OH wants a separation. I have no job. HELP!

zippy1997

kelpie35 wrote: »

I am sure that if you apply for various jobs you will find out where you will feel comfortable working. I hope so.

Is there any possibility that once you have a job, gain confidence, that things at home might change re your OP. right now, no. OH seems 100% adamant he wants out, to live his own life as a single man

You might have things to talk about and that might help the situation you are in. Sadly I think we've passed that.

Do you ever have date nights? No, we've never done that since the kids were born, unless you count a KFC for lunch or something!

I am sure that if you put some effort into showing him that you still wish to be married to him, things might become easier and you can TALK through how you really feel. He has already made it clear it's over. He's even talking about divorce (last night he mentioned it) so...

Is there any particular reason that your OH is coming home late? He works quite a way away and the traffic in the evening is terrible. I'm sure there's no other reason

While you are still together there is hope, but it is something you both want and are willing to work together to make it a good marriage.He's made it clear it's over. Whether I want to work it out or not.

Answers above.

martinnathalie9

So sorry to hear you are going through this. You might feel like your world is crumbling around you, but if your OH has chosen to discuss ending your marriage over email, it probably isn't the right relationship to be in, even if he is a decent man. Speak to a solicitor to figure out your legal rights, and start thinking about what kind of work you would like to do. Even if you haven't been in a workplace for 19 years, you have experience. It will be hard for a while of course, but try and see this as a new beginning, rather than the end, and a chance to do something for yourself. If you keep focused on this then you'll probably end up happier than you were in your marriage.

zippy1997

duchy wrote: »

Best interview tip ever .....if you are nervous -imagine the interviewer naked - and they won't seem as scary !!

Just go and be yourself , think about the side of you that you want them to see - and prepare in advance an answer to the enevitable questions like why you are returning to work (kids are grown and it's time - they don't want the details of your marriage) and why you think you'd be an asset to them as an employee (honest, punctual, reliable etc- and don't mention the dawg !! )

LOL! I will try that if I stop shaking long enough!

It's for a care worker role driving around - meaning I'll have to use my own car, going to have to check the insurance on that as I have no idea how much that will add to my premium.

kelpie35

As your husband is determined to separate/divorce I think you need to now show him that you are not prepared to discuss this my text or email.

Tell him that you are taking legal advice and will only discuss matters when you know where you stand.

Good luck with the interview on Monday. Please do not say you applied because your marriage is coming to an end and you need money to fund your new life.

zippy1997

kelpie35 wrote: »

As your husband is determined to separate/divorce I think you need to now show him that you are not prepared to discuss this my text or email.

Tell him that you are taking legal advice and will only discuss matters when you know where you stand.

Good luck with the interview on Monday. Please do not say you applied because your marriage is coming to an end and you need money to fund your new life.

He knows we need to talk in person. He spoke to a lady at work last week who is going through a divorce and she made it clear we need to talk a LOT to sort through this.

Yes I won't mention the marriage at all! I am basically just going back to work as my youngest is now old enough to look after herself.

duchy

You keep avoiding the question about legal advice

Person_one

zippy1997 wrote: »

LOL! I will try that if I stop shaking long enough!

It's for a care worker role driving around - meaning I'll have to use my own car, going to have to check the insurance on that as I have no idea how much that will add to my premium.

They should really pay for that, but they probably won't.

Another interview tip, if you are nervous its ok to admit that! If you need a minute to think before giving an answer, take a minute! Interviewers are human too, they've been there, they understand.

With some care agencies you can do 'split shifts' where you do 4 or so hours in the morning (get ups, breakfast etc.) then a break then 4 or so hours in the evening (supper, helping to bed etc.) which a lot of people don't want to do but might work well with the dog?

zippy1997

duchy wrote: »

You keep avoiding the question about legal advice

Yes I know. I'm going to CAB on Monday. It's a drop-in centre.

Then it will be a solicitor - when I've checked out the local ones and if/what they charge.

zippy1997

Person_one wrote: »

They should really pay for that, but they probably won't.

Another interview tip, if you are nervous its ok to admit that! If you need a minute to think before giving an answer, take a minute! Interviewers are human too, they've been there, they understand.

With some care agencies you can do 'split shifts' where you do 4 or so hours in the morning (get ups, breakfast etc.) then a break then 4 or so hours in the evening (supper, helping to bed etc.) which a lot of people don't want to do but might work well with the dog?

The split shifts don't particularly bother me, it's the use of my own car that does tbh. Not an excuse but it's an old car, not the best mpg-wise and I'd have to change my insurance to business use. If they don't pay (or very little) for mileage etc. then it might not be viable.

heartbreak_star

Go for it anyway - if nothing else it's interview experience

HBS x