Is it acceptable not to wear a wedding ring?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Why would you choose to change your name?

Why would I want to keep the one I've been lumbered with all my life? It's not even my father's name, it's my mother's ex husband's, which carries with it all the connotations of that particular local family (which I suspect is why she kept it on divorce). It also lends itself exceedingly well to puerile humour, which isn't funny when you are 9-16, but really tees you off when middleaged people seem to think nobody's ever said it to me before and use it repeatedly rather than the correct version.

The only reason I haven't changed it before is that I didn't find one that felt like 'me'. I already use an alternative name for performing and that works for that side of things, but I wouldn't want it everyday.


Anyhow, I'm not going to be getting married, so it's a fairly moot point. If by some miracle, somebody liked me enough to want to be lumbered with me legally, I'd want the rings & surname change. Other than that, I'm not interested in the big ceremonies and whatnot. But those two things would matter to me, and, as everybody else that has posted appears to have done so because they agree with the OP, I thought I'd stick my head over the parapet and say so.

BlondeHeadOn

BlondeHeadOn wrote: »

I have never liked wearing rings, just find them uncomfortable, so told OH that I didn't want either an engagement nor wedding ring when we got married. I would never want to wear either, so there was no point in buying them (very mse at least !)

I've been married now for 19 years, and have never missed having a ring. Some people do find it odd, but that's not my problem.

I'm female by the way.

Forgot to add, we were married in a registry office and rings were not needed for the ceremony - they are optional. I don't know about church weddings though.

firebird082

BlondeHeadOn wrote: »

Forgot to add, we were married in a registry office and rings were not needed for the ceremony - they are optional. I don't know about church weddings though.

We had a church wedding this summer, and they are optional - the vicar asked if we were using them. If we hadn't been they would just have left that bit out.

My husband suprised himself with his ring - he wasn't really sure about it, but he wears it more than I wear mine now! (I take mine off when I go to bed). I wasn't sure about rings pre-engagement wither, but I got a beautiful one made - helps that it makes me sausage fingers look prettier :rotfl:

piglet74

My ex husband loved his wedding ring initially, was always wearing it, admiring it etc.

Then he gradually wore it less, then stopped completely... Around the same time that he started an affair while pretending to be a single man!

Its personal choice, my mum and dad have been married over 40 years, and never remove them. I wear mine on occasion even though I am no longer married, but its not a traditional gold or plain wedding band, and I wear it on my middle finger.

Gavin83

piglet74 wrote: »

Its personal choice, my mum and dad have been married over 40 years, and never remove them. I wear mine on occasion even though I am no longer married, but its not a traditional gold or plain wedding band, and I wear it on my middle finger.

See my parents have never taken their rings off. Logically that should have given me the impression they're important but it just hasn't at all. Saying that me and my parents are totally different people in a number of ways.

Dird

If I got married & my wife said she didn't want to wear her wedding ring I'd beat her with an iron

As a guy I'd also like to wear a ring although I've not worn one since I was like 12

Happier_Me

This is entirely a personal choice and as long as you are both comfortable with the decision to wear or not wear rings then it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

I have been married 14 years now and have always worn a wedding ring although this has been 'exchanged' for a bigger model (my 'pregnancy finger fat' has proven to be very stubborn!). My ring is a visible sign of my commitment and this is important to me.

My husband actually has very strong views on wearing his wedding ring. He will not remove it from his finger unless absolutely necessary. He wears just one other item of jewellery and that is his dad's wedding ring (he died when my DH was a teenager). He won't take this ring off either. So the jewellery he does wear means a great deal to him... and I am genuinely touched by this!

Oops, that last paragraph sounded a bit soppy reading it back.. which is the exact opposite of what we are. We've yet to properly celebrate an anniversary .. that would actually involve remembering the date each year, wouldn't it!

atolaas

Yes, my brother and his fiance are finally getting married later this month after more than 10 years of dating. He's decided that he doesn't want to wear a ring. The most amount of jewellery he's ever worn is a watch. His fiance has an engagement ring and has decided that she will wear a wedding ring. To each their own :-)

dandy-candy

I'm truly amazed at the amount people who don't wear their wedding rings! Really really gobsmacked!
When I was single I certainly looked for a wedding ring to see if a guy was off limits or not.

I've been married for 20 years and very occasionally take my ring off for a few hours when my fingers swell, but DH gets really sniffy about it. He never takes his off even with a physical job and using machines.

I used to know a policeman who said he couldn't wear his ring because it was dangerous in case it got caught on something, but I have seen loads of policeman since wearing them, also builders etc, so I don't know how big a problem it is really.

Gloomendoom

dandy-candy wrote: »

I'm truly amazed at the amount people who don't wear their wedding rings! Really really gobsmacked!
When I was single I certainly looked for a wedding ring to see if a guy was off limits or not.

From reading this and similar threads, it seems that checking to see if a man is wearing wedding rings by men is not a reliable way of determining whether he is off limits, or not. With women, the odds are probably significantly better.

I suspect that is more to do with family tradition than anything else. Generally speaking, going back generations, the men in my family haven't worn rings. In fact, there was some surprise when I had a ring at my wedding. There is the same tradition on my wife's side so she wasn't at all bothered when I stopped wearing mine shortly afterwards.