large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Person_one

cadon wrote: »

In a large group, it's too awkward to not split the bill evenly.

First, deal with the non-drinkers. Either come up with an arbitrary amount, or let them put in what they think they owe. If I'm drinking, I always make a point of standing up for those who were only on soft drinks because it's not fair they get stiffed.

Next, split what's left evenly amongst the other drinkers.

In the OP's situation, there are children, so I'd deal with them in the same way I do non-drinkers, I'd take them off the bill first. If they're young children, they've probably ordered from some cheapy set menu and had tiny soft drinks, so even a half-share of the adult price will be too much.

I always try to match others in a group situation - if they all want starters, I'll have a starter. If no one really wants a desert, I won't have a desert. When everyone orders from the same ballpark, it makes splitting the bill seem fair. It gets complicated when people start doing different things.

How is that less awkward than just sending the bill round on the little plate and everybody checking and adding their share?

duchy

silvercar wrote: »

Part of the reason you go out for a meal with friends is to enjoy their company, enjoy being waited on and enjoy the surroundings. That people should only pay for what they eat ignores the value of the non-food part of the evening.

Why ?
I would rather people were relaxed and knew there were no nasty financial surprises at the end of the evening than someone going home feeling their nice evening was spoiled because they felt a friend was taking advantage of them. ..... or fretting over the bill during the evening so not really enjoying themselves I don't actually believe who is paying the bill impacts on the enjoyment of good company - I can have an equally good time regardless if someone else is having a starter and a dessert course or cheese or three courses. It makes no difference so long as EVERYONE is happy both with the company and what they are expected to pay.

I do understand that when the bill arrives and the calculators come out it can rather change the vibe though........

FBaby

However, paying closer to £50 rather than £10 if that is indeed all you ordered - what kind of inconsiderate jerks are you going out with? I'd expect the people who sat next to you to pipe up and point out you had hardly anything and the bill isn't fair on you.

It's easy to do when you are in a big group and the one spending £10 is the odd one out. People after a few drinks do tend to underestimate how many they've had, and forget the one who quietly said no to every suggestion of their glass being refilled with bottles of wine that have been ordered (rather than individual glasses).

cadon

Person_one wrote: »

How is that less awkward than just sending the bill round on the little plate and everybody checking and adding their share?

Because it inevitably doesn't add up.

How do you deal with the shortfall, eh? Grill everyone individually on what they had and how much they put in? Awkward.

In that situation, someone who's already paid their fair share generally throws in extra cash just to sort the bill. I'm not saying people deliberately take advantage, but some just can't add up properly, particularly after sharing a bottle of wine.

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Most restaurants have quite healthy starters and usually at least one fruit based pudding, so it doesn't have to be as bad as your description usually.

Obviously my idea of "going out for dinner" is different from many on here - I can't really see how you can spend several hours in a restaurant eating only one dish and a having glass of water but I suppose we're all different.

Just as a matter of interest (and not getting at you) when you have people round for a meal, is that all you offer them (one dish and a glass of water, I mean) and how do you manage when friends invite you round?

For me it's one or two dishes and one or two drinks when I eat out.

The idea that you have to be physically eating or drinking all the time while out with friends is just ridiculous. If you're enjoying somebody's company why does it matter if one person is eating while another waits for the next course? And why does it matter if one is drinking water while another is drinking wine? Does the fact I am drinking lemonade make your wine taste different? And if I pass on dessert does it change the taste of yours?

As for when we have people round, it's usually my parents for a roast meal. There will be one large course and my parents will bring a bottle of Coke. We might drink wine but they prefer not to. I can't say that their glass of Coke has any effect at all on the taste of my wine.

Person_one

cadon wrote: »

Because it inevitably doesn't add up.

How do you deal with the shortfall, eh? Grill everyone individually on what they had and how much they put in? Awkward.

In that situation, someone who's already paid their fair share generally throws in extra cash just to sort the bill. I'm not saying people deliberately take advantage, but some just can't add up properly, particularly after sharing a bottle of wine.

In my experience its more common to end up with extra on the table!

Pollycat

DCFC79 wrote: »

Just do this, I try and make a note of the value of what Ive ordered and we all pay separately.

That's a good approach as long as you don't get those people who 'forget' they've had a liqueur coffee etc when hey're adding up their share of the bill.

cadon wrote: »

In a large group, it's too awkward to not split the bill evenly.

First, deal with the non-drinkers. Either come up with an arbitrary amount, or let them put in what they think they owe. If I'm drinking, I always make a point of standing up for those who were only on soft drinks because it's not fair they get stiffed.

Next, split what's left evenly amongst the other drinkers.

Personally, I think I'd opt not to go out with a group if the payment details were so difficult.

My opinion may differ from a lot of other posters as we don't tend to go out for meals with other people on a regular basis.

One reason for this is that we eat very slowly so eating out with someone who wolfs his starter down and is looking round for the waiter to take his plate and bring his main course before we've even picked up our cutlery is not a pleasant experience. So we prefer to plan meals out on our own.

We once as a group of 4 couples went for an 'all-you-can-eat' Chines buffet.
The way it works in this partuicular restaurant is that you can choose a number of dishes with rice/noodles and the idea is that you share your choice with anyone else who is interested in tasting it.

The waitress came and one chap said he liked spring rolls.
The waitress suggested a big platter of mixed starters - including spring rolls.
There were about 10 spring rolls and my OH and another friend took one of the spring rolls at which point we could hear whispers of 'they're eating your spring rolls'.
Well, not really as you can simply order more of whatever you want so nobody was missing out.

Various dishes attracted a premium e.g. steak instead of beef, king prawn instead of prawn.
The lettuce wrap course was also extra.

Towards the end of the main course, the waitress came round & asked if anyone wanted any more of anything.
My friend & I ordered aubergine - much to the clear disapproval of the first couple.
It didn't cost any extra - unlike the steak in black bean sauce, king prawn Kung Po and lettuce wrap course which they both had.

They were pretty huffy when it came to splitting the bill.
We've never been out with them for a meal since.

Georgiegirl256

cadon wrote: »

In a large group, it's too awkward to not split the bill evenly.

First, deal with the non-drinkers. Either come up with an arbitrary amount, or let them put in what they think they owe. If I'm drinking, I always make a point of standing up for those who were only on soft drinks because it's not fair they get stiffed.

Next, split what's left evenly amongst the other drinkers.

In the OP's situation, there are children, so I'd deal with them in the same way I do non-drinkers, I'd take them off the bill first. If they're young children, they've probably ordered from some cheapy set menu and had tiny soft drinks, so even a half-share of the adult price will be too much.

I always try to match others in a group situation - if they all want starters, I'll have a starter. If no one really wants a desert, I won't have a desert. When everyone orders from the same ballpark, it makes splitting the bill seem fair. It gets complicated when people start doing different things.

Talk about making things even more awkward! Some people do like to complicate things! :rotfl:

Regarding your last paragraph, I don't think that's fair at all and could even cause resentment amongst the group, and tbh I wouldn't enjoy the night or feel relaxed at all.

Say I want a starter but the majority of people don't? I'm meant to not have one, even though I would like one? Same for those wanting a desert, because I don't eat deserts, they are meant to miss out on having one or even worse (for me) I'm forced to have one to go along with the majority?

People should be able to feel relaxed and feel they can order what they want off a menu, not play follow me leader and go along with he majority. My BIL and SIL have the whole lot (starter, main, dessert, cheese board, port, wine and coffee), if I went along with that, I'd feel as sick as a pig, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to give anything up either just because we didn't want that course!

Easiest way is for everyone to put their fair share in, no need to complicate things, no need for any drama.

onlyroz

Ah Pollycat Brits just don't get the communal meal. Chinese, Indian and Thai meals are meant to be put into the middle of the table and shared by everyone. Traditionally you would be expected to wolf down as much as you could as fast as you could before somebody else nabs it first. To me, the idea of going into a restaurant like this and ordering one thing just for yourself is just plain weird and not getting into the spirit of things.

Pollycat

cadon wrote: »

I always try to match others in a group situation - if they all want starters, I'll have a starter. If no one really wants a desert, I won't have a desert. When everyone orders from the same ballpark, it makes splitting the bill seem fair. It gets complicated when people start doing different things.

FBaby wrote: »

I think that is the fairest approach if you are going to split the bill. If you are not and each pay for their own, then the least awkward is to round it up, rather than taking the calculator out and turning the party into an accounting lesson! it is usually easy to do when people only had a main and a drink, usually rounds up to £10/£15/£20 depending on the place.

That sounds bonkers!

Why would you want to order a starter just because everybody else is having one and not have a pudding when you want one just to make it easier to sort out the bill?

I stopped going out with the girls from work because they saw a meal out as a challenge to get through to the sweet course as fast as possible.

I would be still eating my main course as they were agitating for the dessert menu. I'd say 'go ahead and order because I won't be having a pudding'.

Then when the calculator came out and people were coppering up on the tablecloth I cringed with embarrassment. Next time they organised a meal, I was 'busy'.

I thought having a meal out was supposed to be a pleasurable experience.
Doesn't sound like it is for some people.