How do i get it through to him??

Rachie_B

miserly_mum wrote: »

How many times does someone ask for help/advice and then totally ignore it before everyone gets a bit fed up with it.

You go for it Sammy-Kaye, let him talk you round yet again, but the next time he lets you down (and he will) don't be expecting quite as much sympathy .....or the next.......or the next.......or........well need I go on

i have to say i agree

but sammy will only leave him when she is ready i guess,no matter what we / anyone says / thinks

Take care sammy
xx

Stephb1986_2

Sammy I've read through all of the thread how many times are you going to go back for his !!!!, have you not had your quids worth on the merry go round hun. You deserve better he's lied to you once whats to stop him doing it a second time?

He's probably promised you all these things so he can have a nice birthday and your giving it to him, I would of left him on his own to stew and gone somewhere nice with your little boy instead and made him really think.

I really hope it works out for you this time but i've got a feeling it wont

Good luck

Steph xx

Lunar_Eclipse

miserly_mum wrote: »

How many times does someone ask for help/advice and then totally ignore it before everyone gets a bit fed up with it.

You go for it Sammy-Kaye, let him talk you round yet again, but the next time he lets you down (and he will) don't be expecting quite as much sympathy .....or the next.......or the next.......or........well need I go on

Wow - 5 votes of thanks. Am I alone in finding this sentiment a little rude, insulting and lacking in compassion for a situation many people find themselves in? Especially the way it is voiced. Whilst I appreciate and empathise with this point of view and understand it is frustrating for people to ask for advice which is then 'ignored', I find it a little harsh given S-K's tough hand in life at the moment.

Help, advice and sympathy do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. AFAIK S-K didn't ask for sympathy, is a very strong woman and will be fine. I really admire her trying to work things out when such a young family is involved. Too many people give up too easily IMO. I admire her for not being too proud and trying to do what she believes is the right thing. Chances are it may well go pear shaped again, but I suppose all S-K wants is to know that she gave it her best shot. I admire her courage. The easiest solution to this was to walk.

Most importantly, assuming no-one on here actually knows S-K's OH in real life, we shouldn't assume he will let her down again! I actually think most people live up to other peoples' expectations of them.

We don't know the full story. Not even the complete one-sided version as Sammy hinted at issues, the details of which were undisclosed.

So I will just pray that HE realises the error of his ways, appreciates what he has in the form of his family and that they manage to look back on this stage of their life in years to come and laugh about their naivety. Isn't S-K in her early 20's afterall?

Good luck.

miserly_mum

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Wow - 5 votes of thanks. Am I alone in finding this sentiment a little rude, insulting and lacking in compassion for a situation many people find themselves in? Especially the way it is voiced. Whilst I appreciate and empathise with this point of view and understand it is frustrating for people to ask for advice which is then 'ignored', I find it a little harsh given S-K's tough hand in life at the moment.

Help, advice and sympathy do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. AFAIK S-K didn't ask for sympathy, is a very strong woman and will be fine. I really admire her trying to work things out when such a young family is involved. Too many people give up too easily IMO. I admire her for not being too proud and trying to do what she believes is the right thing. Chances are it may well go pear shaped again, but I suppose all S-K wants is to know that she gave it her best shot. I admire her courage. The easiest solution to this was to walk.

Most importantly, assuming no-one on here actually knows S-K's OH in real life, we shouldn't assume he will let her down again! I actually think most people live up to other peoples' expectations of them.

We don't know the full story. Not even the complete one-sided version as Sammy hinted at issues, the details of which were undisclosed.

So I will just pray that HE realises the error of his ways, appreciates what he has in the form of his family and that they manage to look back on this stage of their life in years to come and laugh about their naivety. Isn't S-K in her early 20's afterall?

Good luck.

On re reading my post it is a bit blunt, but definatey not rude.

No we don't know the full story and probably never will. So we have to form our opinion on information given to us by S-K

On what I have read on her threads and posts her BF sounds like a waste of skin. S-K sounds like a really lovely, good hearted young woman who tries really hard to make the best of a bad situation. This is (I think) so many posters don't like to be completely honest in their replies as they want to spare her feelings.

I don't think she is brave, I think she is weak (because she loves him) and its this weakness that her BF uses to his advantage. Now does that make everything his fault or is she as much to blame?

Everyone was commending her for feeding her family on £100 per month (Thats fantastic)).But if we actually look at why she has to do this its because her BF has a shed load of debt and spent anything he has left on cars and bikes and himself.

I'm a miserly old bag and love getting my grocery bill down as low as possible every month. But would I want to do it because my OH blew most of his wages on himself .....I think not.

Scarlett1

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Wow - 5 votes of thanks. Am I alone in finding this sentiment a little rude, insulting and lacking in compassion for a situation many people find themselves in? Especially the way it is voiced. Whilst I appreciate and empathise with this point of view and understand it is frustrating for people to ask for advice which is then 'ignored', I find it a little harsh given S-K's tough hand in life at the moment.

Help, advice and sympathy do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. AFAIK S-K didn't ask for sympathy, is a very strong woman and will be fine. I really admire her trying to work things out when such a young family is involved. Too many people give up too easily IMO. I admire her for not being too proud and trying to do what she believes is the right thing. Chances are it may well go pear shaped again, but I suppose all S-K wants is to know that she gave it her best shot. I admire her courage. The easiest solution to this was to walk.

Lunar I think the problem is that people spend time giving advice to others and put themselves out coming back to a thread and asking how the OP is coping to feel that the person hasn't listened to a word they have said. I can see how frustrating it is to be an outsider seeing someone being totally made a fool of, for the OP to then be emotionally blackmailed for the sake of their son to give that person another chance and then be rewarded for their bad behaviour

miserly_mum

Scarlett1 wrote: »

Lunar I think the problem is that people spend time giving advice to others and put themselves out coming back to a thread and asking how the OP is coping to feel that the person hasn't listened to a word they have said. I can see how frustrating it is to be an outsider seeing someone being totally made a fool of, for the OP to then be emotionally blackmailed for the sake of their son to give that person another chance and then be rewarded for their bad behaviour

Scarlett thank you for putting it so much better than I did

CB1979_2

you women are sooooo b!tchy, MMMEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW

Sammy's made HER decision with everyone's input, nothing wrong with that.

just in a few weeks/months time, hope you don't come posting and then get lamblasted with "told you so" posts.

good luck and hope it works out for you & the kid most importantly.

Soubrette

Sammy, I think you are fab

I've read your posts on knitting coats for your dog, trying to cut down on heating costs and thinking about growing veg in the garden. I think you are one of the most kind hearted and resourceful people on this board.

You do what you think is right and if things go wrong then I hope you still feel you can post and 'vent' a bit. Advice is just that - something to listen to and mull over, you're the one that has to make the decision.

Good luck Sammy

Sou

searching_me

sammy i hope what i said hasnt offend you and i hope you know you can always ask for advice... but the thing is ive seen it all before i know everybody is different but i hate to see people wheather they be male or female being taking advantage of... if this guy honestly loved you and was always there and putting you and your family first which ive read you do so many times (your gc is great by the way) you wouldnt be here again and again... you may love him but you have to love yourself and if your allowing this guy to do it again hurt you well... i just think you deserve better hope your ok xxx

miserly_mum

Soubrette wrote: »

Sammy, I think you are fab

I've read your posts on knitting coats for your dog, trying to cut down on heating costs and thinking about growing veg in the garden. I think you are one of the most kind hearted and resourceful people on this board

Sou

There is no denying how resourceful S-K is, but imagine how far she and her family could get in life if she had a partner who supported her in her efforts.

Maybe if her BF grew a set and started contributing financially to his family as we all know he should then maybe S-K wouldn't be scared to turn the heating on this winter.