Babies and toddlers - do they mix?

System

lulu_92 wrote: »

Yes, especially in the three weeks before I gave birth, but all they wanted to do was things I couldn't take part in because I was pregnant (rollerskating and getting drunk)

Not both at once I hope! :eek::rotfl:

lulu_92

rach_k wrote: »

It sounds like a (rubbish) excuse to me. Of course you wouldn't leave a one year old alone with a baby but with three parents, two one year olds and two babies, there would be plenty of adults present to prevent hair pulling/eye-gouging/screeching in the baby's face etc, if indeed that is a problem.

I think I would make one more attempt at arranging something - perhaps saying that X would be a good time as the babies are likely to be asleep then so could be in moses baskets/another room/pram etc out of reach and say that you're really not worried about the toddlers around your babies - but if they still don't want to meet I'd just leave it.

Yeah I was thinking the same. We took the babies to see my cousin who is almost 1 and she was wonderful with them.

My twins (for now) are very content, albeit noisy. At the moment they are in their cot in the next room and they like to grunt to each other but I know they don't need anything from me. This is pretty much what it is like all day. It's only when both of them need feeding that it gets a bit hectic as I can only feed one at a time, but luckily most visitors offer to feed one for me!

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

Maybe I'm getting cynical butI wouldon't waste my energy with them. If they didn't make the effort before you had the babies and now they're not making the effort now the babies are here then they obviously don't care enough about the friendship.

I would be thinking, my friends want to see me and have older children, let's meet somewhere that the older children can play and me and my friends get to chat. I have to say though I meet regularly with mum's with children of all ages and apart from the odd instance of trying to grab my youngest they have all been well behaved. I have had a one year old and although willful, he still understood that you don't try to damage a baby. So for me it lies with your friends, not the one year old's.

This is how I feel. When I was off it was my childless friends who work full time that were coming to see me, or arranging to meet up. Even since the twins were born I've had loads of visits from these childless friends, and even people I wasn't that close to before have been visiting regularly.

I just got a message from one of them, basically saying that her DD is learning to talk so she might wake the babies. Fair point, but why this has only just been communicated, I do not know.

lulu_92

avogadro wrote: »

Not both at once I hope! :eek::rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl: I hope not too!

One of them is obsessed with roller discos.

System

lulu_92 wrote: »

My twins (for now) are very content, albeit noisy. At the moment they are in their cot in the next room and they like to grunt to each other but I know they don't need anything from me. This is pretty much what it is like all day.

They sound lovely, are they boys or girls? (sorry, just being nosey!)

lulu_92

avogadro wrote: »

They sound lovely, are they boys or girls? (sorry, just being nosey!)

Two lovely little girls who love to cuddle each other when they sleep! We've also been getting their first smiles this week! My heart melts when I see them :D

Luella-14_2

I found the same when I had my twins. Existing mothers back off. I mentioned it to one friend several months later. She firstly apologised but then explained it's because she knew her advice / help with looking after a single newborn doesn't work with twins and she had no idea how to help. She's not a close friend now but I do think there's some truth in it. I came to think of it as a blessing: you often hear of new mums getting exasperated with others offering unsolicited advice, i didn't get that with twins.

lulu_92

Luella-14 wrote: »

I found the same when I had my twins. Existing mothers back off. I mentioned it to one friend several months later. She firstly apologised but then explained it's because she knew her advice / help with looking after a single newborn doesn't work with twins and she had no idea how to help. She's not a close friend now but I do think there's some truth in it. I came to think of it as a blessing: you often hear of new mums getting exasperated with others offering unsolicited advice, i didn't get that with twins.

I'm not asking them for help, just to keep me company for a while. We have had the conversation about twins being different to a singleton so they've not offered much advice, although my baby shower present from them was a bag full of what they saw as must-haves, including Infacol, gripe water, calpol, and teething salts, which I thought was a wonderful idea.

I've had no unsolicited advice, because everyone knows it's different for twins.

I wish they wouldn't back off, though. I don't want us to drift apart because I had twins.

onlyroz

Can you suggest something like a picnic in the park? Somewhere easy to push a buggy around with plenty of space to let the toddlers play in safety.

lulu_92

onlyroz wrote: »

Can you suggest something like a picnic in the park? Somewhere easy to push a buggy around with plenty of space to let the toddlers play in safety.

This is a good idea. I live in the town centre and we have a lovely park and ground which are perfect for walks. We've taken their two girls to feed the ducks there before.

It just seems that when I say "we need to have a catch up as I've not seen you since xyz" it firstly gets met with a "yeah!" and is followed by excuses as to why it can't happen, and then they end up doing things just the two of them.

They do say you learn who your real friends are when you have kids, I just never anticipated it would be the two that are parents that would drift away.

Jagraf

When mine was one she never stayed still - not 'naughty' but very very inquisitive and it was difficult to hold any conversation let alone anything else. Mine was the one swinging out of the high chair etc. took all my energy in a good way. I avoided new borns with her and visited friends for a shorter, quality time, without her,while she was at nursery.

Little ones of any age are tiring perhaps everyone is just exhausted x