Spending your life with someone you're not in love with...

fierystormcloud

Person_one wrote: »

I don't disagree that its difficult to start over in your fifties, but she's not dead! She could have ten or fifteen years left in work, longer even, and if she wanted to re-train or have a career change then that would be the point!

And yes, there were people in their late forties and fifties making a big career change on my nursing degree a few years ago, sorry!

Meepmeep wrote: »

When I was studying with the Open University there was a man who was in his late 80s also on my course ��

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Someone in her mid 50s will have at least 12 years of working life ahead of her, possibly even 20 so developing a career at that age isn't unrealistic.

Mojisola wrote: »

Another one here - back in the 70s, my Mum went to college when she was in her 50s and retrained - for office work rather than a 'career' but it meant she got a job and stayed employed until she retired.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It really is true, sometimes women are their own worst enemies.:(

:rotfl: Bang on cue!

OK you guys keep coming out with all your anecdotes, but the fact is that suggesting to a woman of 55, who has poor and fragmented work history, little work experience, and no academic qualifications; that she should start trying to retrain for a new career, and spend time doing a degree (or whatever it is you're suggesting,) with the intention of starting a fantastic new career, is just filling her full of false hope.

By the time she has finished studying and retraining, she will be knocking the door of 60. No employer would touch her; not for a serious position. Someone of that age would be able to get a few little admin qualifications, and get a low-grade office job - at a push - but nothing more than that!

I have seen it happenl I have seen several women do a degree at 45 to 52 (finishing in their early 50s,) and they struggled to even get an interview because of their age! One woman I know spent 7 years doing a psychology degree from 46 to 53, and she has spent the last 5 years working as a carer; alongside people without even a GCSE to their name, and who can barely string a sentence together!

My neighbour did a degree in history, at the age of 50 to 54, and has a job in a call centre! Both these women did their degrees in the hope of finding a new career, and have been VERY disappointed. I can come up with lots of other examples to support my argument if you like, just as you're all coming out with yours!

Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop filling people's heads with false hope.

And as for someone 'doing a degree' at 70 or 80? What's your point?

Did it get them into a flourishing, fully-fledged career with prospects?

No.

Please just stop!!!

Like I said, I KNEW some people would come on here claiming they knew people who had retrained for a new career past 50; even at 60-70-odd!

It's EXACTLY the posters I predicted too! :rotfl:

Enjoy your Friday and keep dreaming.......... I have today off work, and am off out to the beach for the day.

I'll have a good day, because I know I'm right on this, no matter how many anecdotes people come up with to dispute what I say, or how many times people thank someone's post to prove that that poster is more correct than me.

Alikay

fierystormcloud wrote: »

And in the real world, a woman in her mid 50s, who has a fragmented and sketchy employment history, who stayed off work for one and half decades with the kids, and who has no academic qualifications, would not be able to 'get some qualifications and develop a career.' Not in her mid 50s.

A "branching off" to develop an aspect of some skills she already has is definitely possible. The word "career" is also a tricky one, and suggests longevity and progression: Many of us middle aged women would be very happy to find work that is satisfying and enjoyable without necessarily setting our sights on climbing any corporate ladders.

fierystormcloud

suki1964 wrote: »

Flamin hell, where did all that come from????


You are sounding like your SIL :rotfl:

Also bang on cue! :T

Dragging up old threads, to try and bash and discredit people when you have no argument. Classic!

This is why I hardly post on here anymore.

You can't post any views without being jumped on, people ganging up, and then people personally attacking you and dragging up old threads of yours.

Priceless.

I'm done on this thread. It was going well until I had the audacity to say something people didn't agree with.

Ta-ra! :wave:

As I said, no wonder I don't post on here much now, and posters have been driven away.

Over and out. Off to the beach.

tea_lover

FSC - do you think the same about men in their 50s? Or is it only women you're writing off?

fierystormcloud

Alikay wrote: »

A "branching off" to develop an aspect of some skills she already has is definitely possible. The word "career" is also a tricky one, and suggests longevity and progression: Many of us middle aged women would be very happy to find work that is satisfying and enjoyable without necessarily setting our sights on climbing any corporate ladders.

Thanks Alikay. Glad someone (sort of) agrees. A good well-balanced post. And I largely agree.

tea_lover wrote: »

FSC - do you think the same about men in their 50s? Or is it only women you're writing off?

Men too. I have also seen it with men. Trying to retrain at 45+ but not getting anywhere in the career they were hoping for. Occasionally getting employment that is in the field they want to be in, but a low grade job with few prospects.

And now I really AM going.

suki1964

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Also bang on cue! :T

Dragging up old threads, to try and bash and discredit people when you have no argument. Classic!

This is why I hardly post on here anymore.

You can't post any views without being jumped on, people ganging up, and then people personally attacking you and dragging up old threads of yours.

Priceless.

I'm done on this thread. It was going well until I had the audacity to say something people didn't agree with.

Ta-ra! :wave:

As I said, no wonder I don't post on here much now, and posters have been driven away.

Over and out. Off to the beach.

And of course bang on cue you trot out the "posters have been driven away" line


So you throw your toys out of your pram when people give anecdotes of their experience and they are in the wrong?

Why is it your way only?

Just because their experience is different then yours, doesn't make your experience any less valid. There's no right or wrongs

I was going to post how my mum opened up a shop in her mid 70's but chose not to as for me the thread wasn't about retraining, it was about love, companionship, respect

The thread was lovely I thought ( personal opinion only) until you mocked those giving different experiences

But hey, if you want to blame me, go on ahead.

Have a good day at the beach, it's raining here

missbiggles1

fierystormcloud wrote: »

:rotfl: Bang on cue!

OK you guys keep coming out with all your anecdotes, but the fact is that suggesting to a woman of 55, who has poor and fragmented work history, little work experience, and no academic qualifications; that she should start trying to retrain for a new career, and spend time doing a degree (or whatever it is you're suggesting,) with the intention of starting a fantastic new career, is just filling her full of false hope.

By the time she has finished studying and retraining, she will be knocking the door of 60. No employer would touch her; not for a serious position. Someone of that age would be able to get a few little admin qualifications, and get a low-grade office job - at a push - but nothing more than that!

I have seen it happenl I have seen several women do a degree at 45 to 52 (finishing in their early 50s,) and they struggled to even get an interview because of their age! One woman I know spent 7 years doing a psychology degree from 46 to 53, and she has spent the last 5 years working as a carer; alongside people without even a GCSE to their name, and who can barely string a sentence together!

My neighbour did a degree in history, at the age of 50 to 54, and has a job in a call centre! Both these women did their degrees in the hope of finding a new career, and have been VERY disappointed. I can come up with lots of other examples to support my argument if you like, just as you're all coming out with yours!

Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop filling people's heads with false hope.

And as for someone 'doing a degree' at 70 or 80? What's your point?

Did it get them into a flourishing, fully-fledged career with prospects?

No.

Please just stop!!!

Like I said, I KNEW some people would come on here claiming they knew people who had retrained for a new career past 50; even at 60-70-odd!

It's EXACTLY the posters I predicted too! :rotfl:

Enjoy your Friday and keep dreaming.......... I have today off work, and am off out to the beach for the day.

I'll have a good day, because I know I'm right on this, no matter how many anecdotes people come up with to dispute what I say, or how many times people thank someone's post to prove that that poster is more correct than me.

As someone who worked for years as a Careers Adviser with adults, I think my professional experience is more valid than your amateur prejudices.

What's worst is that your prejudices relate not only to middle aged women but also what constitutes a career. Obviously doing a degree or any other qualification that lasts several years is going to make it more difficult (although I've certainly had several clients start nurse training in their 50s) but there are many courses and qualifications you can do in a year that would allow someone to embark on a career lasting around 15 years.

Choosing to use professions like medicine, law & etc. as examples just shows your bias - many people have fulfilling careers outside these employment areas. Thinking otherwise is an insult to all those women (and men) who have worthwhile careers in social care, administration and sales (to name but 3).

cbrown372

fierystormcloud wrote: »

:rotfl: Bang on cue!

OK you guys keep coming out with all your anecdotes, but the fact is that suggesting to a woman of 55, who has poor and fragmented work history, little work experience, and no academic qualifications; that she should start trying to retrain for a new career, and spend time doing a degree (or whatever it is you're suggesting,) with the intention of starting a fantastic new career, is just filling her full of false hope.

By the time she has finished studying and retraining, she will be knocking the door of 60. No employer would touch her; not for a serious position. Someone of that age would be able to get a few little admin qualifications, and get a low-grade office job - at a push - but nothing more than that!

I have seen it happenl I have seen several women do a degree at 45 to 52 (finishing in their early 50s,) and they struggled to even get an interview because of their age! One woman I know spent 7 years doing a psychology degree from 46 to 53, and she has spent the last 5 years working as a carer; alongside people without even a GCSE to their name, and who can barely string a sentence together!

My neighbour did a degree in history, at the age of 50 to 54, and has a job in a call centre! Both these women did their degrees in the hope of finding a new career, and have been VERY disappointed. I can come up with lots of other examples to support my argument if you like, just as you're all coming out with yours!

Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop filling people's heads with false hope.

And as for someone 'doing a degree' at 70 or 80? What's your point?

Did it get them into a flourishing, fully-fledged career with prospects?

No.

Please just stop!!!

Like I said, I KNEW some people would come on here claiming they knew people who had retrained for a new career past 50; even at 60-70-odd!

It's EXACTLY the posters I predicted too! :rotfl:

Enjoy your Friday and keep dreaming.......... I have today off work, and am off out to the beach for the day.

I'll have a good day, because I know I'm right on this, no matter how many anecdotes people come up with to dispute what I say, or how many times people thank someone's post to prove that that poster is more correct than me.

jeez, more rules on this board that I didn't know about, must agree with the OP, no personal anecdotes, don't thank a post that disagrees with the OP, just stop? stop what exactly, posting because you say so? Do let us all know when we can carry on with your permission.

Have a lovely day at the beach, I'm sure you will be back

Running_Horse

Oh well, I tried. Might as well crawl under a stone and give up forever, because everything is bound to fail.

We all of us have struggles and difficulties in our way and life is often unfair. I could bore you to tears with my tough upbringing. But in my experience, the biggest obstacle is that little voice in our own heads that reacts negatively to any positive suggestions, and says you shouldn't even try.

Try ignoring that little voice and make the most of this short wonderful adventure that is life.

AubreyMac

Most friends my age (early 30s) who has degrees/MSC's end up working in admin based jobs. They are asked at interviews why they want an admin job if they have higher educational qualifications.


They went uni as it was the thing to do after college without having any clear plan of what they wish to do with the qualification.


One of my colleagues re-trained to be a social worker in her mid 50's. She didn't expect a career path to open for her but studied out of interest and it lead to a job afterwards. The job is not all it's cracked up to be though but she didn't expect an amazing career anyway.