Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

ljaneyr - I get it, I really do. Fwiw, it really does sound as if your husband and wider family were trying to be sensitive and doing what they could to save you further heartache, but I also fully understand that sometimes that just doesn't help! My twins would be 3 this Christmas and I know that no one will mention them at all (which annoys me), but then I also know if anyone dared to bring the subject up that would also annoy me. Sometimes you get a subject so sensitive that no matter what people do (and however well-meaning) it will touch all manner of nerves. Take care xx

GN - am currently contemplating resigning to get out of a trip in January. Hope the appraisal goes ok in the end.

whitewing

tea,

I hadn't realised about the twins.

Everybody, sometimes I really don't know what to say when I read your posts. But I still wish each of you hugs and laughter and kind thoughts etc.

For those thinking of skipping concerts and meals - try and go. Things always are worse in my head than the reality! (My DH is skipping his xmas meal tonight so I obviously don't dish out the right advice)

ljaneyr

Thanks Izadora and tea lover. The trouble is I am upset and am worrying about hiding it. I'm just so weepy I just want to hide.
Currently trying to get out of bed

whitewing

Why don't you stay in bed for a bit longer.

Don't worry too much about trying to hide it tonight. Pretend you have a cold coming on if necessary.

I popped back to show you animal lovers some rather nice farm animals

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4014282/Going-roll-hay-French-farmers-latest-profession-strip-racy-2017-calendar.html

calleyw

This is not a criticism to anyone here.

You have to remember that people are stuck between a rock and hard place. Before my lovely nephews where born my SIL lost a baby. It has never been mentioned since.

I have never known if I should mention it or not. Because I don't want it to be brushed under the carpet. But do I says something and risk upsetting my lovely SIL. See how difficult it is for people.

its not that we have forgotten as I have not. And I doubt that my SIL has either. But she has moved on and has two beauty boys now.

ljaneyr I am sure that you husband and SIL are doing what they think is best to protect you. This is slightly different and not as devastating. But my ex-husband wrestled for a couple of weeks to tell me that an recent on/off ex had come in to the the shop he volunteers in with his new gf. It put him on the spot and really caused him much distress. As he did not want to upset or hurt me.

Please come in to the fort and join us wrapped up in duvets. Plenty of hugs and handshakes and squishes for all.

Yours

Calley X

Waves_and_Smiles

Penguin about suicide (not me)

My old work colleague's daughter committed suicide yesterday. She had Borderline Personality Disorder and had been fighting it for years with many hospital stays. I had been trying to help my friend help her for six months and had spoken to her myself a few times. I will remember her as the little girl I used to babysit for years ago who used to hold herself up on my knees and smile up at me. I taught her how to say ambulance. I am so sad, she was only 22 and beautiful in every way. I may be quiet for a few days, I just can't believe she's gone.

End penguin

Torry_Quine

WaS That's hard.

Lambyr

Sorry, WaS.

Thoughts are with you.

Pyxis

ljaneyr, that's a bit rough.

I must admit, I'd hate it if someone close to me kept something like that from me, however well-meaning.
It also means that there's now no time for you to absorb the fact and process it before being faced with the bump. And at Christmas.
Oh dear. :A

Penguin for Tea..... I've been thinking about what you said about being equally irritated by people mentioning and people not mentioning the loss of your babies.

I've only known two people who have lost babies, and both of them preferred to have the loss acknowledged and remembered, if only in a "thinking of you at this tough time" sort of way..... A brief acknowledgment of the 'anniversary' and that someone is thinking of them, but left at that, and without expecting a response.
Would something like that be ok, or would that annoy you too?


Whitewing, I think you do very well. In fact, since you have been on here, I have seen a big change in how you do respond to people! It's been great!




Edit.WaS...just read your penguin. (((((((((WaS))))))))))))

calleyw

(((WaS))) so sorry to hear that.

And it was not your fault.

Yours

Calley X