Screwed up big time

Lostinhere

No, I said he changed it to stop me checking up on him NOT that I only use it for that!

Yes I use my eyes and see a car on my drive, I use the cctv to see who gets out of it and where they go (is it next door or over the road or out of reach of cctv) so I can get them to move!

Yes I checked it with dd present why the hell not? And how does 2minutes doing that mean I don't play with her?!!

This isn't about my innocent use of cctv

And yes I have shown remorse, apologised begged pleaded given solutions of repayment it makes no difference!

Yes he is worse than me, he has deprived me of money, computer, happy home. He has been violent to me, the house.

Yes I suggested a contact centre and you all said that was bad (btw phoned women's aid and they suggested it!!!) but I have never swore, called him names,made comments or anything in front of them, he has!

Yes he should leave as he is the violent one and he is the one causing atmosphere and trouble. He comes home and it's a black cloud, comments name calling or undermining me (I say no ice cream and he gives it, that kind of thing), or just ignoring me and causing atmosphere.

I live in fear of him stealing my previous things like he did the hard drive, making false allegations or smashing my house, it's wrong

I dobt see why I am getting picked on and I don't see why I have to move when he has all the money and power to do it and I have nothing

Lostinhere

To clarify I have never checked up in him via cctv or any other means. He changed password to wind me up so that if I wanted to I could never see who came round or if he went out BUT he could see if I went out or had people round. And I'm in the fault because????

Guest101

Lostinhere wrote: »

No, I said he changed it to stop me checking up on him NOT that I only use it for that! - Like I said, both of you are behaving badly.

Yes I use my eyes and see a car on my drive, I use the cctv to see who gets out of it and where they go - Do your eyes not see who gets out, or where they go? (is it next door or over the road or out of reach of cctv) so I can get them to move! - Given that Domestic CCTV cannot record beyond your own property, I'm not sure how you could use it for those purposes anyway.

Yes I checked it with dd present why the hell not? - Because you are dragging your daughter into this self centred petty behaviour. And how does 2minutes doing that mean I don't play with her?!! - Check it once the kids are in bed maybe?

This isn't about my innocent use of cctv - No, it's about your and his inappropriate use of CCTV

And yes I have shown remorse, apologised begged pleaded given solutions of repayment it makes no difference! - If you say so.

Yes he is worse than me, he has deprived me of money, computer, happy home. He has been violent to me, the house. - If memory serves me correctly that was years ago. Controlling the finances after you weren't able to seems reasonable. As for happy home, you are doing that yourself.

Yes I suggested a contact centre and you all said that was bad - Because your relationship with him, is nothing to do with his relationship with the children (btw phoned women's aid and they suggested it!!!) - ofcourse they did.... but I have never swore, called him names,made comments or anything in front of them, he has! - So? Do you think abuse is only name calling and punches?

Yes he should leave as he is the violent one - Was* and he is the one causing atmosphere and trouble - No, you both are. He comes home and it's a black cloud - or he comes home to a black cloud... , comments name calling or undermining me (I say no ice cream and he gives it, that kind of thing) - Hahaha really? That's your best example?, or just ignoring me and causing atmosphere. - Ignoring you is abuse? Get real.

I live in fear of him stealing my previous things like he did the hard drive, making false allegations or smashing my house, it's wrong - It's in your head.

I dobt see why I am getting picked on and I don't see why I have to move when he has all the money and power to do it and I have nothing

You come across as very self centred, always playing the victim, and expecting sympathy.

Guest101

Lostinhere wrote: »

To clarify I have never checked up in him via cctv or any other means. He changed password to wind me up so that if I wanted to I could never see who came round or if he went out BUT he could see if I went out or had people round. And I'm in the fault because????

Not what you said in previous posts!

Lostinhere

Wow you have no idea do you?

Yes he hadn't beat me for 6 years but it was only 6 months ago he smashed and I mean smashed the house up, police called etc... He's threatened to smash my phone, knock me out etc, he punched a window through a few months back and called me a !!!!ing !!!!! in front of kids and neighbour....

I gave you an example of undermining but it isn't just that, if I tell dd not to do something hell laugh and tell her to, no matter how bad it is, if I discipline her he undoes it to spite me, eg you don't need a time out

For the last time, my cctv is legal as it covers the front outside my house and given that the police are aware of it (they copied some for a burglary over the road) and ok with it, there's no issue but yes you can see if people walk left or right or go down the shared steps to next door.

If I am out and return to a car on my drive, as I have many times, I check cctv. Or are you suggesting I sit by the window til they leave?! Rather than knock if it's next door or over the road?!

If a child watches her father ignore her mother non stop, or alternatively call her mother a disgusting animal and shout and swear at her, is that the mothers fault?

I am not playing the victim at all, I begged and pleaded for forgiveness over the debt, nothing more can be done about it
I have never shouted or made comments or anything negative in front of the children

If I want to check my cctv in front of her then why the hell not? Why eould I wait til she's in bed to get the car moved? Don't be ridiculous!!!

Lostinhere

What I said is that he changed cctv password to stop me seeing if he brings anyone round or when he comes and goes. Correct. To wind me up or make me paranoid, and to stop me deleting cctv so that he can see when j come and go or have people round. He wants to control it

I have never checked up on him.

Lostinhere

Controlling the finances would be reasonable BUT he will not give me a single penny to pay the bills or feed the kids!!!! Not a penny!!!!! I have my 137 child benefit to last a month! He won't pay mortgage bills or food or anything

Lostinhere

And no it's not in my head that he might steal stuff, he stole my hard drive with all the baby photos on or did u miss that?

Izadora

Lostinhere wrote: »

If a child watches her father ignore her mother non stop, or alternatively call her mother a disgusting animal and shout and swear at her, is that the mothers fault?

Partly, yes. You can't control his behaviour but you can make sure you remove yourself and your children from that kind of environment so that your daughter doesn't have to witness such things "non stop".

Lostinhere

How? I make sure we are out all weekend but I can't be out every evening too and I can't just up and leave with nowhere to go and no money, and I have no intention of leaving my house