large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Spendless

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Doesn't having to go up to the bar each time you want a drink rather negate the point of going to a restaurant? Isn't it easier for everyone to just put in for what they've had?

You can have it served to you at the table. Just pay for it as it arrives. Stops the drinks bill going on the final bill. IME it tends to be people who 'forget' what they have drunk, or how expensive it can be. It was a barman/restaurant owner who suggested we did it this way a few months ago when we were out in a large group.

Georgiegirl256

duchy wrote: »

- I don't see any reason why I should subsidize anyone else's gluttony on a major scale just because we've chosen to eat together. A couple of quid either way I'm not bothered but ten pounds or more- Forget it ! If I want to treat my friends I'll invite them out for a meal and tell them I am paying - but if it's a group meal I won't have treating them foisted on me under the deception of splitting the bill when some people ( always the same people) are ordering excessively compared to the rest of the table.

Exactly. A few quid here or there, not many people are really going to argue over that, but the problems comes when one or two people in a group expect everyone else to help subsidise their menu choices.

People wanting to pay their own way doesn't always just come down to people being short of cash or being stingy either, it comes down to not wanting to have to pay more than they should just because one or two people have ordered the most expensive things off the menu.

I'd love to see if these people that insist on splitting the bill equally would order the same things and as much if they were paying for it themselves.

FBaby

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Most restaurants have quite healthy starters and usually at least one fruit based pudding, so it doesn't have to be as bad as your description usually.

Not in Indian Restaurants! Also, I do have an issue to pay £8 + for a soup (that often comes out of a can) and a piece of bread which I don't really care for, same with a fruit bowl that is made of the cheapest fruits but cost about 20 times what it would do at home!

Just as a matter of interest (and not getting at you) when you have people round for a meal, is that all you offer them (one dish and a glass of water, I mean) and how do you manage when friends invite you round?

That's an interesting point because indeed, the few times we do, I then always seem to have a shock at the cost of it all, because of course, we cater to their needs rather than ours. When friends invite us around, I still ask for my glass of water, and say no to dessert (but make an effort with starters!) but my friends know how I am so don't take offense, as they say, that's more chocolate cake for them! I normally have a decaf coffee though so I don't just stare at them as I do in restaurants.

duchy

Jagraf wrote: »

Of course the opposite is also true if you want a drink and someone else us drinking tap water (not knocking it we do it sometimes) it can spoil it for those people too.

Why does it spoil it ?
This obsession that "You must have an alcoholic drink" drives me insane. I can have a really good night out on water-I don't need to have alcohol (although if I fancy it I enjoy it) every meal out (or in).

No one ever gets snippy because you won't have broccoli but want beans instead or fish rather than steak after all

Georgiegirl256

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Whilst agreeing with what people say about different appetites, I can also see what missbiggles means. I have a friend who always wants a 'small' or 'half' plate when we go out, and 'just a small glass of water please', and while I don't (and won't) say anything, because she isn't doing anything wrong, it does put me off because I feel I can't order what I want to in case she thinks I'm a drunken greedy pig. Pastures New's post above confirms that this is indeed what some people DO think!

Like you say, that's your problem and not hers. Some people have a very small appetite and can only manage a small/half plate.

People should just order and enjoy what they want and not worry about what others might think. Pastures New post I think was meaning that some people go over the top and then expect people to split the bill evenly, which when you've only had a main meal isn't really fair is it?

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

To be frank and honest, somebody ONLY changes from "lovely" to "fat/greedy pig" when they've stuffed their gullet with all the expensive stuff, drunk everything to excess, ordered as if restaurants will all close tomorrow .... then expect ME to pay for that gluttony!

It doesn't cross my mind at all until that point, when I realise that they're taking the p155.

If you want to eat/drink what you like and pay for it - you're lovely .... but when you expect ME to pay for your lavish consumption, then you're GREEDY - and the word fat comes as a complete package with that is it's used to emphasise how pee'd off one is.

I never expect anyone to pay for me. I think everyone should pay for what they have, unless they have agreed differently beforehand, like when I go out with my mother and family members.

But I do take exception to the words 'lardy' 'lavish consumption' 'gluttony' and 'greedy' being used just because someone decides they might like a sweet and a glass of wine.

FBaby

I don't think food is so much the issue as drinks though - most mains tend to be similar in price but the difference between a soft drink or two and a couple of bottle wine is far wider

That's a very good point. Maybe it is a matter of principle but I'm much less bothered with the idea of subsidising a starter than vast amount of alcohol, especially as as I recall, the last couple of times, I ended up picking/dropping off a few of them as the only one not drinking (OH will have one but won't drive if he has any at all).

it does put me off because I feel I can't order what I want to in case she thinks I'm a drunken greedy pig.

I would feel bad if that's how my friends felt going out to eat with me. Thankfully I think I am open enough with my friends that they don't and feel they can eat what they want. I don't judge people having a three course meal, for all I know, that's all they had that day, I just don't want to pay for it!

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I think that those who choose to eat only half the meal shouldn't be so stingy - it's bad enough sitting there po faced with an empty plate while others are enjoying themselves.

So you're saying that people should either eat more than they want to or should be happy to subsidise others? And if they choose to eat less they are being po-faced and spoiling others' enjoyment? And if they refuse to subsidise your gluttony they are stingy?

Not everyone wants to drink like a fish or eat until they can barely move.

We have been stung a number of times when eating out with a couple who have far larger appetites than us. We've had both the "oops didn't I say I forgot my wallet" (after having invited themselves along to our meal out and then guzzling two bottles of wine) and the "let's just split the bill then" from them. Needless to say we stopped eating out with them years ago.

silvercar

Part of the reason you go out for a meal with friends is to enjoy their company, enjoy being waited on and enjoy the surroundings. That people should only pay for what they eat ignores the value of the non-food part of the evening.

SingleSue

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Whilst agreeing with what people say about different appetites, I can also see what missbiggles means. I have a friend who always wants a 'small' or 'half' plate when we go out, and 'just a small glass of water please', and while I don't (and won't) say anything, because she isn't doing anything wrong, it does put me off because I feel I can't order what I want to in case she thinks I'm a drunken greedy pig. Pastures New's post above confirms that this is indeed what some people DO think!

I'm usually the driver so I could not have an alcoholic drink even if I wanted to....my drink is usually orange squash, it's cheap and doesn't cause me problems.

I don't think others are greedy drunken pigs though, I still remember the meals of old when I was not the one doing all the driving when a nice bottle or two were consumed over a meal....

Re splitting the bill, can't afford to do that, I pay for what I or the boys have eaten and drunk plus put my bit in for the tip. If out with my parents, we sometimes do one pays for drinks, one pays for meals thing if the numbers are even. We generally only have one course and between my parents having glasses of wine/rum etc, offspring an alcoholic drink and my squash, it works out pretty even on the money.