Babies and toddlers - do they mix?

LilElvis

lulu_92 wrote: »

Well I decided to tell them that I was upset that they hadn't been to visit and I explained that it didn't have to be a problem with their kids meeting mine, and that I never said we had to go to my house. I said that it hurt me that the two friends of mine who should be able to empathise with the struggles of having a baby are the two that haven't shown that.

I was met with very angry and defensive replies. Apparently I am being very selfish and not thinking about anyone else (one was cheated on by her OH and their relationship is over after nearly 10 years...although she is now in a new relationship with very little time between the two. The other has just gotten married). Apparently it's okay that they haven't made the effort because I "have other friends" and my mum has been helping out (might I add that both of them get immense help from their retired parents. Mine help out when they can as they work full time). Oh and it's not fair of me to be upset about anything because my OH hasn't left me...

I didn't get an apology from either of them, just a rug sweeping. I told them I didn't want to talk to either of them for a few days at least until they decide to be better friends.

Today I get asked by one of them to go to her house on Sunday. Even though they know I can't drive there as I'm only insured on our little car that would never fit the car seats in it, and their kids would be there!

I'm so angry about it all!

Are these really the sort of friends you want? Would you really ever feel that you could trust them to be there for you?

It sounds as though your lives have moved in different directions and the friendship isn't strong enough to continue as it was.

Sorry, this must feel quite hurtful but is, sadly, just what happens sometimes.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I'm sorry to say it, but you do lose friends when they become parents. Not all of course, but a fair number. Many just find it easier to hang out with their NCT friends.

I wouldn't bother getting angry; if they are true friends they'll make the effort to visit, if they're not then why waste energy on them?

lulu_92

Oh I know, I think I'm done with them.

They didn't do NCT classes and neither did I, they just live in each others pockets because they got pregnant at the same time.

tea_lover

It's tough when friendships end and change but I think you need to accept that that's what has happened here. They all sound very childish.

Anyway, do you really want to spend your free time recreating a tampax advert??

lulu_92 wrote: »

all they wanted to do was things I couldn't take part in because I was pregnant (rollerskating and getting drunk)

It sounds as if you have lots of other friends, family and support around. Enjoy your beautiful babies and spend time with people who actually care.

Mrshaworth2b

Oh lulu sorry that you wasn't met with warm responses but please learn from this. I wsated 3 years on getting back a friendship only for her to act the same whem I had my second son and I wish hadn't of made such an effort. Don't make the same mistake. Leave them to it and if they make a move then great but something tells me they won't

DigForVictory

I am so sorry you've had all this distress, and I hope you do find more & better friends.

One year olds & babies can mix (I should know, I had 3 under 5 at one time) and it was part of the parenting to teach them how to behave. Yes you can crawl up to the baby, and shake them gently by the foot. No you may not prod your baby brother's eyeballs. Any toy used as a weapon disappears for 48 hours, and so forth.

By the time I was taking the youngest to baby clinic, the older 2 (then 3 & 1) were congratulated on their lovely manners (as well as being cooed over by staff who remembered them).

Your twins sound wonderful - enjoy as much as you can & let the really bonkers stuff either fade or get stitched into a Family Story...

Dill

Don't contact them any more, just move on. You've said your piece so it's not like they don't realise why you suddenly stopped talking to them.

lulu_92

The one who was quieter during the conversation just text me to apologise for her behaviour lately. We had a good chat about it but I told her I'm still hurt so I'll probably not be initiating any conversations any time soon, and she understood.

This whole thing is so immature, these "girls" are actually in their late twenties!

Loz01

People do change OP so don't be scared to just cut it free. Sometimes friends are worth more trouble that enemies! If they're not being helpful or positive in your life, ask yourself what the point of it all is.

marisco_2

They sound very immature and vile. Move on and forget about them