large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

missbiggles1

PasturesNew wrote: »

Why is it snobbery to spot a difference?

I'm not being snobby, just stating a fact. He eats at some posh places.

To be a snob would be to say: Oh my goodness, I'd never eat there, how awful, I wouldn't be seen dead near the place, full of vile people who "haw haw" all the time and make a lot of noisy chatter.

I said "inverse snobbery" - you seem to have missed that point.

melanzana

Andypandyboy wrote: »

I will be honest. I think that if you go out with the mindset that everyone is out to diddle you, or shortchange you in some way then it will happen. I think there are more nice people than otherwise and if that means I occasionally get taken advantage of (as with the dinner wine and the friend) then I accept it, mitigate it and move on. I won't be the cynic looking for trouble.

I don't let that affect how I view others or how I interact with them. I don't have any bad experiences of friends stuffing their faces because we regularly split the bill, I don't feel the need to watch what others eat because I trust them to be fair, as they do me. It works....for us. I am absolutely sure that none of our group of friends is any more out of pocket than the next person because we split the bill, it evens out over the year.

That is the perfect explanation.

Anyone who watches what others do, or partake in has a little problem. It evens out, as you say.

If it doesn't over a long period, and you notice, well why are you dining/drinking with them?

Most people just go out and pay for it. When people know each other well, no one is going to take advantage, otherwise they will eventually be sidelined by everyone over time.

Life is for living folks.

Georgiegirl256

I think one of the weirdest drink buying experiences I've ever witnessed was a husband and wife each buying their own drinks. If the husband went up to the bar to buy the drinks for them both, then he would request the cost of the drink to the penny off his wife.

silvercar

74jax wrote: »

Sorry I don't fully understand.

Host said everyone that's x amount, I 'think' it was £27 each but to be honest I don't really know. Ours was £10.95 each, rounded to 11 was £33, DD had a £6 starter and we all paid 2 for a tip. I paid 45 by card.

Really wasn't an issue.

I'm not sure what you mean I should offer? I just said it's ok well pay for our own it's only 45 for us three.

Would you have done the same if your little mini group of 3 had spent more than the amount asked for?

missbiggles1

PasturesNew wrote: »

Now you've got me confused, did I not give an example of what I'd have said if I'd been doing inverse snobbery?

Not that I did as I was merely stating a fact. He chows down at some posh gaffs!

The examples you gave were of common or garden normal snobbery.

Suggesting that the terms table d'hote and a la carte indicate a posh restaurant are, to my mind, an example of inverse snobbery.

Andypandyboy

PasturesNew wrote: »

Nobody goes out with the mindset - it's what happens to us when we're out.

Some of us are 'taken advantage of' (or at least they try to until we pipe up) EVERY time, not for £1-2 but for £20+ EVERY time.

And here, we're just pointing out that this happens.

You end with saying that you're sure that ... your group .... evens out over the year - but what if it NEVER did. Ever. Never, ever.?

You don't mind because it never happens to you, you only dine with friends/family, you're all similar and eat/drink similar stuff, you'll see them many times again and you can afford to spend a bit willy nilly on going out.

The trouble is when you take that mentality into a group of strangers and expect things to be the way you always do it.

If I had the money I'd not mind subsidising here and there, swings and roundabouts, for people I knew/liked who were family/friends. But I do begrudge being told to pay for the obnoxious fella's prawn starter, King Prawns, bottle of wine, biggest dessert, coffee and a brandy to finish when I've never met him before, don't like him and I only had fish & chips off the specials board for £6.

So, we come back to the question of why you bother if it happens every time, and with regard to the bolded text, really why would you go if those were your thoughts?

Sorry to be be blunt, but if it happened every time to me, or that was my perception of it, then I would be looking a bit closer to home for the reason...

From your other posts I don't think you are representative of the norm though so maybe you will feel that way. Maybe socialising is just not your forte? Apologies if I have caused offence as I don't know your life circumstances or why you are in the position you appear to be in, but that is what comes across.

missbiggles1

PasturesNew wrote: »

Aren't they? You don't get a la carte at Wetherspoons, nor table d'hote at Toby Carvery. Nor have I ever encountered the phrases when discussing going out to eat food.

So, I think the terms DO indicate a posh restaurant.

But pointing that out isn't inverse snobbery if it was just an observation. And, in my opinion, it's true.

Wetherspoons are pubs that serve food, not restaurants. Carveries are, well, carveries.

Andypandyboy

PasturesNew wrote: »

You're invited to a get together and you go .... but when you get there there are other people, people others invited along.


So you're saying it's MY fault that random greedy bugg4hs turn up at restaurants when random groups of people invite their random friends/associates?

There doesn't have to be one every time, but you know you'll encounter them more than once. Only once each, but there'll be another at some point. They don't see they're doing it maybe; maybe their lifestyle is used to excesses in everything. But I can't be blamed for their lack of awareness skills.



I am representative of the only norm I know. Socialising isn't my forte. I'm not a people person by any stretch of the imagination.

But I do TRY to "do the right thing" of going out/getting to meet people etc, irrespective of the fact that it invariably is odious. I enjoy going out; I hate some people/bits of it, but I appreciate/enjoy the fact I did go out.

I am saying that you seem to have a different perception of people and it often appears to be hypercritical. It seems from what you have posted (often quite venomously) that you actively look for problems. That is how it comes across.

I don't understand why if it is "invariably odious" you think it is the right thing to do. There is an old saying if you keep doing the same thing you will get the same results.

Do volunteer, do go to events, don't go out to eat as it seems that it causes you problems, do something different and you may get different results.

Again, apologies, if I have offended, it is just my take on your posts.

missbiggles1

PasturesNew wrote: »

You're invited to a get together and you go .... but when you get there there are other people, people others invited along.


So you're saying it's MY fault that random greedy bugg4hs turn up at restaurants when random groups of people invite their random friends/associates?

There doesn't have to be one every time, but you know you'll encounter them more than once. Only once each, but there'll be another at some point. They don't see they're doing it maybe; maybe their lifestyle is used to excesses in everything. But I can't be blamed for their lack of awareness skills.



I am representative of the only norm I know. Socialising isn't my forte. I'm not a people person by any stretch of the imagination.

But I do TRY to "do the right thing" of going out/getting to meet people etc, irrespective of the fact that it invariably is odious. I enjoy going out; I hate some people/bits of it, but I appreciate/enjoy the fact I did go out.

But "going out" doesn't have to mean going out for a meal or even a drink. If you dislike doing these things so much (or at least don't like the people you do them with) why not do something else that you do enjoy? Life's too short to do things you don't enjoy, particularly when money's short as well.:)

seven-day-weekend

I agree with missbiggles post above. You seem to dislike going out to eat and drink with people...and you have called people greedy if they eat more than you....it's obviously not an enjoyable experience, so why do it? Do something you DO enjoy, where maybe you might like the people a little more....whether that be going to the cinema, playing poker, walking in the country, or whatever.