Marriage Crisis

Guest101

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Yes, there are various permutations of a separation,

I was just reiterating who the violent party is here. As long as daughter is safe, I don't think money needs to come into it as such

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

I'm sorry but I cant help feel that gender is playing too much of a role in your response.

Is it playing any role in yours, do you think?

Violence in a relationship is always, always wrong, that goes without saying.

I'm going to make an assumption that the OP doesn't feel that he is in any physical danger from his wife though, presumably he is much stronger, and he has not actually been injured by her. He says that he finds her abusive language funny, and he has also admitted to being very verbally aggressive towards her.

Both of them are in a bit of a mess here, it sounds like both of them need some outside help.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Is it playing any role in yours, do you think?

Violence in a relationship is always, always wrong, that goes without saying.

I'm going to make an assumption that the OP doesn't feel that he is in any physical danger from his wife though, presumably he is much stronger, and he has not actually been injured by her. He says that he finds her abusive language funny, and he has also admitted to being very verbally aggressive towards her.

Both of them are in a bit of a mess here, it sounds like both of them need some outside help.

Only on a practical level, ie as you say the OP is in danger of psychological harm more than physical, which I already said.

That doesn't mean that he should be a silent victim, which happens all to often to men.

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

Only on a practical level, ie as you say the OP is in danger of psychological harm more than physical, which I already said.

That doesn't mean that he should be a silent victim, which happens all to often to men.

It sounds here like both partners are being abusive to each other.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

It sounds here like both partners are being abusive to each other.

Not from what the op said

missbiggles1

Guest101 wrote: »

I suspect it was.

It doesn't sound like an accident.

When discussing criminality, I find it useful to have the correct information

Except that we aren't discussing criminality, are we?

Dill

I have only skim-read, but the main concern here is the baby, who is growing up witnessing the two main people in its life at each others throats, sometimes to the point of violence.

(DV is not less serious when carried out by the female, - you do not have to be physically stronger than somebody else to inflict terrible physical or psychological damage).

OP and his wife need to decide together whether to go for counselling or whether to end the relationship.

HurdyGurdy

Andy, you are a victim of domestic violence, now matter how low level you perceive it to be.

You should contact one of the organisations that help male victims of DV :

http://new.mankind.org.uk/ (but quickly, as their funding is about to run out)

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/male_victims_of_domestic_violence.html

for support for yourself.

I agree with those above who have said that you must act to protect your daughter. Your wife sounds to have serious problems over the traumatic birth and really, she needs to seek counselling to help her come to terms with this.

Your daughter will be picking up on the tension between you, and will be affected by it, no matter how much you think you are hiding it from her. You MUST safeguard her. Have a read of "Little Eyes, Little Ears" and see how your child is being affected. It is Canadian in origin and focuses on DV against the mother, but it is equally applicable to DV against the father - and in any country.

http://www.lfcc.on.ca/little_eyes_little_ears.pdf

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

Not from what the op said

Calling her a ***** and shouting at her to f*** off is abusive and aggressive behaviour.

His aggression doesn't excuse hers, or the other way around.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Except that we aren't discussing criminality, are we?

Well I was