Screwed up big time

Lostinhere

I'm also scared to move 50 miles away because if he did change and we wanted to get back together he would never move in with me because he'd never drive an hour to work so it'd mean a permanent breakup

Keeping_Positive

Speak to women's aid and get support from there. I'm not saying he is abusive as only heard one side but there have been a few reg flags in your posts. Either way the relationship is toxic and should end.

Money not important, happiness is. Your children will be happier not around warring parents. At six your daughter has friends but will make new ones. What's best for you to be able to support them and have support for you.

Lostinhere

No he won't pay the bills. Everything comes out of my account except the mortgage. I have no idea if the mortgage has been paid. He won't let me use the food he buys but the stuff I buy (laundry powder etc) he freely uses! I've been surviving on child benefit and my grandma buying food

pigpen

You know what to do.. you've been told it around 200 times.

You don't have to sort school before the holidays.. I moved my girls in the June and my son 2 weeks before the summer holidays started. She is 6, she will make friends quickly should you move to another area.

Some letting agents don't require a deposit or they will allow you to pay it in installments over the first 3 months.. you may require a guarantor and/or references too.

Why would you want to stay if he owns the house he can wander in whenever he likes??

I'd move back near family if I were in your shoes.

Keeping_Positive

A link that may help.

http://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-women/recognising-abuses/

balletshoes

pigpen wrote: »

You know what to do.. you've been told it around 200 times.

You don't have to sort school before the holidays.. I moved my girls in the June and my son 2 weeks before the summer holidays started. She is 6, she will make friends quickly should you move to another area.

Some letting agents don't require a deposit or they will allow you to pay it in installments over the first 3 months.. you may require a guarantor and/or references too.

Why would you want to stay if he owns the house he can wander in whenever he likes??

I'd move back near family if I were in your shoes.

yep, this is what I would do too, in your situation OP.
Your marriage is dead.

Lostinhere

I haven't got anyone who could guarantor for me, and with no income and dmp with terrible credit rating I dont think agencies would touch me

My sister advised going to the council but they have said if I leave my husband I'm making myself intentionally homrless and they won't house me

I'm actually heartbroken, giving up the security of an owned house done just how I like it to a rented place..,my memories, the kids memories all gone...ten years of being with him all gone

Mojisola

Lostinhere wrote: »

My sister advised going to the council but they have said if I leave my husband I'm making myself intentionally homrless and they won't house me

Have you been in contact with Women's Aid yet?

If you are leaving the house because he is threatening you or controlling you, the situation is different.

Keeping_Positive

Mojisola wrote: »

Have you been in contact with Women's Aid yet?

If you are leaving the house because he is threatening you or controlling you, the situation is different.

This

Have you actually sort help elsewhere?

pigpen

Lostinhere wrote: »

I haven't got anyone who could guarantor for me, and with no income and dmp with terrible credit rating I dont think agencies would touch me .. you and the majority of other people who are unemployed, out of an institution, out of work, etc.. your situation isn't unique.. thousands of others have survived. Anyone with a mortgage can be guarantor.. friend or family.

My sister advised going to the council but they have said if I leave my husband I'm making myself intentionally homrless and they won't house me.. she is wrong

I'm actually heartbroken, giving up the security of an owned house done just how I like it to a rented place..,my memories, the kids memories all gone...ten years of being with him all gone

Memories are in your head.. you have to take that everywhere with you.. you cannot escape memories!

Sticky from the top of the board.. go read.. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1276963

I split with my ex after 22 years.. you survive!