Adult sharing bed with non-relative teen

gettingtheresometime

TheCountofNowhere wrote: »

What is this, some kind of attempt at bullying?

I don't have common sense, even though I already stated that the girls are not at risk, but you ignored that?

Roll on September? Is that when I go back to school, because I'm a child?

Classy.

It's not an attempt at bullying but I think it's inappropriate if MIL thinks it's ok to share a double bed with 2 teenage girls - though if there was a sofa to sleep on I'd be less inclined to think it odd and I, as the friend's mum would be livid.

Also if you have a concern then surely it's better to find out for definite and tell the MIL it's inappropriate ?

TheCountofNowhere

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

It's not an attempt at bullying but I think it's inappropriate if MIL thinks it's ok to share a double bed with 2 teenage girls - though if there was a sofa to sleep on I'd be less inclined to think it odd and I, as the friend's mum would be livid.

Also if you have a concern then surely it's better to find out for definite and tell the MIL it's inappropriate ?

Indeed - interesting that you chose not to defend insulting me and deflected. You're experienced at this.

gettingtheresometime

TheCountofNowhere wrote: »

Indeed - interesting that you chose not to defend insulting me and deflected. You're experienced at this.

I wasn't bullying you and decided to treat that comment with the respect it deserved.

Having been on these boards for a while, there's a correlation between jaw dropping threads and school holidays

TheCountofNowhere

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I wasn't bullying you and decided to treat that comment with the respect it deserved.

Having been on these boards for a while, there's a correlation between jaw dropping threads and school holidays

Your post's only purpose was to ridicule and mimimise.

That's the foundation of bullying.

Next time try to be nice.

jackyann

I think the real issue is telling the parents that the friend would have a separate room.
The appropriateness of bed sharing of all kinds varies across ages & cultures, and of course if something happens unexpectedly (room being unavailable or similar)
So the issue is MiL lying, and that does bother me.
Assuming OP doesn't know the girl's parents, I would keep out of it, but I would note it.

suejb2

As a mum of a teenage girl I would not be happy about this situation. If I had been told that d.d was sharing with the friend then not a problem as this happens on many a sleepover but to find out that d.d's friends mum was also sharing a bed I wouldn't like it and would want to talk to the mum on their return.
Asked my d.d and she would also be uncomfortable with that. I would never share a bed with d.d or d.s friends, most odd I.m.o

Spendless

I find it strange/weird and inappropriate. I have similar issues with my teenage DD and her friend's Mum, though this is sharing a bedroom rather than a bed.

My DD's friend, lives with her single parent Mum in a 3 bed house. Her older brother in his early 20s, yo-yos between living at home with his Mum and sister and moving out into his own place. For some strange reason the third bedroom isn't in use. I've never been upstairs in their house so can't comment as to why, though I don't think it can be in a state of disrepair as the house is a HA newbuild around 2 years old.

When older brother is living at home, he has one of the big bedrooms and Mum and his sister share the other main bedroom, having a double and a single.

When my DD sleeps over, she then has to share the bedroom (she sleeps in the single bed) with her friend and friend's Mum. I think DD is getting too old to do this, she's 13.

I haven't fetched it up before as DD was younger and brother moved out some months ago so I thought the situation would resolve itself, as the Mum then moved into her son's bedroom, but no, he is back living with them and Mum has given him his room back and moved a bed back in with her DD. When I heard I queried why one of them hadn't moved into the 3rd bedroom, but got the answer 'because only furniture for the bigger bedrooms was bought' from DD's friend. However there's a bed that can be put in there even if a wardrobe needs to be shared in another room!

Before long, I am going to have to refuse when it's asked if DD can sleep there and say that I think she's too old to be sharing a room with someone else's Mum. I do not in any way think it is sinister but I don't find it age appropriate.

Has a conversation been fetched up with your MIL along the lines of 'Are the other girls parents comfortable with this arrangement'

barmonkey

For !!!! sake type daughter not DD, it makes it so difficult to read.

suejb2

Somebody's gone past their bedtime ^ ^ ^.

barmonkey

suejb2 wrote: »

Somebody's gone past their bedtime ^ ^ ^.

No, I just hate DD, DS and DH instead of daughter, son or husband. Its just lazyness.