large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

seven-day-weekend

I agree that you should not have to subsidise someone else's food choices. So don't. Then it doesn't matter what they eat or drink. It doesn't mean they are greedy.

Georgiegirl256

Oh wow, this is going round in circles! I think PasturesNew has explained herself (I take it you are a she, apologies if I'm wrong) very well.

She enjoys going out, she enjoys eating out, she wants to pay for her own meal without having to subsidise everyone else. That's not really hard to understand is it?

Why should she have to miss out on a night out just because some people don't agree with the paying for your own meal thing?

What makes someone greedy is someone who takes advantage. Someone who eats and drinks all they can and then wants to split the bill equally.

Andypandyboy

PasturesNew wrote: »

They're only greedy if they order the most expensive item on each of the menu sections and eat something from every menu section and then expect somebody else to pay for it.

I just want to be able to not be stiffed into paying for somebody else's choices.

Why should I change my behaviour when somebody else is "in the wrong"? I am simply guilty of noticing and speaking out. They always shoot us first.

The greed isn't in the volume, it's in the expectation that it's all OK as somebody else is paying ... and they'll just pay "their share". When it's not. It's this thinking that lead to Duck Houses (or whatever they were) being purchased on expenses.

Thin end of the wedge ... of entitlement.

I always pay (more than) my part of the bill. I don't do it "to the penny" - I round up and then a bit more, for a tip (for those that do/care). So I'm already in for more than "just my share". Why don't others, who can well afford it, also do the same?

But are they in the wrong if that is the expectation of the group?

If, for arguments sake, we had some new friends join our group and at the end of the meal, as it customary, we split the bill and they disagreed why would it automatically be them that was right?

And again, your description of someone ordering " the most expensive item on each of the menu sections and eat something from every menu section" is outside my experience. People don't always have their eye on the main chance as you seem to think. Perhaps you have been unfortunate or perhaps your perception is skewed.

seven-day-weekend

But it was Pastures New who implied that people over-indulged if they had a starter and/or a sweet and/or more than one drink. I agree she shouldn't have to subsidise them. So she can just say 'Here's my tenner' and leave it at that. If they think she is mean there is not a lot she can do about that, just like they can't do anything about her thinking them greedy. You can't make people think differently if they don't want to. So just pay your own bill and don't care what other people say/do/think/eat.

(IMHO, that makes it all rather miserable and I wouldn't want to go again, but each to their own ).

Andypandyboy

My point is that if it is what the group do it simply wouldn't occur to them that they should say upfront. Maybe you should ask upfront when the invite comes?

seven-day-weekend

Andypandyboy wrote: »

My point is that if it is what the group do it simply wouldn't occur to them that they should say upfront. Maybe you should ask upfront when the invite comes?[/QUOTE]

Or just say,' yes I would love to come but I can only afford to pay my own bill', then everyone knows where they are.

seven-day-weekend

You really don't like the people you eat with very much, do you?

IF that unlikely event occurs, just say it was arranged that you would pay for your own. And do so.

If they mind, they mind. You can't do anything about that, any more than they can do anything about the fact that you think they are all out to screw you over.

Georgiegirl256

PasturesNew wrote: »

Yes - and a very small, timid one.

Bless :grouphug: Your posts do make me sad sometimes, but at the same time you're not afraid to speak up for what you believe in, and you're not afraid to make an effort and get yourself out there.

Feral_Moon

onlyroz wrote: »

But what if you want the £75 tasting menu and I want a single course at say £25. Should we split the bill and pay £50 each? If you insisted on doing that then I wouldn't be eating out with you again.

I never mentioned anything about 'splitting the bill' as we'd all be having the same food if we were going out to sample the taster menu. Otherwise we'd simply select a different restaurant with a varied menu.

The only difference would perhaps be the drinks bill but very often you get served a taster sample of wines to compliment the food too, therefore it would still be the same charge per head. There is no individual choice at some of these restaurants.

Georgiegirl256

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But it was Pastures New who implied that people over-indulged if they had a starter and/or a sweet and/or more than one drink. I agree she shouldn't have to subsidise them. So she can just say 'Here's my tenner' and leave it at that. If they think she is mean there is not a lot she can do about that, just like they can't do anything about her thinking them greedy. You can't make people think differently if they don't want to. So just pay your own bill and don't care what other people say/do/think/eat.

(IMHO, that makes it all rather miserable and I wouldn't want to go again, but each to their own ).

As far as I can gather, she's implying that people are greedy if they eat and drink a lot and then expect others to pay for their indulgence.
Which, I actually agree with. People can eat and drink all they want, I couldn't care less, just don't expect me to pay for it.

She does just pay her own bill and leaves it at that....what are people not understanding here?

What I think is miserable is that people just won't live and let live and accept that some people are happier with just paying for their own meal and drink. Everybody should be allowed to have a night out without being judged as spoiling someone's night. There's far more important things to worry about IMO.