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How do i keep everyone happy?

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Comments

  • AylesburyDuck
    AylesburyDuck Posts: 939 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts
    must_try_harder wrote: »
    But she’s not going to be travelling and retiring early on her own. OP has said they really enjoy travelling and maybe the wife genuinely thinks it would make the OP happier if he had more money to spend on the things that make them both happy, rather than him spending that money covering the living costs of people who can’t even be bothered to contribute £16 each a week for their house.

    She was happy enough when she thought they were receiving £217 a month on a property they could be renting out for £600. So she’s hardly a money grabbing cow!
    Again, seems totally reasonable...........
    untill you factor in that his actions speak volumes. If it genuinly would have made him happier then thats exactly what he would have done.
    He didnt!
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    AylesburyDuck wrote: »
    When put like that it doesnt sound unreasonable...............
    untill however you factor in she would be happy enough to see her partners family on the street so they could retire.
    He clearly by his actions is against this, right or wrongly his feeling need to be considered and NOT just hers.
    She should have her own way at the sake of his health?
    Thats not a marriage.:naughty:

    If they don't want to be on the street they will have to pay their way like the rest of us.
  • AylesburyDuck
    AylesburyDuck Posts: 939 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts
    tea_lover wrote: »
    If they don't want to be on the street they will have to pay their way like the rest of us.
    And i dont disagree, i think i stated that in my first post in this thread. :eek:
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,466 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    tea_lover wrote: »
    If they don't want to be on the street they will have to pay their way like the rest of us.

    Agree, but it should be up to the OP to decide if he wants them to pay rent or not.
  • must_try_harder_2
    must_try_harder_2 Posts: 188 Forumite
    AylesburyDuck wrote: »
    Again, seems totally reasonable...........
    untill you factor in that his actions speak volumes. If it genuinely would have made him happier then thats exactly what he would have done.
    He didnt!

    That's not true for a lot of people, though. People do things, or go along with things, they are not happy about as it's the easiest option.

    OP may just have not wanted the confrontation with his family.
  • paddy's_mum
    paddy's_mum Posts: 3,977 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    FBaby wrote: »
    from my perspective, your wife is disrespecting you by not accepting your decision

    Aw, shucks folks - give the lady a break. She only found out about all this LAST WEEK and you're all expecting her to have got her head around the issue in a few days!

    Those of you who have experienced, and perhaps more importantly survived, massive shocks, shake-ups, disloyalties, disasters - can you honestly say that you had it all straight in your head, a cool plan of action for the future and successfully dealt with whatever sense of betrayal or hurt you had in less than, what, 10 days?

    Her faith in her husband's loyalty and honesty will have been dealt a massive blow and I defy any woman with a heart to have recovered from that kind of 'infidelity' or 'treachery' at the wave of a magic wand of peace and love.
  • AylesburyDuck
    AylesburyDuck Posts: 939 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts
    must_try_harder wrote: »
    That's not true for a lot of people, though. People do things, or go along with things, they are not happy about as it's the easiest option.

    OP may just have not wanted the confrontation with his family.
    But just inadvertantly wanting an even bigger confrontation with his wife?
    I think we have to credit the OP for having some sense, something which some posters seem to be forgetting.:eek:
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
  • AylesburyDuck
    AylesburyDuck Posts: 939 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts
    paddy's_mum wrote: »
    Aw, shucks folks - give the lady a break. She only found out about all this LAST WEEK and you're all expecting her to have got her head around the issue in a few days!

    Those of you who have experienced, and perhaps more importantly survived, massive shocks, shake-ups, disloyalties, disasters - can you honestly say that you had it all straight in your head, a cool plan of action for the future and successfully dealt with whatever sense of betrayal or hurt you had in less than, what, 10 days?

    Her faith in her husband's loyalty and honesty will have been dealt a massive blow and I defy any woman with a heart to have recovered from that kind of 'infidelity' or 'treachery' at the wave of a magic wand of peace and love.
    We've leapt to infidelity and treachery now? When did that happen.:eek:
    Perspective please!:rotfl:
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
  • paddy's_mum
    paddy's_mum Posts: 3,977 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    AylesburyDuck wrote: »
    We've leapt to infidelity and treachery now? When did that happen.:eek:
    Perspective please!:rotfl:

    I put those words into apostrophes to indicate that they are not accusations but likely how the wife might feel.

    Infidelity does not have only the narrow meaning of adultery/an affair etc. Most dictionaries define it as disloyalty, deception, duplicity, falseness and I believe we can safely say the OP has done that! ;)
  • AylesburyDuck
    AylesburyDuck Posts: 939 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts
    paddy's_mum wrote: »
    I put those words into apostrophes to indicate that they are not accusations but likely how the wife might feel.

    Infidelity does not have only the narrow meaning of adultery/an affair etc. Most dictionaries define it as disloyalty, deception, duplicity, falseness and I believe we can safely say the OP has done that! ;)
    I can only agree to a point im afraid, had the wife been totally blameless and fully supportive i'd maybe have felt differently
    Alas :think::o
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
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