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large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

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  • missbiggles1
    missbiggles1 Posts: 17,481 Forumite
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    I usually only have a main ... so would certainly expect those who order more than one course to foot the bill for it themselves.

    I think that those who choose to eat only half the meal shouldn't be so stingy - it's bad enough sitting there po faced with an empty plate while others are enjoying themselves.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,780 Forumite
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    I think that those who choose to eat only half the meal shouldn't be so stingy - it's bad enough sitting there po faced with an empty plate while others are enjoying themselves.
    Maybe some people choose just a main course and soft drink because that's all their budget will run to.

    It would be cruel to exclude them from a family gathering but should they really have to subsidise other guests who may order the most expensive starter, main & dessert and maybe drink a whole bottle if wine to themselves?
  • missbiggles1
    missbiggles1 Posts: 17,481 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Person_one wrote: »
    Whatever they fancy off the menu that suits their budget of course, but somebody who has three courses plus wine shouldn't expect to pay the same as somebody who has one course and a soft drink!

    If that's what you're going to do, probably better to stay at home and not spoil everybody else's evening.(Or just pop down to the local chippy!)
  • missbiggles1
    missbiggles1 Posts: 17,481 Forumite
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    boliston wrote: »
    My other pet hate is the dreaded "set" menu - this assumes people have a "set" appetite which is far from the truth normally.

    Most set menus have a choice of dishes - I certainly wouldn't go if they didn't.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
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    I think that those who choose to eat only half the meal shouldn't be so stingy - it's bad enough sitting there po faced with an empty plate while others are enjoying themselves.

    Oh dear!

    Some people don't actually have as big an appetite as others for one thing. If I had three courses plus wine I'd be uncomfortably full, I only ever have two courses, max.

    Secondly, I hope you're not really insensitive enough to think that everybody can afford to just 'not be stingy' and sub other people. If it had to be done your way, a lot of less well off people would just have to turn down invites because they'd have no way of controlling how much they spend.

    Not sure why an empty plate means you can't join in and chat and enjoy yourself either...
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If that's what you're going to do, probably better to stay at home and not spoil everybody else's evening.(Or just pop down to the local chippy!)

    Do I get the feeling somebody has been ordering indulgently for years and expecting others to pay up? :rotfl:
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,433 Forumite
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    This discussion appears regularly, as it's a difficult one.

    Many years ago we used to eat out occasionally with another couple, both of whom worked, while I was a SAHM. The guy would always have a large steak, before suggesting splitting the bill. My vegetarian meal would have cost half the cost of the steak.

    Now, going out with friends means splitting the bill. We might be subsidising one guy, but his friendship is valuable in many ways.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
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    I do appreciate where you are coming from but I think it would have been much better having the conversation with your friends before going for that meal.
    It just sounds rude to me to put money on the table and leave before the bill arrives with what - according to your post - seems like no explanation at all.

    I totally agree with you, but OH thought he had had that conversation, hence the frustration on the day. The problem is that the party was big (20 ish people), so OH spoke with the birthday boy who had arranged the meal before and BB was absolutely fine with it. However, when it came to ordering dessert, someone else pipped up and said 'ok, we are all ordering aren't we since we are splitting the bill'. OH said that he didn't want dessert and neither did I, so would rather not, but someone else said that it would be too complicated to split it, and that surely it didn't matter for a couple of £ (except it wasn't just a couple!), and unfortunately, BB didn't say anything, which I can understand because it was his birthday and wouldn't have wanted to start an argument, even a 'friendly' one.

    We didn't just get up when the bill came though, we said we had to go and pick DD up and therefore put the money in front of BB and we said our normal goodbyes. As said, he then spoke to a few of them about it, and it hasn't been an issue since.
  • Georgiegirl256
    Georgiegirl256 Posts: 7,005 Forumite
    Jagraf wrote: »
    Of course the oppodite is also true if you want a drink and someone else us drinking tap water (not knocking it we do it sometimes) it can spoil it for those people too.

    How so? You should be confident enough in your own decisions to be able to drink what you want to. Wouldn't bother me if I wanted a drink and my dining companions were only drinking water. Some people drink water not because of the money but because that's what they prefer to drink with their meal (they don't drink alcohol and don't want a lemonade etc)
    I think that those who choose to eat only half the meal shouldn't be so stingy - it's bad enough sitting there po faced with an empty plate while others are enjoying themselves.

    What about people like me who don't eat desserts? Does that make me po faced and stingy because I don't like desserts? So therefore I shouldn't be allowed out to eat in public?! :rotfl:

    My husband loves deserts but doesn't eat a starter, so at at least twice in the evening there's someone sitting there with an empty plate.
  • Imp
    Imp Posts: 1,035 Forumite
    I think that those who choose to eat only half the meal shouldn't be so stingy - it's bad enough sitting there po faced with an empty plate while others are enjoying themselves.

    Quite right, it makes me feel very uncomfortable tucking into a nice meal in front of people who are not eating.
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