Stil in love but no physical attraction

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

Do people in relationships have a duty then, to try their hardest to stay looking as close as possible to the way they did when they first met their partner? What if they don't want to because they mature and feel more comfortable looking less perfect, or find that it takes more and more effort as they get older and detracts from enjoying life in other ways?

I think they have a duty to show respect to both themselves and their partner yes. I do believe that people should make an effort for their partner. If you let yourself turn into Wayne or Waynetter slob, then no, that is not appealing in the slightest.

I can't believe a certain few on this thread can't see that?

It's maybe because I come from a family of fitness fanatics, where people take pride in both their appearance, but also in looking after their fitness too, that I can see it from that angle?

Pollycat

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I showed your post to my wife. Her typically unselfish response was that she does it for both of us.

Then as you point out, she's less selfish than I.

Or maybe you have been together less time than me & my OH.

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I think they have a duty to show respect to both themselves and their partner yes. I do believe that people should make an effort for their partner. If you let yourself turn into Wayne or Waynetter slob, then no, that is not appealing in the slightest.

I can't believe a certain few on this thread can't see that?

It's maybe because I come from a family of fitness fanatics, where people take pride in both their appearance, but also in looking after their fitness too, that I can see it from that angle?

I come from a family where Golden Wedding anniversaries are the norm (if they live that long:() and where people are accepted for the person they are, not their appearance - that's where I'm coming from.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Then as you point out, she's less selfish than I.

Or maybe you have been together less time than me & my OH.

But surely you still want to look nice for your husband, and he for you? Or else if appearance didn't matter, then you might as well just throw a bin bag over your head!

I'm sure that even though you say it's just for you, that your husband still appreciates it too? Appreciates the fact that his wife takes pride in her appearance?

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I come from a family where Golden Wedding anniversaries are the norm (if they live that long:() and where people are accepted for the person they are, not their appearance - that's where I'm coming from.

So do I.

Pollycat

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

But surely you still want to look nice for your husband, and he for you? Or else if appearance didn't matter, then you might as well just throw a bin bag over your head!

I'm sure that even though you say it's just for you, that your husband still appreciates it too? Appreciates the fact that his wife takes pride in her appearance?

Of course he appreciates the fact that I take pride in my appearance.
You 'know' me well enough from another thread to know that I wear tropical print maxi dresses & buy quality clothes.

My point was that I do it for ME and the fact that he appreciates that I look good is a bonus.

Sometimes I ask him if he likes what I'm wearing and he'll say 'it looks OK'. Other times he'll say 'WOW! You look great'.

My point is that if he says I look OK but I feel great, I'll not change my outfit.

As for my shape & weight, I really do do it for ME.
I want to look & feel good - and that also means feeling healthy - for ME.

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I think they have a duty to show respect to both themselves and their partner yes. I do believe that people should make an effort for their partner. If you let yourself turn into Wayne or Waynetter slob, then no, that is not appealing in the slightest.

I can't believe a certain few on this thread can't see that?

It's maybe because I come from a family of fitness fanatics, where people take pride in both their appearance, but also in looking after their fitness too, that I can see it from that angle?

I believe, very possibly as a result of my upbringing, that how a person looks is usually the least important thing about them.

Fitness is not particularly related to looks either, lots of people are physically fit and capable without having the stereotypical 'gym bunny' look. A friend of mine is a seasoned marathon runner despite being a bit plump and when I go to support her at races I see many many people crossing the finishing lines who are far from skinny or muscly.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

I believe, very possibly as a result of my upbringing, that how a person looks is usually the least important thing about them.

Fitness is not particularly related to looks either, lots of people are physically fit and capable without having the stereotypical 'gym bunny' look. A friend of mine is a seasoned marathon runner despite being a bit plump and when I go to support her at races I see many many people crossing the finishing lines who are far from skinny or muscly.

I didn't say it was the most important thing about a person, but I do believe that by talking pride in your appearance and having some respect for yourself is important in a relationship.

I agree, of course you see people who aren't the stereotypical fitness types at these races etc, but my point was that I see being fit (you don't have to be skinny, I never actually said that) and healthy and having pride in your appearance as a positive thing, and yes, I do believe that you should make an effort in a relationship.

I nearly mentioned your love of tropical maxi dresses Pollycat lol!

Detroit

missbiggles1 wrote: »

And I'll raise you "Wives and Lovers" by Dionne Warwick/Jack Jones.

"Hey, little girl
Comb your hair, fix your make-up
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because
There's a ring on your finger
You needn't try any more
For wives should always be lovers, too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you
Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off
With your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again
For wives should always be lovers, too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He's almost here
Hey, little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you'd wear to go to the city
And dim all the lights
Pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
Oh, time to get ready,
Time to get ready
Time to get ready
For love."

Sick bucket compulsory.:D

I fold Miss B.
I know when I'm holding the losing hand.

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I didn't say it was the most important thing about a person,

No you didn't, but I specifically said it was the least important.