Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

codemonkey

MU - I completely sympathise.

I have to confess, no matter how nice it is to have people bidding for my services, going back to the old job feels like a failure. A huge, and very public admission that I can't cut it. Part of me wants to progress in my career, be successful, earn the big bucks and rise through the ranks and live up to my potential, the lazy part tells me that it's too much work and perhaps I'd rather have a nap now, the 'damaged' part tells me that I'm not up to it, not good enough, too stupid or whatever, and the sensible part tells me that, for now, I need to be somewhere where I can manage my own pace of work (current place harasses me for updates constantly to the point where I feel my progress is being hampered by having to prepare constant updates) and have a desk that's mine (hot desking is anxiety provoking for me) and there's no point making myself ill for a 'better' career prospect.

Sorry, making this all about me again, but my point is, we're both in a situation where we know that the forward move isn't something we can cope with at the moment (and at least you manage to recognise that rather than wasting months struggling). That won't always be the case. Perhaps in a few months, or years, we'll be ready, and I think your own personal experiences with MH issues will serve you well and make you a really great manager in time, or perhaps our paths will change when life throws something else in the way and we end up doing something totally different.

heartbreak_star

Thank you so much Lambyr! I shall do an investigate

Code/MU, much love. We all just need a day in the fort.

HBS x

whitewing

I want one:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ikeas-ingenious-flatpack-garden-city-9912617

whitewing

Good morning. Hope you all have a lovely day today. I have a long, long day at work.

Gingernutty

I had a chat with the sick co-worker who was back in last week.

She's very friendly, full on and a tad oversharing. I got a detailed description of her domestic set up (complicated) and we ended up sharing phone pics.

When I told her that I had no partner, no children and few friends she felt sorry for me and assumed I was lonely and spent my free time locked away in my house, speaking to no one from Friday night to Monday morning.

I tried to disabuse her of this but could not.

Yesterday, I woke up with a cracking headache, didn't do much until about 3pm when I went to the launderette with a sleeping bag I need to send down to my brother after he went home in a huff. I was tired of waiting for him to be free to work on my house and had finally managed to commission a builder.

I went to the launderette, spoke to virtually no one and went home to lie down some more as the headache hadn't lifted.

I have just spent a large portion of the weekend proving her right. :eek:

I'm annoyed with myself as I wanted to do a fair bit and have done next to nothing so far.

Ah well. Back to bed....

elsien

Don't know why you're annoyed with yourself, gingernutty. First off you weren't feeling great, and secondly a spot of hibernation is fine once in a while. Doesn't matter what other people think

I've been listening to a Stephen Fry radio 4 programme about mental health and language, and how it's used. Missed half of it, so will find the rest on catch-up. It was more interest than I've made it sound!

Followed by an afternoon in a field full of traveller's horses practicing "let's not be a plonker around livestock" with Gitdog. Luckily the horses are bomb proof and used to idiot dogs, as I got chatting and found out the family owns a bull terrier.

Gingernutty

I know, elsien, it just happened to come after that conversation.

I'm working regular hours and nothing has improved. I thought I'd be able to get the garden done at some stage over the week- nope Storm Doris, the not half term and the weather went against me so the weekend was all that was left.

All I've done is the laundry, shopping, lying around, browsing the internet and I'm now stirring myself to repair the metal ends of a scarf and possibly shortening a pair of trousers.

With all the spare time I have, you'd have thought I'd have more done.

And. And. (she said, outraged at herself), I forgot to bring my timesheet in on Friday so I won't get paid this week.

I really need to find some way of managing my time.

FML as they say in Internetworld.

Waves_and_Smiles

I am around. Two day migraine and counting. I have been awake for over 24 hours because the pain is worse when I close my eyes, been sick numerous times, slurred speech and numb right arm. I hate migraines like this, there is nothing to do but wait until it stops.

Hope everyone is ok, I will be in the fort with a duvet over my head.

whitewing

Got given a pile of books yesterday, which is always much appreciated. One or two we have already got so they will go to a charity shop. Another is new enough to be included as part of a present for my father. I need to wrap it and stick it in my present cupboard.

I picked up a set of placemats and coasters at a charity shop and am painting those with littlewing as a gift for grandma. I also picked up some clothes for family members which are now washed and dried and looking good.

Planning some seaside trips in the next school holidays. Also contemplating a trip to see someone dear at Easter.

I got offered a place on an autism research project (online) so I will try and fit the first part of that in today. It does give me a boost to try and help with these studies.

I made cakes yesterday so I will give some to family later to stop me eating them all! They are tasty.

I also need to practise my martial arts.

I am making an effort to find joy in small moments right now. It would be easy to flatten out.

tea_lover

Hope you managed to get some rest WaS and are feeling better. I haven't had a migraine for about 10 years (probably tempting fate by saying that!) but I definitely remember the awful nausea, pins and needles, pain etc...... really hope it beggars off soon!

Had a lovely week off (from work, from life ).... now back in the office and feeling perilously close to a panic attack.