How do i keep everyone happy?

FBaby

I think you should actually feel proud of you for having a kind heart and not making decisions purely on the basis what's in it for you. I think this has become a very rare quality, so again, I think your wife is extremely lucky to have such a generous husband.

clairec79

Piggyplank wrote: »

I’m going to give them my ideas and ask what they think should happen

We carry on as we are

Wife rightly blames me for not standing up for myself and both her and me both resent the situation. Something could happen to dad leaving me with an impossible decision on evicted sister and brother. They can’t get another place as no deposit or rental history. I have to sell to pay off debts.

You decide on paying some form of contribution/rent

You won’t get housing benefit as ‘contrived tenancy’. Same problem as above if something happens to dad. I would also need to discuss this situation with wife as this is her house to. Would need some form of guarantee that payments would be met to plan for the future and a guarantee that I could sell to clear debts when the time came.

You leave and I sell or rent

Up to you to discuss if you all move in together, you can claim housing/carers benefits. Brother and sister would be in a more stable situation if anything happened to dad. They would also have a rental history (references etc.) I could give a percentage of the house sale or rental to dad as compensation for him sharing some of the bills when we first moved in together (either a lump sum or monthly payments).

Everyone leaves and I sell or rent

I agree with dad some form of compensation as above. Everyone takes responsibility for themselves and stops relying on other family members to sort everything out for them and goes their separate ways.


This is going to be without doubt one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and may end up with people hating/resenting me but I think this has to be done. Not sure when i'm going to do this but I think this has to be my long term plan.

Once again thanks everyone for your comments/opinions.

So you are going to give them the 4 options above?
Obviously they are going to pick the one where nothing changes, which will mean you are still in this situation causing you grief

Take the first option of the cards and then ask them - remaining as they are isn't an option