What age do you let your children out alone?

thriftyemma

I have three children, aged 8, 6 and just 5. They have recently made friends with children from a neighbouring house. I know the family, the children go to the same school (although different years), have met the parents and been to their house.

I have absolutely no worries about the children being there without me, I'm just a little worried about them actually getting there.

The neighbour's house is less than a one minute walk. About half is on a quiet minor road, a quarter on a slightly busier minor road, and the rest along a wide alley way. They do not have to cross any roads.

I would like them to be able to walk round to play (with my permission of course), but are they too young to walk alone? It's no great shakes having me walk them, but I also think I'd like them to be a little more independent. The children have not been anywhere on their own, they are walked all the way to the school gates, etc. Is it too soon?

I am aware I may be coming across as an over protective mother but my childhood was a bit different. I lived on a private road, with no traffic, and an enclosed courtyard. I was allowed out to play from a very young age, and was allowed to walk a short distance to neighbouring houses. My frame of reference is different to my children's lives.

What are everyone's thoughts please?

pigpen

I wouldnt let mine walk alone.. absolutely not the 2 youngest.. far too young with zero sense of danger and far too easy to be picked up and taken by anyone who decided.

I think mine were about 13/14 before I let them go anywhere alone.. by which time of course they were at high school and walked with siblings or friends. I would still walk my 13 y/o to my mothers which is less than 2 minutes walk on a couple of quiet roads.

My children are far too important for me to take such risks with.. I think you are far from over protective, even considering letting them walk alone is something that would simply not be done here for many years!

Rain_Shadow

When my sons were that sort of age they were allowed to visit their friends houses etc without me accompanying them. They had to walk anywhere between 100m and 400m on a quiet residential estate. I am a believer in giving children a bit of freedom at an early stage.

Rain_Shadow

pigpen wrote: »

I wouldnt let mine walk alone.. absolutely not the 2 youngest.. far too young with zero sense of danger and far too easy to be picked up and taken by anyone who decided.

I think mine were about 13/14 before I let them go anywhere alone.. by which time of course they were at high school and walked with siblings or friends. I would still walk my 13 y/o to my mothers which is less than 2 minutes walk on a couple of quiet roads.

My children are far too important for me to take such risks with.. I think you are far from over protective, even considering letting them walk alone is something that would simply not be done here for many years!

At 13/14 mine were taking a 40 minute bus ride to have a day out in Bournemouth. They did have friends who weren't allowed out of the house alone.


They also walked to school together from when they were in years 7 and 5 respectively. Only a ten minute walk and the schools were next to each other.

thriftylass

You will get two kinds of answers here. Let them out, that's what we did when we were kids. And: don't because they'll get snatched, run over etc till they are 14.

I think it's entirely up to you, you know your kids best. I think it's quite a long walk for the 5 year old and a big responsibility for the 8 year old to keep an eye on the youngest. But then as I said you know your kids best.

Mine are 2 and 5. The older one will probably go and play in our cup-de-sac with the other kids this summer. The 2 year old is only allowed in the back garden by herself. Already they are different. I would trust the older one sooner maybe because he is more cautious whereas DD is already more gung-ho.

fairy_lights

I would let them walk there if they were all together. You could always get them to phone you when they get there to put your mind at rest.

pigpen

thriftylass wrote: »

You will get two kinds of answers here. Let them out, that's what we did when we were kids. And: don't because they'll get snatched, run over etc till they are 14.

Picking up a 5 year old and putting them in your car and driving off is rather more easily done than with a 14 year old.. my 14 year olds tend to be a bit bigger than they were at 5.. plus at 5 they cannot judge distance or speed of cars at 14 they can.

I don't care what I did when I was little that was my parents decision they had to live with the consequences (my dad did once find my 7 y/o brother in the house of a convicted sex offender) but I couldnt live with myself if something preventable happened

My nearly 5 y/o daughter very nearly walked in front of a lorry last week.. I absolutely would not let her out alone.. she wont be any more sensible in a few months when she hits 5 I'm sure.

JimmyTheWig

It depends greatly on how sensible and independent your children are.
I'd say a typical 8 year old would be fine to make that journey on their own, having done it accompanied a few times first.
But I'd say a typical 5 or 6 year old is too young to do it unaccompanied. And a typical 8 year old is too young to be in charge of younger siblings on this walk.

So if they're typical I'd say if the 8 year old is going by themselves one day then fine, but if they are all going you should walk with them for a couple of years.

suejb2

As opinions have been asked be prepared for yes and no sides as is the nature of the beast with posts. However, we don't know how street savvy your children are, the dynamics of the the siblings , elder carefree younger responsible etc. So it will be you call.
My daughter we allowed at eight to walk around the corner to grandparents a distance similar to yours. My son we also allowed at eight years of age ONLY with his now 10 year old sister.

dsab

pigpen wrote: »

I wouldnt let mine walk alone.. absolutely not the 2 youngest.. far too young with zero sense of danger and far too easy to be picked up and taken by anyone who decided.

I think mine were about 13/14 before I let them go anywhere alone.. by which time of course they were at high school and walked with siblings or friends. I would still walk my 13 y/o to my mothers which is less than 2 minutes walk on a couple of quiet roads.

My children are far too important for me to take such risks with.. I think you are far from over protective, even considering letting them walk alone is something that would simply not be done here for many years!

I can't really believe that. How are they supposed to survive in this world in a few years when they are not allowed to go out independently aged 13?

Most kids I know at that age take Buses or Trains to neighboring towns on their own, go to the Cinema on their own etc. Can't be healthy (in my personal opinion) to keep them this sheltered from life.

HappyMJ

I would let a 5 year old walk to a friends house that is one minute away by themselves if I could see the friends house from my house. It doesn't need to be a clear view of the front door just as long as I could get a wave from my child just before they went out of view into a passage or doorway.

I would stand on the front watching them until they reached their destination.