Changing dating strategy? Any ideas please?

Gloomendoom

cte1111 wrote: »

When would you use the word 'gent' then? Genuine query. And what does "I don't really do regional" mean? I was wondering if the word 'gent' was used more in one part of the country than another, like in the North, people might use the word 'love' more than in the South for example.

In everyday use, I use it where others may use "guys". I don't really do regional because I have moved around the country a fair bit. Not to mention going to a school where, rightly or wrongly, regional was frowned upon.

Or am I just too uncouth (what with frequenting pubs and bingo halls) to bother to read my posts in their entirety rather than just the odd phrase that you choose to back up your assumptions about me?

I have made no assumptions about you and really don't care if you do frequent pubs and bingo halls. Plenty of perfectly pleasant people do, I'm sure.

It's quite clear that you don't like to be disagreed with though.

Smartsaver7

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Not a massive sample, but I've found that where I've been first to message (or call) post-date it seems to be more likely to tell her "he's a bit too keen". In fact I found calling to be a disastrous strategy.

When I've adjusted my end of date patter to shift the onus on to my companion to instigate the next message I have found it easier to obtain the second date within my response.

When I was doing this malarky , it rarely got to a second date , I usually got the "You are a lovely guy , but don't think there is any chemistry " text usually before I had even reached home. The ones I did have a second date with just wanted another "Friend"

Smartsaver7

Gloomendoom wrote: »

It's quite clear that you don't like to be disagreed with though.

I think that is a given mate , shame that people on forums have to be that argumentative , grandstand & shout down everyone elses opinions , how unLADYlike

Time for another glass of wine

Lily-Rose_3

Gloomendoom wrote: »

In everyday use, I use it where others may use "guys". I don't really do regional because I have moved around the country a fair bit. Not to mention going to a school where, rightly or wrongly, regional was frowned upon.

I have made no assumptions about you and really don't care if you do frequent pubs and bingo halls. Plenty of perfectly pleasant people do, I'm sure.

It's quite clear that you don't like to be disagreed with though.

I agree with you.

I actually like to hear the word 'lady' used to be honest. And I think saying 'lady' sounds polite and courteous, compared to 'woman' that sounds a bit more abrupt. (Not when talking in general, but when addressing someone...)

'errrm excuse me lady......'
'errrm excuse me woman...'

I know which one I would rather hear if someone was talking to me! :rotfl:

Smartsaver7

If certain groups in society had their way we wouldn't be allowed to use Mr/Mrs/Miss , I believe some organisations are removing it .

We will all be ...what's the latest one... Binary

I hear wolf whistling is now 5 yrs in jail , the thing is most of my female friends and ex colleagues are /were more than happy to comment on the trouser furniture of guys, post pictures of men's six packs on social media and go watch the Chipmonks wave their tackle , but lord help a guy who calls a female a "Lady" a public hanging , Horse ~High, Kettle~ Pot~Black comes to mind:dance:

indiepanda

Smartsaver7 wrote: »

Meetup did kill it to a certain extent , you can now get the social stuff/meals free without paying the £80+ annual membership and cover charge per event , but it was good for the sports and activity stuff where many did meet their other halves , especially the holidays like La Santa / Mark Warner.

Most of those I joined with left when they started families or began holidaying as a couple or with other couples they met though the group , if you were single one ended up a bit of a gooseberry.

Ah, these days the couples are the exception - guess that's one improvement. I haven't done the kinds of holidays you mention, mainly go hiking and to the theatre. And I didn't join looking for a boyfriend (though I wouldn't object to meeting one), just to make friends in London when I first moved here.

I now have a really nice group friends who live near me, but keep my membership for hiking as not many of my London friends enjoy it. Has occured to me that now am single I would be better off trying a meetup hiking group if I wanted to meet a single hiker more my age. Although have had my heart given a bit of a kicking one way or another in the last few years so am not in a great hurry for it.

indiepanda

KnightRider wrote: »

Thanks for the assumption that I'm an overgrown child, complete stranger who has never met me! But seriously, I think you've stretched the 'silly' thing a bit too far. What I meant was someone who doesn't take life and everything so seriously. I don't think that's childish personally, it's not like I was running around wearing little shorts with a balloon in one hand and an ice cream in the other!

Ok, well, if you don't have a childish sense of humour I would really suggest not describing yourself as "silly" - I honestly don't know one woman who would be attracted to someone who described themselves that way. I don't take myself too seriously and I love going to local comedy nights etc. but I wouldn't describe myself as having a silly sense of humour. That word to me - whether it's what you mean or not - sounds like someone who still likes whoopie cushions. More like Gary and Tony in Men Behaving Badly than boyfriend material.

Smartsaver7

indiepanda wrote: »

I now have a really nice group friends who live near me, but keep my membership for hiking as not many of my London friends enjoy it. Has occured to me that now am single I would be better off trying a meetup hiking group if I wanted to meet a single hiker more my age. Although have had my heart given a bit of a kicking one way or another in the last few years so am not in a great hurry for it.

Same here, have a large circle of friends , mostly career single or back single after divorce and don't need the drama , but would be nice to meet that special one.

I joined some MU groups but found the purely social drinking ones a bit of a meet market , the activity ones seem to be a lot better for people meeting potential partners with similar interests ( ie hiking/skiing running ). If you live outside main cities you also tend to find the same faces at most social/single events be them MU /Speed dating/Ceroc or on the online dating rogues gallery.

I was in Spice for quite a bit , I left due to being in a long distance relationship and also found running around Centre Parcs dressed as a chicken whilst families looked at us like we were sad cases not something I wanted to continue doing into my late 40's.

anotheruser

cte1111 wrote: »

'Lady' (or 'girls' when applied to anyone over 21) can be seen to have connotations of old fashioned chauvinism and sexist undertones.

Personally I try to avoid it. You wouldn't call a male, a 'gentleman' so why call a woman 'lady'?

I call loads of old people ladies and gentlemen...

Everything is offensive to someone these days...

clint_S

cte1111 wrote: »

When would you use the word 'gent' then? Genuine query. And what does "I don't really do regional" mean? I was wondering if the word 'gent' was used more in one part of the country than another, like in the North, people might use the word 'love' more than in the South for example.

Or am I just too uncouth (what with frequenting pubs and bingo halls) to bother to read my posts in their entirety rather than just the odd phrase that you choose to back up your assumptions about me?

I grew up in the South East, and now live in the North West, and have always used "Gents" when meeting a group of Men. It's seems to be very common in both the North West and the South East. I also use "Ladies" when meeting a group of Women though.