finding a break up really hard

justme111

Sure problems have to be communicated. Then the other person can decide whether they want to be with one with a problem or not. The issue is not showing or not neediness or problems. The issue is having them in the first place.

carlosevenos

I need to learn from this. I have to stop beating myself up about it and stop thinking about her. Just wake up with that feeling every day. I don't feel like I want anyone else, but that's coming from a place or scarcity.

It's just a big lifestyle change moving home again and losing the dogs.
But I suppose that's life and I'm not the first person to have their heartbroken and been replaced with someone else. It's just hard to believe that it isn't strange for her to never see me again. But I suppose of she doesn't want to see me again that's the way it has to be

justme111

Why are you losing the house if it is your father's?

carlosevenos

He sold it when we moved out, as he's now sharing a house with his girlfriend

carlosevenos

bit hungover today. It's just not the same not being with her. It's hard to think of a life where I never see her again. I just don't know how I'll cope.

Sky_

carlosevenos wrote: »

bit hungover today. It's just not the same not being with her. It's hard to think of a life where I never see her again. I just don't know how I'll cope.

Break ups can be very hard. It will get easier--just take it one day at a time. I still remember my biggest, most painful relationship break up, from many years ago, but now that relationship is just a fond memory. It would never have worked long-term, but it was painful for several months and took me a couple of years to fully get over the relationship.

I found it helps to make changes in your life--something to occupy and fascinate you in a different way. I think part of the problem for me was that I was bored with my life without that relationship in it, so I took the bull by the horns and looked at the positive side of being young, free and single.

I decided to work abroad, initially for an international charity (IVS) and I had a really, really great time for several years. After the first year, I no longer cared if I was single or not--I saw two paths in my future:
1) To meet a 'right' guy, marry and possibly have children or
2) To remain single and have a fabulous life working in different countries

(What was never an option was to 'settle' for spending my life with someone who wasn't 'right' for me. Long-term relationships are hard enough at times, even with the 'right' person.)

I'd just settled on option 2 as my future and started excitedly planning which country I'd go to first, when I met my current OH. Life is a bu.gger at times. :rotfl::rotfl:

carlosevenos

yeh I suppose it'll take time. I suppose in the reality I have nothing else going on in my life, and I don't believe I can get someone else.
I just can't believe she's already moving out with this new guy, after 3 years together. Just crazy how quick she can move on.
I just can't take this pain anymore, I don't know what to do

chesky

Excuse me for asking, but do you work. It just seems that you spend an awful lot of time on here. Sorry if you have actually mentioned this before. I'm sure I have read all the posts but can't remember this.

carlosevenos

yeh I do work, but have breaks every hour. I don't really know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm looking for an answer that is going to make things all better, but in reality there's probably nothing anyone can do or say that's going to make feel better.
I just can't let it go for some reason. The betrayal and the way she's treated me. It still baffles me. Just wish there was something i could do. Just hard as i want to be with her more than anything.

but i'm going round in circles. I should probably stop writing things on here, about someone who clearly doesn't care about me.

i may just have to fake being delusionally happy until i make it

Sky_

carlosevenos wrote: »

yeh I suppose it'll take time. I suppose in the reality I have nothing else going on in my life, and I don't believe I can get someone else.

Then find things to do. You're young and presumably don't have high living expenses. I really recommend travelling, I did that by working abroad, but even a weekend break in a different UK city would help..a change of scenery and seeing something totally new, not to mention physical distance, can really change one's perspective. Honestly, you'd feel so different after a complete change of scene!

carlosevenos wrote: »

I just can't believe she's already moving out with this new guy, after 3 years together. Just crazy how quick she can move on.
I just can't take this pain anymore, I don't know what to do

People do that, unfortunately. It's just one of the facts of life. Best not to take it personally--remember, she would have known that things were coming to an end (for her) for some time, so would have been mentally 'letting go' for some weeks or months. Whereas 'the end' was a sudden shock for you and you are still adjusting to the change. Try to keep busy and focus on getting through one day at a time.