finding a break up really hard

carlosevenos

yeh. I just have to accept its over as best I can. My mum said she saw her with her new bf and couldn't believe what she saw. Said he looked so run down, and looked like an alcoholic, but he was older. At the end of the day, its not all about looks at all.
But she's moving out with this guy and its only been about 3 months since she left me. I can't believe it. Makes me question how bad I must be. Maybe she just needed someone more mature and jumped at the first chance at that. Can't believe all of this, but I have to move on.
How can people be so cold? Especially as well considering she's sending her dog of 12 years to the kennels, unless we have him.
This guy must be a pretty good shag or something, that's what I can say ;P. This is just messed up. I find it hard to think that I wouldn't pop into her mind from time to time, especially since I lived with her relatively recently for 2 1/2 years

mariposa687

I've been following this thread for a while. Choose to look at it from a different perspective - that she isn't good enough for you. I don't what the connection about the dogs is but you need to cut all contact and tell your mum to stop telling you about her. Don't ask about her, it's much easier not to know. Just get on with your own life, it's never going to get any better if you don't change it.
Also, sometimes people just don't work together and you need time to come to terms with that. Maybe it is rubbish but constantly moping about it won't change anything either.

carlosevenos

I know what your saying but it's hard to think that's she's not good enough for me when I've never had anyone else, and she'd choose to be with a complete scrub over me. I'm not saying I'm perfect at all, because I'm not. Just says a lot about me, how she could move out with someone new straight away. Sometimes I feel like just giving up with everything.

Well my mum was walking her dogs, as my mum cares about animals and didn't want to see them not get walked. That's all stopping now as she's moving out and doesn't want my mum going over there. But because 1 of her dogs, has done a couple poo's in her place she wants to get rid of him before going to the new place, so either we have it, or its going to the pound after being with her for 12 years. And the other dog which will remain with her will be in by itself for like 9-10 hours a day.

I think my mum told me about the new guy, as she was trying to say that I haven't been replaced by someone that great, to try and make me feel better, but it hasn't at all.

I suppose it shouldn't matter that she's moved on but it's messed me up.

I should try and stop beating myself up about this and maybe stop commenting on this, but need somewhere to vent

Artytarty

Hi, I've been reading but not commented till now.
Aren't you so glad to be rid of such hard hearted b!!!! B
If there was ever any doubt, and I don't think there was, just disposing of her elderly dog like that has shown her true colours.
I'm sorry for you OP because you and your Mum are clearly decent people and this elderly dog deserves compassion but could be a constant reminder of the ex for you.
Come on Carlos! Straighten up and hold your head high, she's selfish to the core and not good enough for you.

carlosevenos

I definitely pushed her away with my lack of life skills and immaturity, but maybe I thought she was something that she wasn't. It just seems like a different person now, but maybe she was like that all along and I just was blinded to it.
That is the issue with having the dog, that it will keep reminding me of her but it's a tough situation as I don't want that dog to suffer. Maybe we can organize away to get another owner for him.
It's a shame because that dog thinks the world or her. He would wait near the front door for her to return even when I was at the flat. He'd get so excited when a car slowed down, because he thought it was her, and she'd rather have that dog in a cage, just so she can move in with this new guy that she's known like 2 minutes.
Yeah I should try and stop self pitying and try and move forward and believe there's better out there for me. I just have to put myself out there and not fear it.
Thanks. I bet many people are sick of seeing this thread now.

Artytarty

Nope! Not yet!
You may indeed have been a bit immature and lacking in life experience when you first got together with her but that's not the case now.older and wiser as they say!
Poor dog, he's probs only got a couple of years left.
Maybe you'll give him a home in spite of her, not because of her.
That would be a positive outcome for you both. All these things add to who you are becoming , they both describe and shape your character and I can't see much wrong with you other Than that you HAD a bad case of love sickness!
The future is yours to claim, this will all soon be but a distant memory.
I was terribly introspective when I was young and a bit of a doom monger, drama llama etc! Now I'm not saying you are, but I cannot recommend it as a personality trait.

carlosevenos

yeh I can see us probably taking him on. Just shows what loyalty some people have, she dumped me off, and then dumped her most loyal servant.
Sometimes I wish I could just grab her and snap her out of this, and get the person back that I've lost. Maybe I'm missing the comfort of being in a relationship, but I truly miss her, despite all the things that she's done recently. Just find it hard to think she won't miss me.
Just have to focus on the future, and try not to be all doom and gloom, but it's really hard when you still feel as if you love that person, even though as the days go on I wonder why

carlosevenos

Turns out we're now having her dog of 12 years, as she's moving out with this new bloke on saturday. who apparently looks like a right mess, but i suppose looks aren't too important. She's only known him like 3 months and already moving out, can't believe it.
We're taking the dog because she phoned the pound and they said they'd put him down. She said she'd still send him there, but my mum intervened as she didn't want the dog to die, so now we're having him.
Had no idea how heartless she was. as she'd have her dog put down just so she can move out.
Just can't believe her behaviour with the dog and how she dumped me off and moving out with a guy she hasn't really known that long. It's hard to take, but maybe now I can see her for what she really is.

Artytarty

Well done you and your mum.! For doing the right thing by that poor dog.im glad you can see now what a heartless horrid little madam she is.

carlosevenos

For the most part i've given her the benefit of the doubt, but can't really defend her this time. It just is all so surreal. This isn't the person I remember, with the way she's treated me, but especially the dogs. She's keeping one of the dogs that doesn't poo in the house often. So she's seperating two dogs that love eachother, and the other dog will be in the house on it's own for 10 hours a day. I just wish I could snap her out of this. I didn't think she was so selfish