large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

susancs

When we go for meals with friends, we all tend to order and pay for our drinks as we go along and then split the bill at the end.

Family, it tends to be different as it could be a celebration and then the person inviting will make it clear that they are paying or that we each pay for our own and towards the birthday person in advance.

balletshoes

silvercar wrote: »

Part of the reason you go out for a meal with friends is to enjoy their company, enjoy being waited on and enjoy the surroundings. That people should only pay for what they eat ignores the value of the non-food part of the evening.

how does it?

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

Ah Pollycat Brits just don't get the communal meal. Chinese, Indian and Thai meals are meant to be put into the middle of the table and shared by everyone. Traditionally you would be expected to wolf down as much as you could as fast as you could before somebody else nabs it first. To me, the idea of going into a restaurant like this and ordering one thing just for yourself is just plain weird and not getting into the spirit of things.

I'm so happy I spend so much time on the Continent where you regularly see 3 generation families and/or large groups of friends enjoying a multi course (even if not everybody eats everything) meal over several hours and without getting their calculators out at the end of it!

Pollycat

silvercar wrote: »

Part of the reason you go out for a meal with friends is to enjoy their company, enjoy being waited on and enjoy the surroundings. That people should only pay for what they eat ignores the value of the non-food part of the evening.

I agree with balletshoes. How does it?

I can see there is a value in having a good time with friends or family but it shouldn't mean that somebody who may be hard up subsidises somebody who is better off financially and wants to eat their way through the menu - not to mention drinking the bar dry.

Shouldn't that person at least pay for what he/she eats?

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

Do I get the feeling somebody has been ordering indulgently for years and expecting others to pay up? :rotfl:

No, if anything, I'm the one who tips most generously.

Fortunately for me, everybody I know has similar ideas in what's involved in going out for lunch or dinner and that's 3/4 courses with wine. That's also true if you invite people round for a meal or go to theirs, it's a pretty universal expectation unless you specifically invite people round for tapas or something similar. Also, unless someone were to choose something ridiculously expensive like lobster, I don't think I've ever bothered to take notice of the price their dish costs, that seems really anal to me.

Obviously different people have different budgets but that influences the choice of restaurant rather than what you eat. If I go out with people who I know are on a tight budget (or when I was in that situation myself), you choose somewhere which serves a cheap set price meal and wine by the carafe, you don't go somewhere expensive and then just eat one course.

You go to expensive restaurants on high days and holidays when you know that you and everybody can afford it and nobody needs to spy on the cost of what others are eating, then you just split the bill and leave a tip. Suggesting going to an expensive restaurant with someone who you know can't afford it is just thoughtless and bad mannered and I don't know anybody who would do that.

Pollycat

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm so happy I spend so much time on the Continent where you regularly see 3 generation families and/or large groups of friends enjoying a multi course (even if not everybody eats everything) meal over several hours and without getting their calculators out at the end of it!

Watching Greek, Spanish, Italian or Turkish familes eating out (in their own countries) it's clearly a sharing type of occasion and very different to what we do here in this country.

No idea how they sort payment out though.

balletshoes

Pollycat wrote: »

Watching Greek, Spanish, Italian or Turkish familes eating out (in their own countries) it's clearly a sharing type of occasion and very different to what we do here in this country.

No idea how they sort payment out though.

they tend to take turns in paying for the whole meal (thats certainly what they do in my Turkish in-laws family).

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm so happy I spend so much time on the Continent where you regularly see 3 generation families and/or large groups of friends enjoying a multi course (even if not everybody eats everything) meal over several hours and without getting their calculators out at the end of it!

Exactly....even quite poor families do this in Spain, and I'm sure in France and other places too. It's a meal, it's available to everybody. But then they don't all have their own separate portions do they, it's all communal and everyone digs in!

Then everybody pays an equal amount for the whole thing.

I must admit, I can't understand why someone would go out for a meal and then have a fiddly little portion and tap water.They may as well have stayed at home, imho. Or these people who are always bemoaning the fact that they could have made 'it' for a quarter of the price. Again, stay at home and do it for a quarter of the price.

Still, takes all sorts |I suppose.

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

Ah Pollycat Brits just don't get the communal meal. Chinese, Indian and Thai meals are meant to be put into the middle of the table and shared by everyone.

Some get if, some don't.

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I must admit, I can't understand why someone would go out for a meal and then have a fiddly little portion and tap water.They may as well have stayed at home, imho. Or these people who are always bemoaning the fact that they could have made 'it' for a quarter of the price. Again, stay at home and do it for a quarter of the price.

Still, takes all sorts |I suppose.

"May as well stay at home"?
Really?
Perhaps they want to enjoy the company.
Just because you don't want to, can't afford to or simply don't have the appetite to eat your own bodyweight in food & quaff silly quantities of alcohol, why shouldn't you go to the party?

seven-day-weekend

Pollycat wrote: »

Some get if, some don't.

"May as well stay at home"?
Really?
Perhaps they want to enjoy the company.
Just because you don't want to, can't afford to or simply don't have the appetite to eat your own bodyweight in food & quaff silly quantities of alcohol, why shouldn't you go to the party?

I didn't say you shouldn't go. I just can't understand why you would want to if you don't enjoy the food. If I felt like that I would rather entertain at home. But each to their own.

I don't 'eat my own bodyweight', but I do enjoy the food and often have a sweet. I don't often drink with a meal because I am often driving, but I have a non-alcoholic drink such as soda with ice and lemon, to make it a bit special, not just tap water. I don't see any point in going and then picking at the food and drinking tap water. It would actually spoil the experience for me if I had to 'make do' with a child's portion and drink tap water, so I wouldn't go at all. But I say again, each to their own.