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My Sisters Bank Won't Let her release My Inheritance To Me-Please Help.

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Deaths, Funerals & Probate
374 replies 57.6K views
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  • *max**max* Forumite
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    I just wanted to point out something that has been on my mind from the beginning of this whole saga, and we should not lose sight of: mental illness does not ONLY affect good, kind-hearted people. It does not discriminate. Someone who was not a very nice person to begin with, does not suddenly become a lovely, misunderstood angel just because they have mental health issues.
    Just my two pennies.
  • seashore22seashore22 Forumite
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    *max* wrote: »
    I just wanted to point out something that has been on my mind from the beginning of this whole saga, and we should not lose sight of: mental illness does not ONLY affect good, kind-hearted people. It does not discriminate. Someone who was not a very nice person to begin with, does not suddenly become a lovely, misunderstood angel just because they have mental health issues.
    Just my two pennies.


    I couldn't agree more. I have a family member with long term mental health problems and their personality makes it 10 times more difficult to deal with them. I have read the op's thread and had some sympathy for their situation, but the last post was difficult to stomach. It also sounded horribly familiar - single minded obsession and complete lack of thought or empathy for anyone else.

    See a doctor op, for yourself and everyone else involved.
  • edited 24 October 2016 at 1:55PM
    KxMxKxMx Forumite
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    edited 24 October 2016 at 1:55PM
    whitewing wrote: »
    Ann,

    You are obviously unwell and this is a very stressful situation for you and your sisters. Please take that leap of faith and go and register/see a GP. Tell the GP that your online friends say that you are

    losing perspective
    finding it difficult to make rational decisions
    possibly increasing solicitor's fees because of a constant need for clarification due to your thought processing issues
    finding it increasingly difficult to trust people and evaluate advice/increase in potentially paranoid thoughts
    finding it very difficult to de-stress so you are you seem constantly on edge
    head is constantly thinking and you are unable to switch them off
    beginning to alienate online friends with your behaviour as it makes people feel you are unwilling to be helped when you are potentially too poorly to untangle your thoughts without professional help

    (If anyone else wants to add anything useful, please feel free).

    Ann, I have tried to be careful with my wording, and I really don't mean to upset you with any of it. Please do see a GP.

    No empathy for siblings, one who also has MH illness.

    Twice over the course of her threads she has wished herself an only child as she would get more money and things would be easier, in effect wiping her sisters out of existence for personal gain. The second time she did indicate that this wasn't realistic/ reasonable.

    (I'm afraid I'm not up to the task of going back over Ann's posts to quote!)

    Repeating the same information and worries repeatedly.

    Not listening/ understanding when many posters explain a referral to MH services is worthwhile again due to her being under more strain because of bereavement and stress of recent events. She was turned down 2 years ago but doesn't grasp she'd be going with a new set of circumstances.
  • getmore4lessgetmore4less Forumite
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    A family member(sister) has succeeded in getting help for themselves.

    Ask them how so you can do the same.
  • SystemSystem
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    Does it even occur to you that your behaviour could actually have contributed to your sister becoming so ill that she has had to be detained in hospital?

    Maybe, but I doubt it.

    Since it does not effect her because was not the one who had to leave mum's house as she is married and has her own house.

    It was the well sister who was caring for mum that had to find somewhere else to live because the house was being sold.
    But she has done, she now has a flat.
    Of course the national health service has sufficient resources to keep your sister in hospital in order that she does not pay you your legal rights but does not have enough resources to keep on a mental health worker who could support you - do you really believe this?
    It is so in my health trust.
    I have Asperger Syndrome and MH problems and have no family.
    My CMHT know this but they won't give me a keyworker.

    When they discharged me I have been to a MH solicitor and she tried to get me the support.
    And the CMHT gave me 2 assessments but they still said I am not ill enough to need support.

    Yes I am going though a terrible time here.
    It has all gone wrong and I now face the possibility that I might not get my inheritace.
    And it's worrying me sick.
    But my solicitor won't give me any appointments to see him at the office in person.
    He will only speak to me on the phone and keep me updated with the emails he sent to my sisters about this.
    But he won't see me at the office in person which would have made me feel better.

    I want to tell my Ex-CMHT social worker about what has happened.
    That it's all gone wrong with my inheritance.

    I could go to the CMHT office to try to see her or I could email her.

    But I am worried if I email my Ex-Social worker that the DWP will think I have got the money which I have not and stop my benefits.
    Then what will I do then as I will have no money to live on.


    That's why I have not emailed my Ex-Social worker in case the emails are intercepted by the DWP.

    I don't want to loose my benefits now as I have not got my inheritace and I don't even know if I or when I will get it or not.
    So if they stop my benefits now I won't have any money to pay my rent or anything.


    But even if the DWP did know about this they will see that I have not got that money.
    Because the executors have not given it to me.
    And there is NO WAY I can get that money because Barclays Bank won't release the money to my well sister.
    And my sisters are not going to give me that money anyway it seems.
    That my sister are not going to put themselves out to give me that money.
    I don't trust them and this could go on for months.

    Yes I want to tell my Ex-CMHT social worker of this Hell I am going though.
    She is the only one that knows about mum's will.
    But I still don't think the CMHT will take me back.
    They will just say that my mental state is more of a social problem being caused by the anxiety of getting my inheritace.
    The same as they said when my ESA was reviewed last year and they refused to take me back.

    I think it's nonsense as this IS effecting my MH and I do need emotional support.
    That is someone I can talk to who can help me get through this.
    As I sure as Hell am not getting it from my Solicitor.
    He has no understanding of MH problems.

    If my sisters are with holding my money.
    Or my sister does not get well and this situation continues.
    Then the only way I will get my money is to fight for it, take it to court.

    If my Solicitor won't help me, Then I will have to find another one.
    As I won't be able to go to court alone I would need a Solicitor to do that.

    The problem is that I am on benefits with very little savings.
    I am lucky that my Solicitor does not want any money from me until after I get my inheritace.

    But another Solicitor might want me to pay now and I cannot because I don't have the money.

    So if I get another Solicitor I will have to try to find one who will let me pay him after I get my inheritace.
    And that might not be so easy.
    and if I do have to get another Solicitor to fight for my money (because this one won't help).


    If all of the Solicitors want me to pay first before I get my inheritace.
    I am will be stuck because I am still on benefits and I won't be able to.
    I can only pay a Solicitor after I get my inheritace.
    That is the problem.


    One member on another thread oh here where I posted about this warned.
    That my sister who are the executors could with hold the money.
    And I cannot get it myself.
    So there is a possibility that my sister are doing that.
    My solicitor also warned me of this might happen when the house was stil being sold.
    Which was why he made an application for a UN1 form to postpone the sale.
    Unless my sister could guarantee that they wil hand over my third share to me.
    But the house was sold before my Solicitor sent off the application.
  • AnthearAnthear Forumite
    107 posts
    Annbarbs - the NHS and DWP are two different things.

    The DWP cannot stop making payments to you if you do not have the money.

    Your NHS CMHT cannot give the DWP false information.

    The DWP DOES NOT intercept emails going to the NHS.

    Your solicitor IS helping you, but as you know, there is nothing more to be done at present.

    TO DO LIST:

    GO AND REGISTER WITH A GP

    Stop making excuses

    Contact your CMHT Social Worker

    T O D A Y
    ********

    p.s. I understand that because of your Asperger's Syndrome you see things differently, but PLEASE do things differently in order to help yourself.
  • AnthearAnthear Forumite
    107 posts
    KxMx wrote: »
    No empathy for siblings, one who also has MH illness.

    Please with Asperger's Syndrome have issues with empathy.
  • annbarbs wrote: »
    Yes I want to tell my Ex-CMHT social worker of this Hell I am going though.
    She is the only one that knows about mum's will.
    But I still don't think the CMHT will take me back.
    They will just say that my mental state is more of a social problem being caused by the anxiety of getting my inheritace.
    The same as they said when my ESA was reviewed last year and they refused to take me back.

    I think it's nonsense as this IS effecting my MH and I do need emotional support.
    That is someone I can talk to who can help me get through this.
    As I sure as Hell am not getting it from my Solicitor.
    He has no understanding of MH problems.
    So email you former social worker and let her know what's happening and that you're not coping very well. Maybe send her the link to this thread so she can get a fuller view of the situation.
    Your benefits are not going to get stopped just because you email her, it will be perfectly clear to anyone reading your email that you haven't received your inheritance yet.

    It is not your solicitors job to provide emotional support or reassurance and he has no need to understand your mental health problems. I'm not surprised he won't agree to a meeting with you as there is nothing it will achieve at this stage. You need to stop talking about hiring another solicitor and fighting for your money - you will receive your inheritance but you need to wait.

    You still seem unable to feel any empathy for your sisters or understand that your insinuations that they are trying to keep your inheritance from you is only adding to what is already a stressful time. Just because one of your sisters already has a house doesn't mean that your mothers death hasn't been difficult for her, can you even try to think about how she might be feeling?
  • SystemSystem
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    Annbarbs - the NHS and DWP are two different things.

    The DWP cannot stop making payments to you if you do not have the money.

    Your NHS CMHT cannot give the DWP false information.

    The DWP DOES NOT intercept emails going to the NHS.

    That is true.
    The DWP cannot stop my benefits if I have not got the money.
    If they checked up on my and checked my savings and bank statement they will see that I have not got the money.
    So they cannot stop my benefit.
    They will only stop my benefit after I have got the money-That means when the money is showing up in my bank account.

    But I have not got the money because my sister have not paid it.
    And because of this situation-I don't even know if or when I will get it.
    But if I don't get the money as I have not them my benefits won't be stopped.
    So you are right.
    Your solicitor IS helping you, but as you know, there is nothing more to be done at present.
    Well when I speak to my solicitor on the phone and asked him what he will do if this problem does not get resolved and goes on for months and months.
    He said if my sister does not go to the Court Of Protection if my other sister does not get well he will.

    And if my sister are found to be deliberately withholding my money, then he will take them to court.

    So my solicitor has told me what he will do.
    And even if he saw me at his office in person-He is only going to tell me the same thing that he told me on the phone.
    But he never said he won't help me.
    It's me that is just thinking that.
    As I am looking at the worst side. as I always do.


    TO DO LIST:

    GO AND REGISTER WITH A GP

    Stop making excuses

    Contact your CMHT Social Worker

    T O D A Y
    ********

    p.s. I understand that because of your Asperger's Syndrome you see things differently, but PLEASE do things differently in order to help yourself.

    Yes I have got to get myself a GP.
    Because if the DWP review my benefits which they could do, I will need a GP for that.

    Not registering with a GP won't make my inheritace come any sooner.

    Yes it seems very grim for me at the moment and looks like I am going to have difficulty getting my inheritace.
    And it could take months or even longer.

    So I don't want to loose my benefits too.
    If that happens what will I do then?
    So that's why I have got to get a GP whether I like it or not.
    Because if I don't and the DWP write to me reviewing my benefits.
    It could effect my benefits if I don't have a GP because they will want medical certificates and will also write to the GP for a medical report.
    So I have got to get a GP
    .

    But yes I can still tell my EX-CMHT Social worker about this.
    I think I should do.
    As she may be able to give me some support.
  • thorsoakthorsoak Forumite
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    the law states that someone who is mentally ill is incapable of distributing money that is not their own. Therefore your sister who is in hospital is prohibited by law from signing a cheque releasing your mother's money into your account.

    Just have some patience and hope for your sister's early recovery.
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