Babies and toddlers - do they mix?

lulu_92

duchy wrote: »

The babies are only six weeks old. I wouldn't expect a Mum with one baby to be socialising that early let alone twins. I'd be letting them make the first overtures when they were ready.

May I ask why?

Dill

lulu_92 wrote: »

May I ask why?

I don't think she'll be answering you for a while..!

Brighton_belle

duchy wrote: »

The babies are only six weeks old. I wouldn't expect a Mum with one baby to be socialising that early let alone twins. I'd be letting them make the first overtures when they were ready.

But if you were really close friends, you would still express desire to meet up as soon as friend with baby was ready wouldn't you?
Rather than radio silence.
I've always got in touch asap after a close friend has had a baby, making it clear I would love to see them/ their baby at time and location of their choice, but no pressure if they weren't ready or in fact not even able to reply for a few days. Friends have always been grateful for the contact but also the genuine 'no pressure, no hurry' offer as well.

lulu_92

Brighton_belle wrote: »

But if you were really close friends, you would still express desire to meet up as soon as friend with baby was ready wouldn't you?
Rather than radio silence.
I've always got in touch asap after a close friend has had a baby, making it clear I would love to see them/ their baby at time and location of their choice, but no pressure if they weren't ready or in fact not even able to reply for a few days. Friends have always been grateful for the contact but also the genuine 'no pressure, no hurry' offer as well.

Literally all I wanted from them.

Brighton_belle

lulu_92 wrote: »

Literally all I wanted from them.

Yes, IMO their behaviour has been really odd, more that of casual acquaintances.

moneypenny21

Haven't read the whole thread Lulu just the firs post but I find going out with a toddler more challenging than I did with a baby. Some of the places my friends with babies suggest going to just mean I will end up spending the entire time entertaining my child or telling her not to do something. The best place we could go to so I could actually speak to my friends with babies would be a soft play centre where I can watch DD and get involved but also chat to my friends. Alternatively at my own house where it is child proof and she has lots to amuse herself with. No matter how many toys I take to other people's houses to amuse her, she inevitably wants to be doing something she shouldn't be so it becomes a chore rather than an enjoyable meeting with friends.

pinkshoes

Hi Lulu! Kept meaning to ask how you were getting on with twins, as mine are coming up to 6 months old now!

Regarding the little car, I had a tiny car to begin with, and got round it by putting one car seat on the back behind passenger seat, and the other in front with the air bag turned off. I then put a single push chair in the boot (double would not fit) and took a sling for the other twin.

I now have a Ford CMax, but the above was fine as a temporary solution. I even got my 5 year old squeezed in behind me!!

Your 'friends' sound like they are not worth the effort. When you have a baby, friendship groups change, so perhaps time to move on?

Hope you are managing well with two! X

lulu_92

pinkshoes wrote: »

Hi Lulu! Kept meaning to ask how you were getting on with twins, as mine are coming up to 6 months old now!

Regarding the little car, I had a tiny car to begin with, and got round it by putting one car seat on the back behind passenger seat, and the other in front with the air bag turned off. I then put a single push chair in the boot (double would not fit) and took a sling for the other twin.

I now have a Ford CMax, but the above was fine as a temporary solution. I even got my 5 year old squeezed in behind me!!

Your 'friends' sound like they are not worth the effort. When you have a baby, friendship groups change, so perhaps time to move on?

Hope you are managing well with two! X

Hey Pink! I can't believe yours are six months old! How is it going?

We're very lucky that we live in town, so the shopping centres, leisure centres, supermarkets, etc are within a 10 minutes walk from us! The car thing isn't a huge issue for me so I'm in no rush to do anything about it, especially as I know I only have two months left until I can drive our bigger car.

I've not really spoken to these two since. The one who apologised asked our group of friends if we could meet up next week, and the other one said she wouldn't unless we went to her house, which is 20 miles away from all of us!

sulphate

Well I have a 16 month old and if a friend of mine had had twins I would be biting her hand off for an invite to visit! I can understand someone not wanting to bring several children to visit tiny babies because it can get loud/the more kids you have the harder it is to supervise all of them, but it's not too difficult on a 1:1 ratio Plus I LOVE squishy newborns!! *coughnotbroodyatallcough*

If said friend wanted to meet at a cafe instead of her house then I really wouldn't mind that either. Even with a toddler it's much easier for me to leave the house than someone with 6 week old twins so I would just appreciate she had made the effort to get out! Yes I have to supervise/entertain him... I still don't get what the issue is!

Tbh it sounds like your friends are just making excuses, maybe time to move on and find new friends.

Congratulations on your beautiful babies! :j

lulu_92

sulphate wrote: »

Well I have a 16 month old and if a friend of mine had had twins I would be biting her hand off for an invite to visit! I can understand someone not wanting to bring several children to visit tiny babies because it can get loud/the more kids you have the harder it is to supervise all of them, but it's not too difficult on a 1:1 ratio Plus I LOVE squishy newborns!! *coughnotbroodyatallcough*

If said friend wanted to meet at a cafe instead of her house then I really wouldn't mind that either. Even with a toddler it's much easier for me to leave the house than someone with 6 week old twins so I would just appreciate she had made the effort to get out! Yes I have to supervise/entertain him... I still don't get what the issue is!

Tbh it sounds like your friends are just making excuses, maybe time to move on and find new friends.

Congratulations on your beautiful babies! :j

Thank you