OH wants a separation. I have no job. HELP!

annandale

There's been a post of mine above quoted with bits added in that I didn't say.

Just to say I had a council flat and was working when I got my house offer.

I would have struggled to get a mortgage at the time I went into my flat as I was working, part time at that time, 20 hours even though I had a permanent work contract my wages were low.

I know several people who work and are in council or housing association flats/homes, I think it would do no harm to make enquiries, you can always remove yourself from any list at a later date if it's not for you.

I also think that as both of you have lawyers you should let them do the communicating on the divorce. Him emailing you isn't really helping you at the moment. The complete opposite by the sounds of it.

kelpie35

Zippy I think it has come to the stage that you need to let your solicitor know the demands he is making on you and allow him/her to deal with it.

As you say you are paying the solicitor to support you.

If I were you I would read and keep all emails from your ex, take copies if that is possible, and don't reply to them unless it is to confirm a time to pick bike up.

I also think it is a good idea to approach your local council/housing association to see if you would be eligible to go on their waiting list. This might be an alternative to a private landlord.

Take care

annandale

Yeah it was. It's not what I originally said. Bits added. Was the original post about her considering housing association properties.

My area is busy, however most places have huge waiting lists and some others don't.

The area I live in isn't full.

kelpie35

I am now in social housing and have been for around 20 years.

I was in exactly the same position as Zippy is just now and it was very hard to cope.

My heart goes out to her and I wish I could transfer the strength I have now, from what I went through, to her.

justme111

Sorry I must have missed it - what exactly has he done wrong?
Re condescending remark about zippy getting emotional- did you read that I written that she says she does ? Or you do not understand what "by her own admission " words mean?

annandale

She's not being given access to the relevant financial information so that she can see what their joint debt is..

Hes browbeating her about the house, it might be the right decision to sell up but I don't think he's handling this very well at all.

Badgering someone about what you want when two people are involved really isn't decent.

If solicitors are involved they should be doing the communicating. Hes refusing to speak face to face anyway.

justme111

Re house and browbeating - how telling one what other wants is browbeating? It is part of negotiations. Re talking, emailing or doing all through solicitors - there are pros and cons to each , how choosing one way over another can be called badgering just because of the way one chosen to communicate? Has zippy by any chance let us now she has been receiving emails form him with demands daily?
Re letting her know the amount of debt - it will all come up with disclosure , how not doing it now causing any trouble? Where did zippy stated that she really wanted to see it ? They have lived together apparently without her knowing for years so this state of affairs is what they are used to.

annandale

The words she used were dictating terms. That doesn't sound like much negotiating to me.

Irrespective of the method of communication he's using.

It's her debt as well. Surely it's reasonable to tell someone how much the debt is when it's partly hers?

annandale

Ignored her email..dictating his terms

That's not communication

gaea

One poster is right, being proactive will help you stand on your own feet. Face your fears. Don't let your OH make you feel invaluable, maybe this could be a good opportunity for you to get back the confidence that was lost. You can look for a new job suitable to your skills to support yourself and your children.