home life with parents affecting my relationship

trixie73

£250 a month :eek:
I'm thinking I need to put my sons £100 a month board up

Miski

trixie73 wrote: »

£250 a month :eek:
I'm thinking I need to put my sons £100 a month board up

Damn. I think 250 is amazing

I used to give my parents 400 a month before I moved out. Now I think they ripped me off (was still cheap)

VfM4meplse

However much or little it's a question of their house, their rules. A tough but reliable life lesson.

The thought of charging anyone bed and board fills my whole family with horror. My parents never did it, and neither do we grown siblings.

BlackFrosting

I'm gonna break down a few things

My last relationship was a rebound relationship and we are no longer together and I was foolish into thinking i wanted to be with him - I actually didn't love him and was trying to make him happy but it got to the point where my money was all going onto him so i broke it off. It was a really messed up time in my life and i regret feeling that way.

I got a new boyfriend and we aren't talking about moving out straight away, we've both agreed to wait to move out when we've been together a year. He hasn't forced me to do anything everything thats happened has been my choice by staying out late ect.
My boyfriend house shares and have lived on his own for about 3 years (in uni and currently) ,
I do feel like he's the right person because we've already been through a lot together and when we've been really close to leaving we both said that we're not.

I currently have such a bad ear infection thats kept me off work this week and I do also have hearing problems.

The thing is, my parents think it's my boyfriend driving me away from them when actually it's them and my friend pretty much went behind my back instead of asking me what was going on, but she chose to take everything out of proportion and twisted things a little...

I've always had to ask if its okay to do stuff because when I've done things off my own back,
I used to get shouted at and was never really allowed to be independent.

Even today, I said even if i'm still in pain with my ear I'm still staying over my boyfriends because I'd
like to see him and not be stuck in house all day. When I said this to mum yesterday she was absolutely fine with it, today. It's "Okay whatever its your choice you're not going to listen to me so why bother". I just feel like one minute shes fine then the next, shes not.

I spoke to my parents about moving out last night,
and they said I ave 6 months to start saving properly and that they will help me to become more independent...

Tor_Brexit

BlackFrosting wrote: »

My last relationship was a rebound relationship and we are no longer together and I was foolish into thinking i wanted to be with him - I actually didn't love him and was trying to make him happy but it got to the point where my money was all going onto him so i broke it off. It was a really messed up time in my life and i regret feeling that way.
.

I dont think you should be calling a few dates a "relationship" it isnt.

Mojisola

BlackFrosting wrote: »

I spoke to my parents about moving out last night,
and they said I ave 6 months to start saving properly and that they will help me to become more independent...

They could help you to become more independent now by treating you as an adult.

While you might appreciate their help in moving out (especially if it's financial), think carefully before accepting it if it comes with strings -
"Of course, we'll pay your deposit but you don't want to live in that place you've chosen, we've found somewhere else you should live" and so on.

King_Nothing

Can't believe the people touting the old "their house, their rules" line, I can understand if they're saying stuff like; "if you use the last of the milk replace it", or; "no having your mates round drinking till 3am", but saying to a 22 year old woman that she's not allowed to talk to someone on her phone after 10pm, not allowed to come and go as she wants, and not allowed to see someone on a Monday if they saw them on the weekend. Do you not think that's incredibly overbearing and manipulative?

Rainbowgirl84

King_Nothing wrote: »

Can't believe the people touting the old "their house, their rules" line, I can understand if they're saying stuff like; "if you use the last of the milk replace it", or; "no having your mates round drinking till 3am", but saying to a 22 year old woman that she's not allowed to talk to someone on her phone after 10pm, not allowed to come and go as she wants, and not allowed to see someone on a Monday if they saw them on the weekend. Do you not think that's incredibly overbearing and manipulative?

On the face of it I'd tend to agree but I think there is more to the 'story' than the OP has divulged.

missbiggles1

trixie73 wrote: »

£250 a month :eek:
I'm thinking I need to put my sons £100 a month board up

I think £250 a month's a minimum if someone's working full time - anything else is a bit of an insult.

BlackFrosting

Rainbowgirl84 wrote: »

On the face of it I'd tend to agree but I think there is more to the 'story' than the OP has divulged.

What would you like to know, I'm an open book and willing to share exactly what is going on.

Tor_Brexit wrote: »

I dont think you should be calling a few dates a "relationship" it isnt.

We were together 6 months actually and also yeah I'd never call a few dates a relationship until its a mutual feeling or when i've been asked to go official.
I've dated my current boyfriend a good month before making it official - he asked.