My Sisters Bank Won't Let her release My Inheritance To Me-Please Help.

SnooksNJ

duchy wrote: »

My son has Aspergers and I do understand that the "pull yourself together and get a job" posts are with your current levels of anxiety unrealistic ,. That said in yourless anxious moments you clearly can see what you need to do (and not do). Ultimately your (well) sister's hands are tied until the situation with your (unwell) sister is resolved either by her recovering and able to sign or her removal as executor .
Whilst the relationship between you and your sisters is clearly difficult try not to make it worse by throwing around accusations and maybe a short note apologising for letting your tongue run away when you got anxious? What you accused her of was pretty horrible especially if she is doing her best to get everything resolved for all three of you but simply legally can't right now. Whether you like her or not , keeping things civil is likely to make this difficult situation better for all of you. My cousin gets like you do and tends to let things twist and turn in his head and ends up making unfounded awful accusations (and like you doesn't understand how offensive and hurtful they are as he also lacks empathy). It's very wearing and sometimes easier to not take his calls as he doesn't listen , knowing it's ASD and anxiety related and he can't help himself doesn't make it right. It's still horrible to listen to.

Go and see your GP, get them to look at your medication and see if they can offset the anxiety a bit with new medication and maybe some therapy or other referrals. A new GP might be just what you need at this point with a fresh eye to your problems. You could even write them a letter explaining what help you think you need and ask them to read it before your appointment so you don't get so frustrated trying to explain at your first appointment.

Just be mindful that when it comes to your sisters at the moment it's can't not won't !

I have a question about Asperger's. Does that mean you have no concept of how another person feels or how your actions have an impact on other people. All what matters is what your needs are. If it hurts the other person, that's their fault, not yours.

-taff

SnooksNJ wrote: »

I have a question about Asperger's. Does that mean you have no concept of how another person feels or how your actions have an impact on other people. All what matters is what your needs are

Depends on the severity. It can.

SnooksNJ wrote: »

If it hurts the other person, that's their fault, not yours.

There's no question of who's fault it is, or personal respnsibility for other people's feelings, that's a sentence designed to elicit an emotive response. If someone is severely autistic that kind of thing won't even enter their head. If a person is narcissitic, it probably will.

Yorkshireman99

SnooksNJ wrote: »

I have a question about Asperger's. Does that mean you have no concept of how another person feels or how your actions have an impact on other people. All what matters is what your needs are. If it hurts the other person, that's their fault, not yours.

Current terminology is Autistic Spectrum Disorder that covers a wide variety of personality differences from the mild to severe. There is no one size fits all definition. There are lots of people with milder forms leading fairly normal live including working.

-taff

annbarbs wrote: »

Yes I have got to get myself a GP.

You are the only person who can do this. If you don't. nothing will change. If you do, things may improve.

Only you can take this step.

Anthear

People with Asperger's can, in addition to lacking empathy, be very literal - they don't get nuances. It would appear that many of the issues seen here are a result of the Asperger's, but as someone else did point out there are degrees and one could argue that everyone is somewhere 'on the spectrum'.

duchy

SnooksNJ wrote: »

I have a question about Asperger's. Does that mean you have no concept of how another person feels or how your actions have an impact on other people. All what matters is what your needs are. If it hurts the other person, that's their fault, not yours.

Sometimes. The spectrum is broad and some are more socially adept than others but a lack of empathy is very common. I describe my son as having emotional tunnel vision at times.
It isn't not caring what impact the words or actions have on others , it's more the brain is wired differently so it doesn't occur to them.

There's a lot in the news at the moment about the man who hacked into theUS security systems who has Aspergers. He got completely obsessed with the challenge of doing so, He could only see the challenge to such a point of single mindedness that he couldn't see the consequence or risk to others in doing so. Couldn't not wouldn't.

Person_one

-taff wrote: »

Depends on the severity. It can.



There's no question of who's fault it is, or personal respnsibility for other people's feelings, that's a sentence designed to elicit an emotive response. If someone is severely autistic that kind of thing won't even enter their head. If a person is narcissitic, it probably will.

A narcissist, more or less by definition, doesn't consider other people's feelings just their own. Its a sadist who would take pleasure in causing suffering to others.

SnooksNJ

duchy wrote: »

Sometimes. The spectrum is broad and some are more socially adept than others but a lack of empathy is very common. I describe my son as having emotional tunnel vision at times.
It isn't not caring what impact the words or actions have on others , it's more the brain is wired differently so it doesn't occur to them.

There's a lot in the news at the moment about the man who hacked into theUS security systems who has Aspergers. He got completely obsessed with the challenge of doing so, He could only see the challenge to such a point of single mindedness that he couldn't see the consequence or risk to others in doing so. Couldn't not wouldn't.

Thanks for that. So what do you do when it the words or actions become so hurtful to the other party. Here the OP's sister apparently can't cope with it and shut the OP out.
I have a family member who has Asperger's. She had an obsession with getting a Mac Pro and stole from us to buy it. She got to keep the Mac and my SIL said it was my fault for having money and jewellery in the house.
How do you balance being sensitive to someone with Asperger's but also protecting yourself.

Yorkshireman99

I would caution against making generalisations about one case and applying it to another. ASD is a very very complex range of mental disorders and lay people drawing conclusions about one person in this way is quite wrong. In fact I think perhaps we would be wise to draw this whole unhappy thread to a close since is seems to have achieved nothing despite many people's efforts to help the OP. The only way the OP is going to move forward is to get professional medical help which none of us, despite considerable goodwill, can provide.

Person_one

SnooksNJ wrote: »

Thanks for that. So what do you do when it the words or actions become so hurtful to the other party. Here the OP's sister apparently can't cope with it and shut the OP out.
I have a family member who has Asperger's. She had an obsession with getting a Mac Pro and stole from us to buy it. She got to keep the Mac and my SIL said it was my fault for having money and jewellery in the house.
How do you balance being sensitive to someone with Asperger's but also protecting yourself.

Maybe that's a subject for a new thread in the main part of the families board?