OH wants a separation. I have no job. HELP!

elsien

Care work tends to be shifts, if that makes a difference. Still good interview practice though. I used to work in care (learning disability) and my job still involves going into care homes so if you have any questions, PM me.

UJM is rubbish (in my opinion) - I preferred indeed and reed to search by. They scrape all the jobs off the different sites so you get more of an overview.

Ref the dog, it may be he's picking up on your and the kids feelings as much as missing OH. They can be sensitive little souls like that.

zippy1997

Judi wrote: »

Is there any reason why he cant still do these duties? Is there any reason why you cant share the dog? He's lived with you both for so long. Can he not stay with both of you? Maybe you during the week and your OH weekends?

I cant see why you have to do it all especially as you say he misses your OH.

Trouble is OH will be renting a room (only at this stage) about 45/50 miles away so sharing him isn't feasible.

OH could help with the dog when he comes to see DD I suppose. He is of the view the dog will adapt and move on, his words - for example if we did send him back to the breeder for rehoming.

heartbreak_star

zippy1997 wrote: »

OH could help with the dog when he comes to see DD I suppose. He is of the view the dog will adapt and move on, his words - for example if we did send him back to the breeder for rehoming.

This has made me rage - pets are not just commodities!! Your OH needs to get that through his head!

HBS x

zippy1997

elsien wrote: »

Care work tends to be shifts, if that makes a difference. Still good interview practice though. I used to work in care (learning disability) and my job still involves you into care homes so if you have any questions, PM me.
Thank you I may PM you after thinking some more. It's working with under 18's. Shifts don't bother me as such, but during the day if I don't have time to get back for the dog (pee time) then it could be tough

UJM is rubbish (in my opinion) - I preferred indeed and reed to search by. They scrape all the jobs off the different sites so you get more of an overview.
I'm going to have to get a system going I can see!

Ref the dog, it may be he's picking up on your and the kids feelings as much as missing OH. They can be sensitive little souls like that.
For sure. When I'm crying his little face is so sad. He's def not as happy as usual.

Answers above in bold, only typing this as I can't post message without 10 characters!

duchy

Indeed is probably more user friendly.

What is your own social circle like , we've heard about the OH, kids, dog but do you have friends who could help you in your early steps. If you are very home centred then something like Meet up might be a useful to build your confidence. Sometimes even work can come from letting people know you are looking for employment so broadening your social network can have benefits in that area too.

zippy1997

heartbreak_star wrote: »

This has made me rage - pets are not just commodities!! Your OH needs to get that through his head!

HBS x

I think OH does see it as a last resort, but the fact he thought about it bothered me at the time. He's completely checked out re the dog I feel.

heartbreak_star

zippy1997 wrote: »

I think OH does see it as a last resort, but the fact he thought about it bothered me at the time. He's completely checked out re the dog I feel.

He needs to check right back in on this whole situation - the dog is part of that! Don't let him just check out and waltz off into the sunset and leave all the work to you!

HBS x

zippy1997

duchy wrote: »

Indeed is probably more user friendly.

What is your own social circle like , we've heard about the OH, kids, dog but do you have friends who could help you in your early steps. If you are very home centred then something like Meet up might be a useful to build your confidence. Sometimes even work can come from letting people know you are looking for employment so broadening your social network can have benefits in that area too.

Any colleagues/friends I have through my previous jobs have all petered out. My old friend lives a bit far away to keep meeting up so that's fallen away. I don't actually have any one of that nature to talk to. My sis has been lending her ear and I know my Dad will - they'll both be over in a couple of hours to talk, which should be fun *sense the sarcasm!*

zippy1997

heartbreak_star wrote: »

He needs to check right back in on this whole situation - the dog is part of that! Don't let him just check out and waltz off into the sunset and leave all the work to you!

HBS x

I think it's to late for that! He's checked out on everything I think. If I asked he'd help I suppose. If I don't agree to rehome the dog eventually it could all be down to me. And my DD of course. Which is fine if that happens but I just have to make sure I can afford it, have the confidence with him and it's the best for the dog. If he's going to be miserable that won't work either.

duchy

I think the reality is he has checked out emotionally from all of you at the moment. It is a defence mechanism .

Did you ever find Jack's threadcalled something like "How much should I provide". It's very long thread but gives a perspective from the man's side .....it's a very similar situation with one child at uni and the other at home and the wife not having worked. It may give you some insight into your husband and children's thought processes as well as the legal side.