What age do you let your children out alone?

duchy

A walk along the road together is probably OK (depending on the area )- however not seperately and from the way you've described the walk I wouldn't allow it because of the alley they need to walk down where they are out of sight of houses and passers by.

silvercar

silvercar wrote: »

5 year olds don't need experience of being independent.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

If they didn't, you'd need to still be wiping their bottoms for them!

You are just being silly. There is a world of difference between wiping your bottom and being allowed out on the street.

jackomdj

My children have played in our very quiet close since we moved here when the youngest was 5. Rules at that age were youngest had to come in if she was the only one out. Although they played out on their own I would be secretly watching everything!

At age 9 1/2 I started letting our eldest go to the shop. It is about five mins away, although there is one busy ish road (ie the main one through the estate). First time I stood on the doorstep listening for anything. The first time was because the youngest was ill and we needed a couple of bits!

Last year they started going to some friends house. Eldest was 10 1/2, youngest just over 8. Their mum would message me when they arrived and when they were coming home.

It is all about your children. Not what others are able to do. Small steps to build up what they can do. We have been out walking and seen quite young children without any parents and my children have commented that they are too young!

missbiggles1

silvercar wrote: »

You are just being silly. There is a world of difference between wiping your bottom and being allowed out on the street.

They're both about independence though.

Parents' main job in life is to make themselves dispensible not, as some people seem to think, the opposite.

Jagraf

I don't leave any child in charge of another child. Irrespective of ages. It is not a child's job to be the parent.

missbiggles1

Jagraf wrote: »

I don't leave any child in charge of another child. Irrespective of ages. It is not a child's job to be the parent.

Wouldn't you let your 15 year old babysit your 10 year old for you?

Jagraf

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Wouldn't you let your 15 year old babysit your 10 year old for you?

No - i don't think it's fair for a child to be solely responsible for another child, never have. They are too young to be parents, and if anything happened, imagine the guilt the older child would carry around. You also have to consider accidents, falling out, and the panic an older child may feel. Emergencies, power cuts, or if a parent is delayed. In fact, the older the teen the more distracted they can be, even if very sensible.

theoretica

I believe that responsibility and freedom should be introduced in stages but how much at what age will depend on the individual children, the local situation and the relationship between the kids. Some other things for you to think about are if you will let your oldest make the walk alone if the younger two are not going too, and make sure the other parents knows what you want if they are returning the children rather than you collecting.

Spendless

My two now aged 16 and 13 have had times over the last 18 months-ish, where they've fought like cat and dog. You know what, I still have to leave them together with no adult in.

I don't have a job that finishes at 3pm-ish.
I don't have a job that gives me school holidays off.
I don't have an assortment of retired, stay at home relatives all in good health with nothing better to do than childmind.
I don't have such a big age gap between them that the youngest can still use approved childcare and by the time she didn't need to, the eldest would have matured into an adult.
I don't have just the one child.

They are forced to be into together. They are forced to work it out between them.

Jagraf

Spendless wrote: »

My two now aged 16 and 13 have had times over the last 18 months-ish, where they've fought like cat and dog. You know what, I still have to leave them together with no adult in.

I don't have a job that finishes at 3pm-ish.
I don't have a job that gives me school holidays off.
I don't have an assortment of retired, stay at home relatives all in good health with nothing better to do than childmind.
I don't have such a big age gap between them that the youngest can still use approved childcare and by the time she didn't need to, the eldest would have matured into an adult.
I don't have just the one child.

They are forced to be into together. They are forced to work it out between them.

Being in together is a little different from making the older one responsible for the younger one. there were three years between my and my brother but I wasn't responsible for his care.