What age do you let your children out alone?

thriftylass

pigpen wrote: »

Picking up a 5 year old and putting them in your car and driving off is rather more easily done than with a 14 year old.. my 14 year olds tend to be a bit bigger than they were at 5.. plus at 5 they cannot judge distance or speed of cars at 14 they can.

I don't care what I did when I was little that was my parents decision they had to live with the consequences (my dad did once find my 7 y/o brother in the house of a convicted sex offender) but I couldnt live with myself if something preventable happened

My nearly 5 y/o daughter very nearly walked in front of a lorry last week.. I absolutely would not let her out alone.. she wont be any more sensible in a few months when she hits 5 I'm sure.

I didn't say let them out at 5. We live in a quite cup-de-sac with hardly any traffic. So I deem that to be save. All I tried to say is she knows her kids best and the situation they'll walk in and only she can judge that. Sorry if that came across as let your 5 year old run around the streets.

Spendless

OP - Can you see the neighbouring house if you stand at your front door or at the end of your drive?

Will all 3 children be going together or separately?

I can pinpoint when I let my eldest out because a park across the road from me was refurbished a few months after his 7th birthday. Though a building obstructs the view from my house the park is fenced off so no vehicles can get onto it. I would let DS play there from the time the park opened. He was checked on every 15 minutes by me and my rules were that he was to only be in the place I'd agreed to. If he was invited by another child at the park to go back to their house instead, he couldn't go unless he came home and agreed it with me.

In addition both my children were given safety rules about what to do if they were alone and approached. We had a password and said that if they were ever told we'd sent the stranger to find them unless they had the password it wouldn't be true. This was amongst other general safety stuff, such as who would they approach if they became separated from me in a shopping centre etc.

pigpen

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I think that's unfair to call it lazy parenting.

not at all, in my opinion (like I said and you ignored) it is.. the OP said she doesn't mind walking the distance so whats the problem? you walk it, they are too little to be out alone at that age. She asked opinions I gave mine. I don't care what other people think, I will still do what I feel is best for my family the same as the rest of you, you can try to make me feel bad, but it won't work, my children will still be fussed over and escorted and collected as long as necessary.

As I also said quite clearly.. legally the parent could be prosecuted if something happened to the children..

The primary schools here will not allow children to walk home from school alone until year 6 (10-11) and then they have to have parental consent.

Spendless

Lily-Rose wrote: »

It's utter nonsense to say that if a child is not allowed to travel anywhere alone until they are 12 or 13, that they will not be able to function as an adult like some people say. The things some people come out with! :rotfl:

They can do some pretty dopey things though. My Niece who was not allowed to touch any kitchen gadget at home blew up the Halls of Residence Microwave on her first day at Uni. She didn't know that 'you couldn't heat a tin of spag bol in it' :doh:

Gloomendoom

dsab wrote: »

But this need to protect kids does seem to be a very British thing. I grew up on the continent, and you were viewed as some kind of "idiot" among your class mates if your parents were dropping you at school aged 7 or 8.

That was then, perhaps not now. I grew up in Britain and was playing out on from age 5 with others of a similar age and doing long distance train journeys on my own from age 9.

But that is neither here nor there.

pigpen

thriftylass wrote: »

I didn't say let them out at 5. We live in a quite cup-de-sac with hardly any traffic. So I deem that to be save. All I tried to say is she knows her kids best and the situation they'll walk in and only she can judge that. Sorry if that came across as let your 5 year old run around the streets.

That little 5 y/o that was abducted and her body never found was also playing in a quiet cul-de-sac.. April Jones.. was that her name? It is always a concern .. If a crazy person is that way inclined they aren't safe anywhere though.. I know there are no more children abducted and murdered now than in the past we just hear about it more with the media coverage.. and I don't think there is a mass murderer on every street corner. Though we have a bail hostel with sex offenders in residence within spitting distance which has made me a bit more neurotic since moving here.. but the age limit was set when DS1 was young.. it would be unfair to change it for the others.

pigpen

Spendless wrote: »

They can do some pretty dopey things though. My Niece who was not allowed to touch any kitchen gadget at home blew up the Halls of Residence Microwave on her first day at Uni. She didn't know that 'you couldn't heat a tin of spag bol in it' :doh:

I badly burned my hand on an iron checking if it was as hot as everyone said.. it was!.. I was 8.. and deemed 'sensible' ..

TBagpuss

I think I'd be fine with the year old going that far alone, but not with putting the responsibility of the younger ones one them.

I also think it's helpful to do it bit by bit - may start by walking them to the entrance to the alley way and watching them do that last bit on their own. Then once they are confident with that, you can gradually increase the portion of the journey they do with you watching but not being there.

I do think it depends a huge amount on the children themselves, you know both the area, and your children, better than anyone, and are in the best position to judge whether they are likely to step into the road or otherwise put themselves at risk. Does being together make them more careful, or do they try to show off?

NotBothered

Aged 10, my youngest step-daughter asked if she could go and look at the toys while were shopping in Tesco. I immediately answered "yes, but stay in that area", to which her big sister immediately told me that she wasnt allowed to do that on her own! I asked her why and she replied with "Well, she might be taken!" I replied with "Well I am sure they will soon bring her back when she starts shouting NO NO NO NO!" Younger child agreed emphatically.

Older child (15 at the time) refused to allow her to go on her own and went with her.

5 years on and younger daughter is scared of her own ruddy shadow, wont try anything new, wont go anywhere on her own and wont talk to anyone on her own!

There was such a "protective shield" round the younger girl at all times - jeez, she was still wearing nappies in bed when I first met her at the age of 6 because "I sleep in Mummy's bed and she doesnt want me to have any accidents!" In my OPINION they have completely screwed her up through their own fears and insecurities and what appeared to be a bizarre need to keep her as a baby!

sheramber

It would depend on the children. Only you know how trustworthy they are individually and together. How well they behave together.

Are there houses on the roads they will walk along?

When mine first went to play at neighbour's house I would phone the neighbour to say they were on their way and she would watch out for them arriving.

Similarly, when they left to come home she would phone to tell they were leaving and remind the to walk straight home.

I would wait out the front of the house for them.

I would consider it possible for the oldest, not sure for the 6 and 5 year olds- it would depend on the children.

I never made my older child responsible for the younger one. that destroyed the relationship I had with my older sister who was always told to look after me when out playing.

If the child was not capable of doing it on his own then he didn't do it.