Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

Oh my goodness, I have just noticed your signature Flick! I really hope that's a reference to red dwarf That is without a doubt, my all-time favourite programme. There's very few days where I don't watch an episode

Flick216

tea_lover wrote: »

Oh my goodness, I have just noticed your signature Flick! I really hope that's a reference to red dwarf That is without a doubt, my all-time favourite programme. There's very few days where I don't watch an episode

Hell yes!!!

tea_lover

I quite often have to stop myself using random red dwarf quotes in conversation :rotfl:.

I'm really looking forward to a nice long weekend. Tonight I absolutely have to do some housework (it's getting desperate!) and then will be treating myself to a few hours of RD to kick the weekend off in style..... I know how to live :D

codemonkey

Apologies for the lack of response to anyone's posts but it's been a stressful time.

Penguin about hospitals, illness and death

My dad is dying. We all got called in through the night, because the doctors said he didn't have long, but he lasted through. Today the doctor told us all they can do is make him comfortable until he dies.

I can't stop crying. I don't know why it's hit me so hard today. I knew he was going to die but seeing him there and hearing those words has broken me. I need to be brave and strong to support my mum and I'm failing at that. I've come home for a bit because the whole family are in and he gets stressed but I have to go back in later on. I really need to find my big girl pants.

End penguin.

On the subject of Red Dwarf quotes Mr CP and I often call each other a smee hee.

elsien

Penguin reply to Code

So so sorry to hear that, code. You must be devastated.
Sometimes even when you know something is happening, someone else saying it or something else happening just brings the reality crashing in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with breaking your heart crying, if that's what you need to do to keep going. You and your mum might need to be strong for each other at different times, that's all. Take your rest, and your grieving, and your looking after yourself when you can, because that's a better way to stay strong than bottling it all up inside.
Take care of yourself as best you can.

seven-day-weekend

tea_lover wrote: »

Oh my goodness, I have just noticed your signature Flick! I really hope that's a reference to red dwarf That is without a doubt, my all-time favourite programme. There's very few days where I don't watch an episode

The signature is a quote from Ace Rimmer, isn't it?

Penguin about loss and religion: My husband and I have resigned from our church, that we have attended and been very active in for eight years. I won't go into the reasons, suffice it to say it is a very large, lively and full-on type of church and it no longer 'works' for us. It's time for us to part ways.

I'm quite sad. When something is very much a part of your life, there is a sense of loss. We have friends there, who of course we will still see, but we will no longer be sharing this important part of our lives with them.

Hubby is quite relieved, he had been unsettled there for a long time.

So.....we have to find a new place to worship. We are not going to try to find another 'home'...we'll probably just attend the nearest C of E . The rnd of an era.

Thanks for listening and I hope someone understands.

End penguin.

Welcome Flick, I agree your son sounds depressed, what a horrible time for you both. I hope you can discuss it with him sometime when he is feeling receptive.

And code, cry all you want to - better out than in.

Waves_and_Smiles

Welcome to our thread, Flick! I am so sorry to hear about your son, it must be a huge worry for you. Can I first say, this is not your fault. I feel like you need to hear that. You are doing everything you can for him.

There are two interlinking problems, one is his drinking and the other is why he is drinking, With the first, first of all many 20 year old's drink a lot, it is pretty normal. But what stands out is he is telling you how much he needs to drink to function, that is a little different. It sounds like he is using it as I did at his age to self-medicate, just as people take an antidepressant he is drinking to control his pain. The key is what he is trying to block out.

He may have some depression and I don't think any antidepressant could do any harm at all. I can't guess what is causing him to self-medicate, it could be any one of a hundred things but it is clear by his withdrawal from life too that something is hurting him. Please absolve yourself of the responsibility to stop him drinking, this is not for you to do. The responsibility is his. By all means set boundaries of what is acceptable in your house but you cannot stop him, no one can stop anyone drinking. I know that is painful to realise.

I think giving his counsellor a synopsis of his past is a very good idea, can you go with him to an appointment? For your part you are doing all the right things, stay open to discussion with him, be there as his mum and spoil him a little. Just let him know he is loved and you are there for him. He could just be a lost 20 year old, it happens for some people at that age or it might be something deeper. Until he talks you cannot know and that is not your fault. Look after you a little more and don't blame yourself, it is clear you would do anything for him and he is very lucky to have you.

Waves_and_Smiles

Big hugs Code, hang in there I know this is hard and I am so sorry. Don;t forget to look after you and take some time to breathe, we are all here for you.

Penitent, you are tired after the visitors and your resources are low, of course it is hard right now. Distract as much as you can and just try to go easy on yourself until you get your energy back.

SDW, I am sure you must be feeling sad right now. You know you have both done the right thing for you both and you won't lose the friends you have made. I wish you both peace.

ljaneyr

Hello all, I posted briefly on this thread last year but I've been away from MSE for a long while. I'm really struggling at the moment and it was this thread that made me feel like coming back to MSE.

Penguin reply to code:

I went through a similar experience with my dad a few years ago and remember very well how awful it is sitting in the hospital wondering when the inevitable will happen. I'm here if you want to talk.

Janey x

PS hope I got the penguin thingy right!

Waves_and_Smiles

Janey! Welcome back! I am so sorry you are struggling right now, we are all here to listen if you need to talk. Don't worry, that was a perfect penguin!