home life with parents affecting my relationship

Tigsteroonie

Oh dear, OP, this all sounds terribly familiar. It was 25 years ago in my case so age 21 (£100/m rent), my curfew was 10pm (stretched to 11pm on the weekend) but the resentment, the snide comments, the lack of trust/belief in me ... so familiar. And I was made to feel so guilty, like it was my fault that I wanted to have an adult life that was independent of them. It was almost as if they were scared of having a home without me there.

I ended up walking out one Friday night to go and see my boyfriend, with two pairs of clean knickers in my bag, and never lived at my parents again. Fortunately my boyfriend had his own house and was very accommodating (without any pressure).

You have to move out - not necessarily with your boyfriend (mine was rather like running away!) - but you need to get that independence from your parents, you won't survive much longer under that regime. You'll either flip out like I did, or end up sacrificing your life to suit them.

I wish you all the best. I've been there. And I've vowed never to be that controlling to others.

BlackFrosting

Prinzessilein wrote: »

Accord to the initial post, the OP is 22 (albeit a 'young' 22)...is working (boyfriend earns more...implies they are earning too?)...pays £250 a month to parents (again suggest working as HB would not be paid to someone living with parents?)....and after less than 2 months trusts their boyfriend more than they do their parents.

This thread has the potential to run and run!!!

Personally, I would simply say "their house.....their rules"

I am 22 my mum described me in that way because I'm not independent and relies on her, but im not actually "allowed" to be independent ...

I work in a nursery caring for babies full time

I trust my boyfriend more because I know what my parents are like and for the past year it hasn't been enjoyable living at home. and my parents are really sly about a lot of things.

blink18

grow a back bone and stop being the door mat that your parents treat you as.

They clearly hate their lives and are taking that frustration on on you.

[Deleted User]

trollopscarletwoman wrote: »

Who cares.

Entertainment is just that.

I was just curious as this stuff about "Today my mum read these messages" and "my mum is super sly" maker her sound about 14, not 22.

I'm with the "their gaff, their rules theory", for what it's worth. TBH it sounds more like the OP is hoping for ammo from MSE-ers here to wave in her mum's face than a genuine request for views. All IMO, of course:)

WR

Dill

Prinzessilein wrote: »

This thread has the potential to run and run!!!

trollopscarletwoman wrote: »

Hopefully..... that's why I like them.

You should get on over to the Marriages board..

Plenty of similar threads and yes they do run and run :rotfl:

balletshoes

you're 22 and you're working, and you want to be independent. So if your parents home isn't right for you now, start looking for somewhere else to live, so you can be independent, so you can live your own life.

pollypenny

For goodness sake, you're an adult, contributing a fair amount to the family budget.

Find a house share if you don't want to move in with boy friend.

barbiedoll

Put a password lock on your phone.

Get another job.

Move out.

(These can be done in whatever order you like)

[Deleted User]

£250 a month is an absolute bargain. I take it that is inclusive of all bills, food, gas and electric, council tax. If you move out to private accommodation that £250 will possibly treble. Keep telling yourself that its cheap "digs " and keep saving your money. Your Mum must be a bit old fashioned with all these rules and times to be in tucked up in your bed like a kid of 12 !

Marvel1

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Is this the same boyfriend yuo had in January that you were planning a life with ... he was on JSA at the time.

The post says only been together for 2 months.