What age do you let your children out alone?

pickledonionspaceraider

I hope this isn't going to turn into a 'childhood was better in my day' thread

Mojisola

Whatever age you reckon is safe for your child, don't have them wrapped in cotton wool until that birthday and say - off you go on your own, you're old enough to cope now!

Children don't become capable because of the passing of the years but because they've been the opportunities to deal with increasing levels of independence.

thriftyemma

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. This is what I love about these boards, you get such varied opinions, and points of view that you hadn't considered before.

I hadn't thought about what eldest child would do if the younger ones were to run off, or have a tantrum. It is only a minute's walk, but it is a possibility.

I agree with the posters who said it's not fair to put that responsibility on the eldest. I would not trust 5yo to go on her own, so I shouldn't make an 8yo be responsible for her.

I cannot see the neighbour's house from mine. They turn a corner onto the slightly busier road, and then in to the alley. It is only 10-15 seconds next to that road, but I think it's too much for youngest.

I think the suggestion to walk them to the end of the alley is great. The alley is right at the side of the neighbour's house, and is only 30 metres or so. Once they get to the other end, they can be seen from neighbour's front door. It would give them a fledgeling sense of independence, but still eases my worries.

Thank you all for your input, and varying opinions!

silvercar

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I think that's unfair to call it lazy parenting.
If it is done for the reason of giving the children experience of being independent then I don't think that's lazy.

5 year olds don't need experience of being independent.

1trainer1

only kidding, kids grow up at different ages depending on so many factors and each child is an individual.

Their is no fast and hard rule and instinct is what you need to go off as you know you own children better than anybody else

gayleygoo

My children's primary school allows children to cycle to school unaccompanied at age 8 (though they don't give guidelines for walking unaccompanied), so it seems very odd to me that a 13-14 year old wouldn't be allowed anywhere by themselves (as a previous poster suggested).

Anyway, I live near the entrance of a cul-de-sac and there are quite a few children living round here. Both my children have been playing "down the street" since about age 5, although that's mostly because they had younger children calling at the door asking if mine would come out. I used to walk them to the corner and watch them until they reached their friend's house, but now they're cabable of doing the 50 or so yards themselves. I know some of the parents down there too, so I know they keep an eye out for all the kids, as I do when they are playing up here.

I don't let my almost-9 year DD old go out of the cul-de-sac, mostly due to the several busy roads they'd have to cross to get to the shop or park etc. Some parents do though, I know my daughter is going to be begging to be going with them this summer and I've still not decided how I'm going to handle it!

missbiggles1

silvercar wrote: »

5 year olds don't need experience of being independent.

If they didn't, you'd need to still be wiping their bottoms for them!

culpepper

Not just the worry for the older child regarding the rebellions of the younger ones but there is also the chance that as the younger 2 see the older child as their equal not their elder, they might see themselves as perfectly capable of venturing further alone.
Once when I was very little (about 5 or 6), I saw myself as capable of walking to a friends house after school (I had been invited but they had not come that day due to having colds). I think it was about a 20 minute walk through the park and included crossing a road without a crossing.

Spendless

NotBothered wrote: »

Aged 10, my youngest step-daughter asked if she could go and look at the toys while were shopping in Tesco. I immediately answered "yes, but stay in that area", to which her big sister immediately told me that she wasnt allowed to do that on her own! I asked her why and she replied with "Well, she might be taken!" I replied with "Well I am sure they will soon bring her back when she starts shouting NO NO NO NO!" Younger child agreed emphatically.

I'm with you. Aged 10 and inside Tesco she wasn't going to be picked up and slung over someone's shoulder whilst not making a sound. If someone had intended taking her it would be much more likely that they would co-coerce her to come away willingly by telling them x/y/z

I do think we (as a society) put a lot of emphasise on not letting our children do x unless something happens to them whilst not giving them enough info about what to do should someone approach them. Eg what if someone you know asks you to get in their vehicle? What if someone tells you your parent is ill/injured and they've been sent to collect you? Who do you approach to admit you're lost if you've been separated from the adult in charge of you?

Peter333

If the destination is a five to ten minute walk, with no main roads to cross, then I would allow a child of 8 or more to go there. Under 8, no. Too young. And it's very irresponsible for any parent to allow children to wander off with no adult supervision.

Also, another child should not be responsible for a very young child. (Eg, it's wrong and unfair to make a 12-15 y.o. look after children as young as 4-7 y.o.) It's slack, poor parenting.