Spending your life with someone you're not in love with...

barbiedoll

cyantist wrote: »

Me too! Just finished watching American Horror Story where Evan Peters plays a dead mass murderer who rapes his girlfriend's mom (amongst other pretty bad things). It was hard to watch it and not think "awww but he's so hot"

I've just finished season 1 and I was beyond delighted when my son told me that he is in every single series! :j:j
(And he's 29....old enough to be my very young boyfriend! )

Mr Barbie thinks I'm a "sad cow" but he is taking me to see the new X-Men film. And he's well aware of why I want to see it lol!

fierystormcloud

Running_Horse wrote: »

Now the kids are grown up, why doesn't the woman in the OP get some qualifications or develop a career? We're not living in the 1980s anymore.

Because she is living in the real world.

And in the real world, a woman in her mid 50s, who has a fragmented and sketchy employment history, who stayed off work for one and half decades with the kids, and who has no academic qualifications, would not be able to 'get some qualifications and develop a career.' Not in her mid 50s.

I'm expecting some people to come on here now and say their aunt/friend/mum etc got an open university degree at 57 and is now a university lecturer or doctor or psychiatrist! But in the real world, that just wouldn't happen. Not at 55 years old! Maybe 35, but not 55.

And you do know do you not, that women did get qualifications and developed careers in the 1980s?! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

It was the 1980s, not the dark ages!

Anyway, this woman has a job. Did you not read that in my original post? What on earth would be the point of her getting qualifications and trying to develop a career? In her mid 50s........ :huh:

Running_Horse

A lady on my degree course was in her 70s. I changed jobs in my 40s at a company which employs blokes in their 50s. The point is not who has the greatest qualifications or degree, but life is what you make it. Nobody is going to do it for you, so might as well get on with it and see where it leads.

fierystormcloud

Running_Horse wrote: »

A lady on my degree course was in her 70s. I changed jobs in my 40s at a company which employs blokes in their 50s. The point is not who has the greatest qualifications or degree, but life is what you make it. Nobody is going to do it for you, so might as well get on with it and see where it leads.

LOL! I rest my case. :rotfl: I knew someone would come along and post something contrary to what I'd said!

Moreover, you were in your 40s, and your entire situation/work experience/qualifications would not be the same as the woman in question who I have been talking about.

Plus, you simply changed jobs in your 40s, in the same workplace; you did not retrain for a new career in your mid 50s.

You cannot compare yourself with this woman.

Person_one

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Anyway, this woman has a job. Did you not read that in my original post? What on earth would be the point of her getting qualifications and trying to develop a career? In her mid 50s........ :huh:

I don't disagree that its difficult to start over in your fifties, but she's not dead! She could have ten or fifteen years left in work, longer even, and if she wanted to re-train or have a career change then that would be the point!

And yes, there were people in their late forties and fifties making a big career change on my nursing degree a few years ago, sorry!

Meepmeep

When I was studying with the Open University there was a man who was in his late 80s also on my course ��

missbiggles1

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Because she is living in the real world.

And in the real world, a woman in her mid 50s, who has a fragmented and sketchy employment history, who stayed off work for one and half decades with the kids, and who has no academic qualifications, would not be able to 'get some qualifications and develop a career.' Not in her mid 50s.

I'm expecting some people to come on here now and say their aunt/friend/mum etc got an open university degree at 57 and is now a university lecturer or doctor or psychiatrist! But in the real world, that just wouldn't happen. Not at 55 years old! Maybe 35, but not 55.

And you do know do you not, that women did get qualifications and developed careers in the 1980s?! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

It was the 1980s, not the dark ages!

Anyway, this woman has a job. Did you not read that in my original post? What on earth would be the point of her getting qualifications and trying to develop a career? In her mid 50s........ :huh:

Someone in her mid 50s will have at least 12 years of working life ahead of her, possibly even 20 so developing a career at that age isn't unrealistic.

Mojisola

fierystormcloud wrote: »

LOL! I rest my case. :rotfl: I knew someone would come along and post something contrary to what I'd said!

Another one here - back in the 70s, my Mum went to college when she was in her 50s and retrained - for office work rather than a 'career' but it meant she got a job and stayed employed until she retired.

moneyistooshorttomention

Mojisola wrote: »

Like FBaby said - the happy-ever-after isn't effortless - we both do things that irritate each other on occasion, etc, but the connection is so deep that it over-rides things that might split up another couple.

I'm glad to read that - re the instant connection and "there you are" moment. Also other peoples comments of "you just know" as to how they felt.

It confirms that such things do happen and I was right to wait for that - even though the end of that particular wait never did happen for me. Never mind - it's better than having got hitched up with "someone else" en route and then regretting not being "available" should that ever happen...:)

missbiggles1

fierystormcloud wrote: »

LOL! I rest my case. :rotfl: I knew someone would come along and post something contrary to what I'd said!

Moreover, you were in your 40s, and your entire situation/work experience/qualifications would not be the same as the woman in question who I have been talking about.

Plus, you simply changed jobs in your 40s, in the same workplace; you did not retrain for a new career in your mid 50s.

You cannot compare yourself with this woman.

It really is true, sometimes women are their own worst enemies.:(