What age do you let your children out alone?

theoretica

Jagraf wrote: »

I'm sure there are many teens who show a great deal of responsibility for their age.

I just don't think that is their role as a child to be responsible for another child.

if a parent leaves an older child with a younger one, on the basis that they wouldnt leave the younger one on their own, they are by default making that older child responsible for the welfare of the younger one (however it is dressed up).

Why not? Seriously?

Is it because you think the potential worst case consequences of going badly wrong are so bad only an adult should possibly face it?

Or do you think there is a sufficient increase in likelihood of tragedy while a young person is carer which is impossible for the adult setting up the situation to ever limit?

Or because children should never have any jobs, tasks or responsibilities beyond schoolwork?

Jagraf

Similar reasons to why I wouldn't hand a 14 year old my car, let them go clubbing, or stay on their own overnight and a whole host of other things.

thorsoak

This has been an interesting thread, and it is obvious that people's attitudes have changed over the years - and they vary from country to country.

In the US, my 16 year old granddaughter has been babysitting for the past four years - in the state where she lives, as they start Middle School, there is a voluntary babysitting course which the 12 year olds can take - and at the end of it, they will receive a babysitting licence! She has looked after two toddlers and a now 7-year old (she's looked after this little girl from age 3) and this summer will be going to a summer camp as a "Den big sister". This website shows the thinking over there - https://www.care.com/a/how-to-get-a-teen-babysitting-job-1303250846

marisco_2

Have a very open stranger danger talk with them and chat over any other concerns you have about them making the walk by themselves. Then go on the walk with them gradually doing less and less of it each time. You will be showing more and more trust in them and making them independent in a way that should enable you all to feel happy and comfortable about it. The best thing you can do for children is to encourage them to be worldly wise and able to take care of themselves from an early age.

Lunar_Eclipse

Jagraf wrote: »

Similar reasons to why I wouldn't hand a 14 year old my car, let them go clubbing, or stay on their own overnight and a whole host of other things.

Serious question - do you know many 14 year olds?

I have a 14 year old daughter (and a 16 year old daughter.) The 14 year old is incredibly fit and strong physically. She's 6ft, a sports captain at school, smart, articulate and has a calm, joyful presence, as do most of her friends. Yes the boys tend to lag way behind in maturity.

I would have no qualms about either of my teens staying home overnight alone. They are capable and trustworthy. They can cook, clean, babysit toddlers and have better common sense than many adults. A while ago I noticed we were effectively 4 'adults' living together, instead of 2+2. It's liberating.

Maybe this description doesn't fit the 14 year olds you know, hence my question. I'm genuinely curious. Accidents can happen to anyone, but what is it about being 14 that you feel makes them less capable than say people at 18?

Experience suggests to me that most mature adults were mature kids, not immature children who miraculously grew up overnight. Is your experience quite different?

I will say that I have also seen some very immature behaviour from teenagers, so I know it exists. But I also know maturity and ability has nothing to do with age. Experience definitely helps, but having seen adults go completely hysterical at the scene of an accident whilst a 10 year old got on with calling an ambulance and attempting CPR, really hit this home to me.

marisco_2

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Experience suggests to me that most mature adults were mature kids, not immature children who miraculously grew up overnight. Is your experience quite different?

Exactly this

Armchair23

This is one of those discussions that can go on forever.
There isn't a specific right or wrong there are just people doing things in different ways and seeing the world from different viewpoints.

My point of view is that we should enable our kids to become capable, responsible creative adults who can take real pleasure in their lives. Thats pretty much our sole purpose as parents in my little world.

That will mean, given some freedom, there are times when things go wrong, you miss the bus, you get lost , your phone is nicked.

But if you have walked through those possible problems with your kids they will cope. It might not be nice but they will become resilient beings able to make good decisions because you have informed and guided them.

Yup things can and will go wrong and it really doesn't feel good but it 's better IMHO to come across some manageable problems earlier in life and learn from that rather than be cocooned until you're 18 plus and suddenly discover the world doesn't love you as much as your Mum & Dad.

I think we currently have a sense of where danger lies and what is risky largely based on what the Daily Mail says. I'm wearing my tinfoil hat, I should be OK.