Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

Code - how did the meeting with your manager go the other day?

Pyxis

elsien wrote: »

Tonight I am angry. Angry about a MH system where people are left without support when they are particularly vulnerable then are left to pick up the pieces when it goes pearshaped. Where systems seem designed to let people slip through the gaps because services are frantically passing the buck to someone else.
Tonight I'm going to carry on being furious. Because I haven't been this angry in a long time. Tomorrow I'm going to try to work out what I can do in my own small bit of it.
And breathe.

Elsien, that sort if anger can be very productive.

Some of my best results and clearest thinking came when I was very angry about something, justifiably angry.

Sometimes I wish I could get that feeling back! I need something to be justifiable angry about!

tea_lover

Totally agree Pyxis, it can be very motivating. These days I tend to be irrationally angry at really pointless things..... I need to harness the power of righteous indignation again!

Elsien - have you sorted out a plan of action today?

codemonkey

It was ok. I told him that I was bored and raised my concerns about the work. He did say that I had to "prove myself" before I can have any interesting work, at which point I told him that I can't do that without the right system access and it's a total waste of my skills, so he's been trying to give me something to do and I now have some relevant work. I still don't feel reassured. I find the work boring and I can't see myself ever being enthusiastic about it and I hate the sector. Honestly, I've mentally checked out and I just don't want to be there.

The previous exercise helped me out a lot, in that it highlighted what's important to me. I actually ended up disagreeing with the posts saying I should stay. :rotfl: So, I did my variation on the coin toss idea. Going to penguin this in case it falls under religion but it shouldn't be too triggery. So vaguely alternative religious pseudo-sciencey penguin
My mum used to be into aromatherapy and reflexology and alternative therapies and she had a book on crystals. I don't really believe in any of that stuff, but there was a bit in there about divining where you use a crystal to answer some questions and predict the future. So, years ago as a teenager, I gave it a go to see if the boy I liked would ask me out. You basically hold up a crystal or a piece of jewellery you wear on a string (or a piece of your hair if you moult a lot, like me) over your other hand. You ask some test questions with a yes or no answer "Am I male?" "Am I female" and keep your hand as still as you can and it will move (seemingly on it's own) in one direction for yes and one for no.

Of course, it's utter nonsense because you will make tiny movements you're unaware of to move the crystal to what you want to hear but it turns out that makes it pretty useful to work out what your subconscious wants you to do. So I've been using it for that purpose ever since.
End penguin

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've reapplied to the old company. Things don't move quickly there so there's plenty of time to change my mind, and I figured that I should take my time, see what they offer me and keep my options open for now. It also makes me feel like I am doing something and have some options. Also, the old place is quite a big organisation, so I might even be rehired in a totally different department. In the meantime, I'll continue to apply for other jobs if I see any I like.

Having a terrible day so far. Trains are all cancelled so I can't get to work and my log in isn't working from home. Guess I'm on holday today then.

codemonkey

Elsien - I think the trouble is that there's no money for MH, which means that it's just pushed to the back of the queue and ignored. If they can't see it, it doesn't exist, right?

tea_lover

Code - that all sounds really productive. Ok, you're still in the same situation at the moment but you seem to have a lot better idea on what you do and don't want and that always seems the hardest part to me! Glad that the posts helped

Am having a bit of a career/life crisis too..... and in a truly ridiculous manner it was started by an unexpected payrise. I've somehow ended up in a career I really don't enjoy, with no other skills and no idea what I'd even want to do if I could start again. I do 100% know that I don't want to spend the next 35 or so years doing this..... but I haven't the faintest clue what to do instead.

codemonkey

Tea - I know exactly what you mean about the payrise. It was much easier when I was younger and was paid less. More money reduces the pool of jobs out there and become feel trapped in a career without realising because to retrain usually means a massive decline in money. If you're single or in my case, need both of you in work to have any quality of life, it's a huge decision.

Pyxis

codemonkey wrote: »

Tea - I know exactly what you mean about the payrise. It was much easier when I was younger and was paid less. More money reduces the pool of jobs out there and become feel trapped in a career without realising because to retrain usually means a massive decline in money. If you're single or in my case, need both of you in work to have any quality of life, it's a huge decision.

I suppose my answer to that would be " please define quality of life".

The answer will vary from person to person.........

For some, it will mean a lot of material things and money to spend on lots of stuff and holidays etc.
For others, it will mean having enough to pay the bills and a little extra.

For some, it will be having challenges every day.
For others it will be a calm environment and peace of mind.

For some, it will be a job that pays a lot so that the money can be used for enjoyment.
For others, it will be the job itself needing to provide satisfaction, regardless of the earnings.

For some, their job would also be their hobby, so they don't need anything else.
For others, their relationships are more important than their job.

Etc., etc.



So, it might be a good exercise to attempt to define what would give you quality of life, and what you would be willing to forgo in order to have that quality of life.
If you can't decide between two options, you could try Code's crystal test to see what your subconscious says!

tea_lover

Yep - I know what sort of things I want from life and what is/isn't important to me (ie. enough money to pay the mortgage and not panic about turning on the heating, not bothered about 'stuff', some sense of doing something vaguely worthwhile etc)..... just not a clue what sort of work that actually translates into.

codemonkey

tea_lover wrote: »

Yep - I know what sort of things I want from life and what is/isn't important to me (ie. enough money to pay the mortgage and not panic about turning on the heating, not bothered about 'stuff', some sense of doing something vaguely worthwhile etc)..... just not a clue what sort of work that actually translates into.

Similar to tea, although I'd like enough money to travel too. I've spent a good proportion of my adult life being poor and having to carefully manage money to eat, living on value beans on value toast and walking for miles because I couldn't afford bus fair, panicking in the night and phoning online banking to check I had enough to pay the rent, begging for my overdraft to be extended once again so I can afford to pay my electric bill, huddling under a pile of duvets shivering because I can't afford a flat with heating and the electric heater is too expensive and while there's a certain creative element involved in that, I never want to go back to a situation where I feel like that again.

What this whole terrible job situation has taught me is that I value flexibility, time to spend with Mr CP and DA dog and leave for medical appointments without having to worry about using up annual leave over money and career prospects, but I also have a mortgage to pay, food to buy and a very spoiled DA dog to pay for, so I can't just chuck it all in.