouble. I don't think any of them would have wanted to leave a 16 year old alone with their tiny babies or toddlers or more than one in nappies.

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

That's why it's good to mix with like-minded friends because you are on the page at the same time!

You don't really mean like-minded though do you? You mean people with the same family circumstances for convenience! That doesn't strike me as a great way to make really genuine, valuable friendships, even if it does get you out of the house more in the short term.

Person_one

justme111 wrote: »

I think people ask that question with the same thought as when they ask "how are you" - everybody expects one to say "fine" or start talking about their children. So when they are met with an answer "I do not have children " they have no idea how to move conversation on, feel awkward and start digging a hole

The thing is, I know it throws people, so I've got good at answering with a jokey response and a quick follow up question to move things on, but there are still some stubborn types who just don't get the hint and really really want to explain to their satisfaction why you haven't made the same choices as them.

If you start asking parents why they had their children though it doesn't go down well at all...;)

justme111

I think it could be a good response to a question of why you don't have any - saying thatbusually there need to be a stronger motive for doing something rather than not doing it and ask them why they had them. May yield deep phylosophical conversation.

missbiggles1

mumps wrote: »

I haven't heard of baby sitting circles for years. My kids have never used them but then I babysit for them as mine did for me. Maybe it is regional. From my kids point of view I beat a babysitter handsdown because the children come and stay with me and they can have a lie in as well as a night out.

They used to be very common and what most groups of friends and/or neighbours did for babysitting if there wasn't a responsible teenager available. Strange that the practice has fallen out of favour just at the time when money's tight for so many people.:(

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

They used to be very common and what most groups of friends and/or neighbours did for babysitting if there wasn't a responsible teenager available. Strange that the practice has fallen out of favour just at the time when money's tight for so many people.:(

Yes I remember friends being in them in the 70s, I never joined as my mum always looked after mine if I was going out. I occasionally used to babysit for friends or neighbours but it was done as a favour not for money or for them to babysit for me but the people I did it for did other things for me e.g. when I didn't have a car they would offer me a lift to the supermarket.

I think most young mums are working now so the idea of going out at night to babysit doesn't really appeal, at least that is how it appears to me.

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