My Sisters Bank Won't Let her release My Inheritance To Me-Please Help.

duchy

No having a GP will not make your money come any quicker .....however it can be a gateway to accessing assistance to help you deal with the wait and your worries in the meantime.

SnooksNJ

KxMx wrote: »

No empathy for siblings, one who also has MH illness.

Twice over the course of her threads she has wished herself an only child as she would get more money and things would be easier, in effect wiping her sisters out of existence for personal gain. The second time she did indicate that this wasn't realistic/ reasonable.

(I'm afraid I'm not up to the task of going back over Ann's posts to quote!)

Repeating the same information and worries repeatedly.

Not listening/ understanding when many posters explain a referral to MH services is worthwhile again due to her being under more strain because of bereavement and stress of recent events. She was turned down 2 years ago but doesn't grasp she'd be going with a new set of circumstances.

I don't want to recap it because it's so ugly but if the sister happens to read this she has my total sympathy.

Yorkshireman99

duchy wrote: »

No having a GP will not make your money come any quicker .....however it can be a gateway to accessing assistance to help you deal with the wait and your worries in the meantime.

It is the gateway to all sorts of things if you get appropriate treatment. Quite apart from the obvious benefits it may well enable you to work and support yourself rather than struggling on benefits.

TheBanker

annbarbs wrote: »

Yes it seems very grim for me at the moment and looks like I am going to have difficulty getting my inheritace.
And it could take months or even longer.

Inheritances often take a long time to be sorted out. The reason yours is delayed is uncommon, but many people have to wait for their inheritance while houses are sold, house sales fall through, paperwork is dealt with etc.

When my dad died it was a simple situation and I was the sole executor but it still took 9 months before I could make the final payments due to the paperwork involved in some of the transactions.

You should remember that you never had this money before, so you are no worse off now than you were before and you can continue to claim your benefits and live the same life you always lived until the money is released from the bank.

You should also remember that every month there is a delay you get another month of benefits and your inheritance will therefore last a month longer.

I don't think there is any doubt that you will get the money. If you didn't your sisters would be guilty of a crime but you need to allow them time to deal with everything including their own ill health.

In my time working for the bank I have seen lots of inheritance cases. They never go quickly unless it is a very small estate. Involving solicitors generally slows things down, and adds to the cost, reducing the money available for the beneficiaries.

I have to say this and it may sound harsh but put yourself in your (well) sister's shoes:

• She has also lost her monther
• She has lost her home and had to move
• Her other sister is ill in hospital

In these circumstances if I was the sister, I would be looking to my family (you) for support, and to be completely honest constant badgering about money would not go down well.

When I acted as executor (twice), I would have frankly been offended if one of the beneficiaries had involved solicitors. The deceased trusted me enough to name me the person responsible for sorting out their affairs and I would be very disappointed if other family members thought I was going to steal their money to the extent that they needed to involve solicitors.

Now, when my dad died, I didn't really need my share of the inheritance as I already had a home and savings. My sister on the other hand needed hers as quickly as possible as she was off work and had just had a baby, she had very little savings and her car was broken down. She never nagged me for her money or thought about involving solicitors. If she had involved a solicitor, I would probably have passed the estate to my own solicitor to deal with. This would have had the effect of delaying everything and incurring additional costs so everyone would have got smaller inheritances. But it would have removed me from the stress of being "nagged" and would have therefore been well worth it.

getmore4less

The reason your solicitor does not want you in his office is because while you are on the phone(speaker on low most likely) they can be getting on with more important work.

They know the conversation will mostly just be a repeat and they do not need or want to here that.

This will be a reason your bill is not growing they can charge less.

you will not feel any better by going to see them, you think you will but you won't you would just come back on here telling us your solicitor is trying to rob you. The solicitor would most probably be very detached, the last thing they want is to get involved in your problems other than help with the purely legal issue which they can do perfectly well over the phone.

If you want help then your solicitor is the wrong place to get it.
GP(as every one has told you numerous times)
local MH support groups charities.

In our town many of the socially challenged get support through a network of groups that provide services like places to meet and just have a chat.

one group operates regularly from a church coffee shop have 4 drop in sessions a week. offering a chance to just meet people have groups session or one to one counselling with trained listeners
having a bad day, feel a bit lonely, lost your job have a bigger issue they will help
Some just use it to help give structure to their week, some make friends so support each other, others get help finding the resources they need on specific issues...

There will be groups in your area that do need need GP referrals, seek them out.

elsien

annbarbs wrote: »

That is true.
The DWP cannot stop my benefits if I have not got the money.
So they cannot stop my benefit.
They will only stop my benefit after I have got the money-That means when the money is showing up in my bank account.

But if I don't get the money as I have not them my benefits won't be stopped.
So you are right.

So my solicitor has told me what he will do.
And even if he saw me at his office in person-He is only going to tell me the same thing that he told me on the phone.
But he never said he won't help me.
It's me that is just thinking that.
As I am looking at the worst side. as I always do.


.

Can I suggest you print this off in large print and put it somewhere you can read it when your anxiety starts to get the better of you again?

Your thoughts are going round in circles and this then magnifies it in your mind and leads you to assumptions that aren't correct.

I wouldn't just turn up at your ex social workers place of work - they tend to have policies about not seeing people. But if you have another way of contacting them it could be worth a try. Just don't build your hopes up too much because if they don't get involved then it's going to feel like another knock back for you.

The GP is not just for benefits. They may also refer you back to the CMHT as you are in a different situation now to 2 years ago. Or there may be other people/voluntary agencies who could offer some support. Or other therapies such as CBT which can help with unhelpful thought patterns. But you won't know until you do something about it.

kelpie35

OP can you contact your social work services and ask them what Autistic groups are in your area.

I know that you have ignored all the advice about registering with GP but you really need to focus your mind away from money at the moment.

I know you will find that extremely hard, due to your condition, but money will not bring you happiness.

You really need to change your thought process immediately as you are finding it so hard to cope with life.

If you wish to PM me I will try to help you get help from the people who understand your condition.

Take care

duchy

My son has Aspergers and I do understand that the "pull yourself together and get a job" posts are with your current levels of anxiety unrealistic ,. That said in yourless anxious moments you clearly can see what you need to do (and not do). Ultimately your (well) sister's hands are tied until the situation with your (unwell) sister is resolved either by her recovering and able to sign or her removal as executor .
Whilst the relationship between you and your sisters is clearly difficult try not to make it worse by throwing around accusations and maybe a short note apologising for letting your tongue run away when you got anxious? What you accused her of was pretty horrible especially if she is doing her best to get everything resolved for all three of you but simply legally can't right now. Whether you like her or not , keeping things civil is likely to make this difficult situation better for all of you. My cousin gets like you do and tends to let things twist and turn in his head and ends up making unfounded awful accusations (and like you doesn't understand how offensive and hurtful they are as he also lacks empathy). It's very wearing and sometimes easier to not take his calls as he doesn't listen , knowing it's ASD and anxiety related and he can't help himself doesn't make it right. It's still horrible to listen to.

Go and see your GP, get them to look at your medication and see if they can offset the anxiety a bit with new medication and maybe some therapy or other referrals. A new GP might be just what you need at this point with a fresh eye to your problems. You could even write them a letter explaining what help you think you need and ask them to read it before your appointment so you don't get so frustrated trying to explain at your first appointment.

Just be mindful that when it comes to your sisters at the moment it's can't not won't !

duchy

kelpie35 wrote: »

OP can you contact your social work services and ask them what Autistic groups are in your area.

I know that you have ignored all the advice about registering with GP but you really need to focus your mind away from money at the moment.

I know you will find that extremely hard, due to your condition, but money will not bring you happiness.

You really need to change your thought process immediately as you are finding it so hard to cope with life.

If you wish to PM me I will try to help you get help from the people who understand your condition.

Take care

Post 220 OP has registered with a new GP

Caroline_a

duchy wrote: »

Post 220 OP has registered with a new GP

No, I think she said

Yes I have got to get myself a GP.
Because if the DWP review my benefits which they could do, I will need a GP for that.