Is it acceptable not to wear a wedding ring?

missbiggles1

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'd feel extremely hurt if I were to be looking forward to getting married, only to be told that he didn't want anybody to know unless he told them.

I know that's not the real reason for most men, but that's what it would feel like to me; as though he wanted to keep his options open, whereas I'd be obviously married from both wearing a ring and from changing my name.


I know that it doesn't stop somebody from cheating, but it feels 'more honest' to me.


(yes, I know it's not logical, but emotions aren't logical things).

Why would you choose to change your name?

System

I took my wedding ring off last week. Haven't bothered putting it back on. I don't need a ring to know I'm married.

Only time I felt odd was at my daughters wedding when I was referred to as Hubby's partner by the photographer. Not their fault but mine for not wearing my ring. Mind you he was probably too busy to notice anyway.

tea_lover

If someone's going to keep their options open post-marriage they'll do it regardless of whether they're wearing a ring or not. It makes no difference at all to their intentions.

NBLondon

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I don't need to be "owned" by a ring. Do you know how easy those things remove?

Takes me about 3 minutes with application of soap or washing up liquid to get it over the knuckle.

When me and my friend were in London, we got chatted up by a do called single man....but a quick glance at his wedding finger revealed a tan mark where his ring had been!

Could have been recently divorced or separated - it would probably take months for the mark to fade. Mind you, that could also be a warning sign of what you were in for if you were tempted.

Georgiegirl256

NBLondon wrote: »

Takes me about 3 minutes with application of soap or washing up liquid to get it over the knuckle.
Could have been recently divorced or separated - it would probably take months for the mark to fade. Mind you, that could also be a warning sign of what you were in for if you were tempted.

True enough I suppose.

Definitely not tempted either!

balletshoes

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'd feel extremely hurt if I were to be looking forward to getting married, only to be told that he didn't want anybody to know unless he told them.

I know that's not the real reason for most men, but that's what it would feel like to me; as though he wanted to keep his options open, whereas I'd be obviously married from both wearing a ring and from changing my name.


I know that it doesn't stop somebody from cheating, but it feels 'more honest' to me.


(yes, I know it's not logical, but emotions aren't logical things).

why would wearing or not wearing a ring mean that though? I have a single friend who wears a wedding ring on her wedding finger, it was her Gran's and she wears it on that finger because thats where it fits best, and she loves the ring. As I said before, I often don't wear mine for days, and yes I did change my name on marriage, but we've moved to a new city since we got married, so none of my friends or colleagues here would know that I was married (because they didn't know me by my previous name) unless I told them (which I'm happy to do if it comes up in conversation).
It would seem from reading this thread that lots of people who are married don't wear a wedding ring (both male and female), and some who do wear one are not married.

If the ring, as a symbol of marriage, is important to you as a couple, then as a couple you decide to wear or not wear the rings. Our discussion on that subject prior to marriage went along the lines of (me) "I'd like a ring, do you want one?" (him) "no I don't want one, lets go buy yours". At the time I wore rings, and I loved my wedding ring too. Now, I don't wear any rings.

lavendergirl

I've worn mine constantly for 42 years except odd occasions when the skin has managed to get irritated underneath it then took off for a couple of weeks. Might need adjusting shortly due to it getting uncomfortable due to arthritis in fingers

Gavin83

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'd feel extremely hurt if I were to be looking forward to getting married, only to be told that he didn't want anybody to know unless he told them.

I know that's not the real reason for most men, but that's what it would feel like to me; as though he wanted to keep his options open, whereas I'd be obviously married from both wearing a ring and from changing my name.


I know that it doesn't stop somebody from cheating, but it feels 'more honest' to me.


(yes, I know it's not logical, but emotions aren't logical things).

Thing is if you were really determined to cheat they're easy enough to remove anyway and frankly there are enough people out there who don't care if your married anyway. Some may even find it a turn on. I don't need a ring to keep me faithful.

I also think you'd have less of a case if you were someone who always wore rings. Hard to convince your partner you don't want to wear a wedding ring if your fingers are covered!

I can appreciate the symbolism but the problem is I'd have this thing on my finger I'd hate and frankly I wouldn't want to associate something like that with my marriage. Would much rather keep the feelings positive.

AylesburyDuck

Had an operation a few years back and was unable to get my rings back on my sausage fingers, so neither me or OH have rings now,he got used to not wearing his as it kept catching on stuff.
Not permanent for me, i'm sure they will go back on one day, till then my field of (cares) will remain barren.:rotfl:

BlondeHeadOn

I have never liked wearing rings, just find them uncomfortable, so told OH that I didn't want either an engagement nor wedding ring when we got married. I would never want to wear either, so there was no point in buying them (very mse at least !)

I've been married now for 19 years, and have never missed having a ring. Some people do find it odd, but that's not my problem.

I'm female by the way.