What age do you let your children out alone?

Jagraf

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Some people don't think a home is a dangerous place with hazards round every corner. (And I said 15, not 14.)

So what is the point of a child babysitter? What is their role?

pigpen

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Some people don't think a home is a dangerous place with hazards round every corner. (And I said 15, not 14.)

unless they work in A&E and know that most childhood accidents occur in the home.

http://www.rospa.com/home-safety/advice/general/facts-and-figures/

FBaby

Just because some people want a cheap sitter so pay a 14 year old to do it doesn't mean it is correct or responsible parenting.

Unless the teenager actually wants to do it and is mature enough to do so.

theoretica

Jagraf wrote: »

So what is the point of a child babysitter? What is their role?

To stop the younger child getting bored and lonely and turn the occasion from 'my parents went out to have fun and left me' to one where the kid has fun too.

Andypandyboy

I think we would be classed as quite strict parents in that none of my children were allowed to play out unsupervised until they were around 10. This seemed an appropriate age because of the transition to senior school. They had to check in regularly though and let us know where they would be at any given time, no wandering off somewhere else unless they let us know. As teenagers we were stricter as the boundaries enlarged. We had to know where, when, who with and for how long. They weren't left home alone either until they were in their teens. The only people they were left with was our parents.

Back to the OP, I see no need to let them go unsupervised so young. It only takes a split second for something to go wrong.

Jagraf

theoretica wrote: »

To stop the younger child getting bored and lonely and turn the occasion from 'my parents went out to have fun and left me' to one where the kid has fun too.

So they don't have to be responsible then?

theoretica

Jagraf wrote: »

So they don't have to be responsible then?

Responsible appropriate to the situation - not to get drunk, watch horror films, decide to go somewhere else or teach a 2 year old to chop carrots or paint the carpet. I would also add responsible to use the phone if they didn't know what to do.

sheramber

pigpen wrote: »

I don't do that either.. I want to know where my 15 y/o is going, who with, what time they will be home.. we do negotiate on times.. obviously if they are just going 'in town' it is different to a cinema trip. I like to have at least met the friends she is going with too. I have met most of the friends parents too.

I wish my 17 y/o would go out!

My 18 y/o has to let me know when she is going out and what time to expect her back or if she is staying out where she will be (in case she is murdered/missing so I know where to send the police!).. mostly courtesy as in letting me know.. am I cooking her dinner or can I go to bed and does she have her key (to avoid 3am phone calls to let her in!).. I afford them the same info if I am going out, I just think it's polite.. I'm off to tesco do you want anything? I'm doing school run I'll be about an hour listen in case a parcel is delivered for example..

My 20 y/o has never stayed anywhere and his movements are like clockwork.. college and church (there's a girl ).

My 21 y/o who doesn't live at home still tells me where she is going usually. She usually knows where I'm going too.

I really hate to see the 'they are 12 now I've done my bit they can just do as they please from now on' .. parenting doesn't have an off switch!

As long as my kids lived at home they had to tell me when they would be home.

After they left school and were at college/uni I did not need to know where they were going or who they were with but I did need to know when they would be home - last bus, late bus, taxi or staying over somewhere- so I knew when to start worrying

They both laughed at this bit agreed with my reasoning.

Armchair23

It's foolish to think that the day you hit your 16th 18th or 21st Birthday you become magically enabled to make the choices you've become entitled to in any way sensibly.

It's just as dumb to think that you can walk to school at age 5 , 8 or 14 safely. Because there isn't a safe age there's just a safe way of thinking .
So if your kid doesn't know it's home address or how to call it's parents or police it's not safe regardless of age.

But I think its down to us as parents to facilitate 'growing up' making sure we give good guidance not treating every mishap as panic stations and letting freedom and independence grow .

Both my kids secondary schools said they should travel to school on their own, we live in a city and not far away so it was an easy thing to agree too.

Both kids had phones stolen and a bit of gyp more than once. But they learnt how to spot a situation that was 'tricky' and became very adept at managing situations they weren't happy with.

So it would have been lovely if they'd sailed trouble free through life but they have a really good sense of what feels safe for them and look out for and manage risks as they arise.

pigpen

sheramber wrote: »

As long as my kids lived at home they had to tell me when they would be home.

After they left school and were at college/uni I did not need to know where they were going or who they were with but I did need to know when they would be home - last bus, late bus, taxi or staying over somewhere- so I knew when to start worrying

They both laughed at this bit agreed with my reasoning.

I just think it is good manners.. if they want dinner or so I know they are safe.. if they want to stay out that's fine but only courtesy to let me know .. I have text my 18 y/o a few times 'are you dead' ... I usually get a reply along the lines of 'yes I have an ouija app' or 'I'm lying in a ditch come get me' .. we have a shared very strange sense of humour.

I usually ask who they are going with because I'm nosey.. I don't pretend otherwise to myself or them!