Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Solarjunkie

Ah, Gingernutty, I share your shoe pain. Very few styles suit my feet, 2 have been discontinued so I trawl ebay daily in hope.
Cosyfeet specialise in wider shoes, the ones called Daisy are often mentioned favourably when people complain about the lack of comfy stylish shoes. Like these
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Cosyfeet-Extra-Roomy-Daisy-Sandal-Navy-Womens-UK-3-5-EEEEE-fitting-/162038264456?hash=item25ba3bb288:g:6dIAAOSw1DtXD5tg

Gingernutty

Thanks guys

I've ordered shoes from Cosyfeet and Fiftyplus already.

The 'tailored' ads on my phone are now showing me shoes from these websites.

I was that hacked off with Hotter, I just left after seeing their EEE range.

Three pairs of shoes. Lace ups similar to ones I've already ordered, a nasty pair of navy and maroon lace ups and a lumpy pair of Mary Janes.

EEE. Brilliant.

whitewing

code,

It is so much more enjoyable to feel good about the gifts you are giving so I would probably buy a third gift, if you can afford it.

gingernutty,

The charity shops in our area are a reasonable source of (new) cosyfeet shoes. They are not cheap for a charity shop but are cheap for cosyfeet. They are an excellent brand, once you have accepted you need the style.

Think evans also did some wider fitting footwear but they may not be suitable for medical needs.

This is harsh, but if you are not going to need them in the future I would charity shop the shoes I can't wear any longer. Things get less painful to me when I make space for the new stuff.

Generally

one of the bests posts I have ever seen on depression symptoms:

From Your Quora Digest
What are some uncommon signs of depression?
My single and divorced dad may be depressed. Recently my dad has been extremely irritable and both emotionally and socially isolated. He does not talk with me or my sibling, stays in his room after coming from work, and is consumed by work, hanging out only with his employees outside of work.
Betsy Sansby
Betsy Sansby, Private counseling practice in Minneapolis. Also available on Skype.
Updated Oct 22
Depression often shows up differently in men than in women. For example, a woman suffering from depression will often describe feeling: worthless, sad, “like a failure,” “like I’m dying inside,” “like a bad mom (friend, partner), “like a burden.” If she has what’s called “anxious depression,” meaning anxiety plus depression, she may also describe feeling: revved up, frightened, short-tempered, and afraid to go out or be seen.

The physical symptoms a woman often complains of include: insomnia, loss of appetite, agitation, low frustration tolerance, heaviness in the chest and limbs, difficulty concentrating, exhaustion, over-sensitivity to noise, chatter, irritating people.

The mental processes caused by depression are experienced as: excessive worrying about nothing and everything (‘looping’ or ruminating), irrational beliefs about one’s self and one’s value, oversensitivity to perceived slights, criticism, sad images or stories.

Depression in men often goes unrecognized because men seldom experience or describe feeling sad or depressed. Instead, they describe feeling: angry, irritable, short-tempered, or bored with their partner, job. They also describe feeling: old, washed-up, !!!!ed off with everything.

Most often, men who are depressed don’t describe a lot of physical symptoms. They may be losing or gaining weight, sleeping poorly, or having unusual aches or pains. But unless their therapist or doctor specifically asks about these things, they aren’t reported.

What I see most often in men who are depressed aren’t physical complaints, or complaints of an overwhelming sadness. Instead, I hear about changes in their behavior. They’re drinking too much. They’ve stopped seeing friends. They’re avoiding social events. They’re having affairs. They hate their jobs. They’re impatient with their kids. They’re quick to experience simple requests or complaints as demands or attacks.

I remember reading the intake forms from a couple I was scheduled to see for therapy. The man checked off all of the symptoms listed above. He also Indicated that he’d been seeing a well-known colleague on and off for the past 11 years.

My first question to the man was “How have you and your therapist been addressing your depression?” His wife began to cry, and he said, “He’s never mentioned that I might be depressed, but I’ve always wondered if maybe that’s why I’m so unhappy.”

Eleven years of therapy, and his therapist hadn’t recognized the man was depressed! I knew even before I’d met him—just from reading his intake form—that the man was depressed. I was stunned. And angry. The man was drinking heavily. His wife had given up trying to get him to stop drinking long ago, and although he was continuing to function at work as a financial analyst, he was in a free fall into darkness.

Luckily, the man agreed to go on antidepressants, and within weeks, his wife announced “He’s back!”

We need to do a better job as clinicians to educate the public about the many faces of depression. Too many men and woman are suffering unnecessarily with the worst of illnesses, and one that once recognized, can be treated effectively.

Thank you for asking this question. It’s an important one for all of us.

from quora.com

Gingernutty

http://www.cosyfeet.com/belle#.WE0wrnRFDqA in black

http://www.fiftyplus.co.uk/shop/cushion-walk-touch-and-close-bar-fastening-leather-shoes-extra-wide-eee-fit/ft619/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=4700#colour:Black,size:4

http://www.fiftyplus.co.uk/shop/heavenly-soles-leather-monk-shoes-extra-wide-eee-fit/iu292/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=4700#colour:Black,size:4

Waiting for these.

Gingernutty

This is harsh, but if you are not going to need them in the future I would charity shop the shoes I can't wear any longer. Things get less painful to me when I make space for the new stuff.

I know it's what I need to do.

The shoes were expensive and most have barely been worn. I'm gutted.

The DMs, the Converse, the Vans, the Clarks all unwearable.

Pyxis

Gingernutty wrote: »

I know it's what I need to do.

The shoes were expensive and most have barely been worn. I'm gutted.

The DMs, the Converse, the Vans, the Clarks all unwearable.

Why not eBay them?

whitewing

Have you got size 4 feet? That's dinky. The shoes will look great on you.

Gingernutty

Yes. Size 4. The feet are so wide at the toes, they look like I've put socks on flippers.

The amount of hassle ebay would be with everything else that's going on (job, house, flat, GCSE) - would it be worth it?

Pyxis

Gingernutty wrote: »

Yes. Size 4. The feet are so wide at the toes, they look like I've put socks on flippers.

The amount of hassle ebay would be with everything else that's going on (job, house, flat, GCSE) - would it be worth it?

I suppose it depends what you could get for them.

Otherwise, do you have a good secondhand clothes agency near you, who would buy them, or take them on a sale or return basis?

Failing that, put a free ad in your local paper as someone else with small, wide feet might jump at them!
Pun sort of intended!

whitewing

Gingernutty wrote: »

Yes. Size 4. The feet are so wide at the toes, they look like I've put socks on flippers.

The amount of hassle ebay would be with everything else that's going on (job, house, flat, GCSE) - would it be worth it?

Feet always look much worse when you look down at them.

Gumtree the shoes? They could be gone within a week.