Stil in love but no physical attraction

DKLS

Make a chicken dinner for the pair of you, leave her chicken breast out on the side for a few hours, use in a nice salad with a strong flavoured dressing such as blue cheese.
Be careful when plating up you need some of the raw chicken in your meal but ensure she gets the bulk of the funky chicken.

Oh you will also need at least 4 buckets, plenty of towels and kitchen wipes for the following four days which will be pretty grim, well thats an understatement it will be horrific but effective.

Or you could communicate with her.

sleepymans

oldmanofthesea wrote: »

Normal MO from new user.. well a long time user but new ID for this question.


We have been married over 20 years, and have had our challenges during those times but have always stuck it out because deep down the love has always been present.


Over the last year though Mrs has gained quite a bit of weight. She likes her bottle or two of wine on an evening, the seconds at dinner and generally enjoys her nibbles.


Now I need to be clear I still love her, she can have everything I have and more, the issue is that her new body shape is not "my type".


As such intimacy is becoming an issue.


Because I love her the words "lose weight" will never leave my lips, as she is entitled to be the person she wants to be. But to be with a person without the physical attraction is starting to be challenging.


so I guess the options are; man up and tell her or accept it the way it is.


I have tried the easy stuff, lets go for a walk, swim, etc to encourage exercise, and have tried to change our eating habits. But if I cook something lighter to eat, she is still hungry and nibbles away in front of the TV.


After all she is happy with herself, its my issue.


Any suggestions?

Ask her how she would like you to please her......how you can worship and celebrate her femininity. Ask her what her sexual fantasies are, and how you might fulfil them. Give her a back rub, kiss her all over.......massage her favourite body lotion on her erogenous zones....make her a meal and kiss her feet.
Lick her toes.....in short.....romance and woo her......youll benefit, I promise!!

Mojisola

sleepymans wrote: »

Ask her how she would like you to please her......how you can worship and celebrate her femininity. Ask her what her sexual fantasies are, and how you might fulfil them. Give her a back rub, kiss her all over.......massage her favourite body lotion on her erogenous zones....make her a meal and kiss her feet.
Lick her toes.....in short.....romance and woo her......youll benefit, I promise!!

If my husband started to come on strongly like that, I'd wonder what he'd been up to! It sounds like a guilty conscience trying to make up for actions without admitting to them.

his_missus

IS there a reason for her change in behaviour over the past year? Has something bad happened which has led her to comfort eating or drinking more than she used to? Do you feel you've just become stuck in a rut together?


If you feel it is simply because she's got herself stuck in a rut try suggesting new things to do in the evenings. A lengthy walk to a pub for a glass of wine instead of a night in with a bottle on the sofa. Maybe when you cook a lighter option try to fill her up on veg or chicken, courgette noodles instead of carbs, maybe even eating a bit later so there is less time in the evening to nibble afterwards.


If you think it's more emotional than that, triggered by a loss, stress at work, money worries etc. perhaps she may need encouraging to see her doctor. Are you worried she may be depressed?


She may even be aware she's changed. Has she ever mentioned it herself? Commented that her favourite dress seems tight or doesn't fit anymore? That could be your chance to say, "Let's do something about it then."


I appreciate you feel you should broach the issue, and if you're concerned she's affecting her health, that may be the path to take rather than trying to explain she's not quite your physical type. Please do it tactfully and choose your words carefully. If Hubby told me he didn't find me as attractive as he once did because of my weight, I'd probably not respond too well.


How would you want her to bring up the issue if you were the one who'd put on the weight?

fairy_lights

sleepymans wrote: »

Ask her how she would like you to please her......how you can worship and celebrate her femininity. Ask her what her sexual fantasies are, and how you might fulfil them. Give her a back rub, kiss her all over.......massage her favourite body lotion on her erogenous zones....make her a meal and kiss her feet.
Lick her toes.....in short.....romance and woo her......youll benefit, I promise!!

I honestly cannot think of anything on this earth less sexy than someone asking how they can worship my femininity and licking my toes. If my OH did that to me I would probably end the relationship right then and there and move far, far away.

Georgiegirl256

sleepymans wrote: »

Ask her how she would like you to please her......how you can worship and celebrate her femininity. Ask her what her sexual fantasies are, and how you might fulfil them. Give her a back rub, kiss her all over.......massage her favourite body lotion on her erogenous zones....make her a meal and kiss her feet.
Lick her toes.....in short.....romance and woo her......youll benefit, I promise!!

Are you being serious? That would have the opposite effect on me! :eek:

mikeeboy

Well, this is a bit awkward isn't it. We're not supposed to find our partners less attractive are we as we get older, otherwise we'd all be continuously swapping out for a new 25 year old every few years.

When you settle down you're meant grow old and fat together.

We can't all be like Mick Jagger (yes I do know his previous partner committed suicide ).

By all means encourage your wife to lose weight for health reasons, but otherwise I think it's a bit cheeky. Maybe the OP looks like Brad Pitt, but it doesn't matter really does it.

Make your bed, and lie in it.

Pollycat

fairy_lights wrote: »

I honestly cannot think of anything on this earth less sexy than someone asking how they can worship my femininity and licking my toes. If my OH did that to me I would probably end the relationship right then and there and move far, far away.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Are you being serious? That would have the opposite effect on me! :eek:

Gave us a bit of a giggle though. :rotfl:

fairy_lights

Pollycat wrote: »

Gave us a bit of a giggle though. :rotfl:

I'm squirming in my seat just thinking about it :rotfl:

tea_lover

fairy_lights wrote: »

I honestly cannot think of anything on this earth less sexy than someone asking how they can worship my femininity and licking my toes. If my OH did that to me I would probably end the relationship right then and there and move far, far away.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Are you being serious? That would have the opposite effect on me! :eek:

Yep, another vote here for "that would freak me out". Although I do kind of get the sentiment behind the post... but please don't go straight from stuck in a rut to offering to worship someone's femininity... I can't imagine that ending well :rotfl:.